Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
“The nicest part is being able to write down all my thoughts and feelings, otherwise I might suffocate.” Anne Frank from The Diary of a Young Girl: The Definitive Edition.
It all started with the pink diary I received for my eleventh birthday. It had a key so I could lock away all my deepest secrets, like what boy I had a crush on in the sixth grade or all the fun I had at the girl scout camping trip even though those half-cooked hot dogs made me yearn for home.
I could write whatever I was thinking and feeling and nobody would ever know.
Now I am writing a memoir and the whole world will know what I am thinking and feeling. I can’t help but ponder how the transition- from guarding my thoughts with a lock and key to sharing my inner and outer story so openly- happened.
For me, it happened through journaling…
I have journaled for years and never realized that all those times I had poured out my feelings onto the pages of my journal , I was planting the seeds for my memoir.
I still have the blue cloth, three-ring notebook that I created for my senior English teacher, Miss Philips back in 1964. The page dividers have pictures depicting the sections: hopes, beliefs, thoughts, ideas with varied colored plastic tabs where the white labels were inserted.
At the time, it seemed like a silly project. What did Miss Philips know? I can still see her, pencil-thin frame, always dressed in some dark-colored–grey, navy blue or black–dowdy dress or suit. Standing so straight by her desk, she never smiled or wore makeup. Her brown hair was pulled back in a tight bun and her wire-rimmed glasses dangled at the end of her nose.
What in the world would I ever do with that silly notebook?
I packed the journal when I went to nursing school and every once in a while, I’d pull it out to glance through the sections. Sometimes, I’d even jot a few thoughts down. For the most part, it lay dormant.
But, as I began my career and started out on my path to contribute to society as an adult, the pages started beckoning me.
It turned out that I did plenty with Miss Philips’s notebook and if I had the chance, I would thank her for the gift of that handmade journal which provided me with a framework to fill in my life story. What started out as an assumption in my adolescent mind that my out-of-touch teacher was wasting my time became a slowly evolving admiration for a teacher who made a lasting difference in my life…
She planted a seed that has bloomed over and over again as I have worked my way through my life challenges.
Without realizing it at the time, I was planting the seeds for my life story.
I have journaled through the heartaches of relationship failures, the searing pain of divorce, the loneliness and exhaustion of being a single parent, the terror of dealing with an alcoholic son, the heart wrenching losses of my maternal grandmother, Nan and my best friend, Judy, my own diagnosis of cancer and the illness and death of my beloved father.
The seed journal has spawned many spiral notebooks and decorative journals to accommodate my evolving thoughts and feelings; to capture my moments of need, longing, passion, creativity, my life…the moments that will matter in my memoir.
The journal tells its own story.
*The pages sit blank and patient just waiting to receive my words. As the words fall on the page, the emotions get sorted out. There is something about labeling a feeling that helps to put it into perspective.
*The feelings that grip and gouge on the inside take on a different shape on the outside.
*Knowledge is power and when one becomes clear with one’s own feelings, there is a sense of empowerment.
*When I journaled my way through my father’s 11-day illness and death, I found clarity and solace in my own words. In sharing my deepest, heartfelt grief, I received support and love in return.
Journaling has become my pathway to healing and hope and has helped me to recall, relive and reflect upon the moments and times of my life that will make up my memoir.
Thank you Miss Philips for helping me plant the seeds that have yielded a garden of stories for my memoir.
Photo Credit: Nana
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Here is a brief journal entry written in response to a writing prompt at a conference. It that has become a part of my first memoir, now in it’s final edits, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse:
” The lime green satin dress with the rhinestone design on the bodice slips over my gentle curves as I guide it over my head and wiggle it into place. I pull my stockings up each leg and attach them at the top with metal clasps on the girdle I don’t want to wear. But, it makes me feel grown up. I am twelve years old and getting ready for the cotillion at the end of Madame Helina’s ballroom dancing class. I pull my long,brown hair back into ponytail and slide into my patent leather flats, ready for a practice session into the dancing world of my approaching adolescence.”
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On Tuesday evenings in May, I will be conducting an online workshop Journaling as Seed for Memoir for The National Association of Memoir Writers (NAMW):
May 6-27 2014, 4 weeks (Tuesdays) 4PST, 5 MST, 6 CST, 7 EST
$125 for non-members
$110 for members
To write a memoir, you need to mine memories and get in touch the significant events in your life that have shaped you into the person you are today. It is a voyage of self-discovery. Journaling can help plant the seeds for the story you need to tell. It can become a pathway to healing and hope and help you to recall, relive and reflect upon the moments and times of your life that become your story.
What you will learn
- Journaling as a creative process
- The physical and psychological benefits of writing and journaling
- Specific techniques for stimulating creativity
- Methods for organizing a journaling routine
- How to identify vignettes that can be turned into a larger story
- How to identify possible themes of a memoir through your own writing
How it works-From Kathy
We’ll get together for four 60-minute telephone sessions. During each session, I’ll offer a lesson on journaling. Then each of you will have an opportunity to share your own journaling experiences and writing. By exploring your own journal entries, we will build a trusting, mutually supportive atmosphere. Between each session, you will write a brief assignment—a response from a writing prompt- and email them to all the class. Because we will be able to read your pieces on our own, you won’t need to read them aloud. We can use class time to work through issues and offer feedback. At every step during and between classes, I will offer guidance to help you discover the heart of your own story. By the end of the sessions, it is my hope that the vignettes you have gathered through writing prompts may become the seeds for your memoir.
You can sign up here.
How about you? Does journaling help you find your story?
I’d love to hear from you . Please leave your comments below~
Next Week :
Monday, 4/28/14:
Sue William Silverman will be featured in a WOW!Women on Writing Book Tour and Giveaway for her new memoir, The Pat Boone Fan Club with a review and guest post on “Confessions of a Memoirist: My Serial Personalities.”
