Dare We Write About Miracles in Memoir? A Guest Post by Pam Richards

A guest post by Pam Richards/@candletothesun

 

I am happy to feature Memoir Author Pam Richards in this guest post on writing about miracles. In her memoir, Singing from Silence, Pam pays tribute to her friend , Christian musician Rich Mullins and shares a miracle she experienced after his death. Here are my reviews on Amazon and Goodreads.

Have you ever experienced a miracle in your life and then wondered who you could share it with? Would others think you were crazy? But you know that it’s real. As a writer , how would you reveal it in your writing?

Rainbow after the storm/ dreamstimefree
Rainbow after the storm/ dreamstimefree

 

Pam will explore these questions and invite us all to explore our own lives for miracles we may be willing to share.

Memoir Author Pam Richards
Memoir Author Pam Richards

Welcome, Pam!

Which genre would best permit an author to unveil a miracle?

A scientific journal stands to lose professional respectability by flying in the face of the known laws of physics. In the same vein, fictional accounts–unless they fall into the categories of magical realism or fantasy–don’t tend to climb too far out on a limb. Preserving believability through careful attention to realistic detail is normally critical to the author’s intention to make his scenes pop.

Miracles may be well and good, but we fear they undermine the careful crafting an author of fiction relies upon to duplicate reality.

Science is still advancing the boundaries of our knowledge every day, but most of us are much more unfamiliar with the invisible precepts of wave versus particle than we are with more sensibly accessible categories of science like chemistry or gravity.

If not in a memoir, when can we cite a miracle?

Is it such a stretch to consider the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, and John memoirs? In writing about the miracles they saw, of course they risked being called crazy. They saw things we probably never will: events that defy logic. But more things exist than we can experience with our senses. In Rich Mullins’ final interview with podcaster Dick Staub in April of 1997, he noted the failure of logic to cover the vast spectrum of human experience:

“. . . I basically feel like the enlightenment has played itself out. And it’s done all the damage it can possibly do. I mean, I don’t know how much more damage the idea of that logic is supreme is going to do, but I think, you know, we got to the bottom of logic, and-and it doesn’t really cover the material.”

Is logic able to address all things seen and unseen? I think it’s much safer to say there exist many real things that we will never be able to prove through reason and our senses.

I constantly watch the skies as I drive. Often, I see a parhelion. Sometimes called sundogs, these iridescent segments of rainbow flank the sun in the high clouds at a certain latitude from the horizon.

The only time my children see them is when I’m in the car to point them out, and my passengers are always quick to instruct me to keep my eyes on the road. They’ll never be natural sky watchers like my father was. They claim I see sun dogs simply because no one but me looks into the sun.

My father flew weather reconnaissance heading into a typhoon during World War Two, and we always had in common our fascination with the skies. Toward the end of his life, he struggled with dementia. I urgently wanted to share the vision of a parhelion with him. I’d call him when I spotted one, wherever I was, and ask him to look out the window. The sun dog doesn’t last very long. Evanescent, ephemeral, the parhelion holds its short-lived candle to the sun. My father, who wasn’t so steady on his feet, couldn’t get to the right place at the right time to see one. He died before we shared that vision.

I was the one with the blessing–or from another point of view, the burden–of seeing sun dogs. Do I believe they are miraculous? Not really. I know the precise weather patterns that enable them to exist. I know exactly where to find them in the sky, and at what time of day. But I do think it’s fair to use them as a metaphor for miracle. Some people experience them, but most don’t. No matter how well you train yourself to see the parhelion, you may never see one.

Why do I feel compelled to let people know about sun dogs, even when I realize how seldom they are seen?

Because I know how beautiful they are.

They are a symbol of their Maker’s beauty, and along with the gift of enjoying beauty, I believe He gave me the obligation to share it.

Those of us who write memoirs to share the truth of our lives may consider our responsibility to reveal the miracles we have experienced.

If we are letting our readers slip their feet into our shoes and live a part of our life’s journey, how can we deprive them of our most transformative moments?

When we have had a parhelion moment in our lives, how do we address it in our memoirs? Do we hide it behind a cloud of careful compromise to obscure its exceptional—and perhaps questionable—nature, or do we reveal it in full glory?

Do we stifle it with silence, or do we let our writing sing?

Parhelion by Pam Ritchards

Author’s Bio:

Born in 1956, Pamela Richards is an artist by temperament, inclination and training, although she has spent most of her professional career as a sign language interpreter. She has also done sign language illustration, raised three children, and cared for her parents.

She enjoys photography, building websites and making video presentations. She feels led to promoted the work of artists who touch hearts. She gives out of her own creative gifts.

She has spent the past four years as a writer, compiling her memories of her experiences with Rich Mullins, who profoundly influenced her spirituality and concept of creativity.

Pam was compelled to write her memories of Richard after listening to his music again after nearly ten years of trying to push him out of her mind following his death. “I found that denial really does not help us deal with grief,” she states, “and that music offers an immediate portal to memory. But Richard always knew that.” She has learned that those who mourn will not be left uncomforted, and this is what she shares in her writing.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQ7I1QwDJXc]

 Pam can be reached at the following:
Book Giveaway to a random commenter:
Singing From Silence by Pam Richards

 

 

How about you? Have you ever experienced a miracle in your life and if so, how do you feel about sharing it? Let’s talk.

 

We’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~

 

 

Next Week:  Journal to Memoir: Planting the Seeds for Story

 

 

Music Matters in Memoir Writing~A Reflection

Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler

Music is moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, and life to everything…Without music, life would be an error. “Plato, attributed

 

"Listening to Music" Galina Barskaya/dreamstimefree
“Listening to Music” Galina Barskaya/dreamstimefree

 

I have always been amazed at the ability of music to affect my mood, transport me to another time and place and help me connect to my own creative energy.

When I write about the past, I often tune into Pandora radio for whatever decade I may be writing about.

Okay, I’ll admit, I do often sing around the house, too. I usually wake up with a song on my mind and end up giving voice to it until it eventually dissipates as I go about my day. Here’s the deal- I can’t really sing but that doesn’t matter. I  do enjoy belting out the tunes to my audience of Rosie and Max, our Golden Retrievers and to Wayne, my husband who usually just smiles and shakes his head.

Music helps me to connect…

 

Music is a universal language:

The Italian tenor, Andrea Bocelli can sing to me anytime and I’ll understand his language of love. Here he is performing The Prayer with Celine Dion at the 1999 Grammys:

 

 

 

 

 

Music is therapeutic:

Think about the soothing background music played in the dentist’s or doctor’s office to calm you, or the use of music in hospice settings to ease pain and anxiety. Music therapy, also called” expressive therapy” is a part of any helping professions’ role in healing according to Wikipedia.

Power of Music by Louis Gallait. A brother and sister resting before an old tomb. The brother is attempting to comfort his sibling by playing the violin, and she has fallen into a deep sleep, "oblivious of all grief, mental and physical."  Wikipedia/Music Therapy
Power of Music by Louis Gallait. A brother and sister resting before an old tomb. The brother is attempting to comfort his sibling by playing the violin, and she has fallen into a deep sleep, “oblivious of all grief, mental and physical.” Wikipedia/Music Therapy

 

 

 

Music is transformative:

It often transports the singer or musician to an altered state. Have you ever seen American cellist and virtuoso, Yo-Yo Ma in concert and seen the ecstasy on his face when he plays the cello?

 

 

 

 

Music reflects and defines the times:

Social movements are galvanized in the music of the times. Here’s Peter, Paul and Mary at a concert in Japan in 1990 singing Where Have All the Flowers Gone? It speaks to the pain and loss of the young men of my generation, the 1960’s, in the Vietnam War, and fueled the anti-war movement:

 

 

 

 

It is clear to me that music has extraordinary benefits to enhance productivity in life and in writing.

 

When I was thirteen, my parents encouraged me to take piano lessons. Begrudgingly, I’d sit at the upright used piano, pounding the keys, wishing I was doing anything other than that. Eventually, they let me quit, realizing I had no interest. As time went by, I began regretting that decision. For years, I longed to be able to play and dreamed of getting back to it someday.

 

After a trip to Missouri in 2006, when my friend, Mary Sue, sat at her Baby Grand piano in her Victorian sitting room with an upright piano and an organ, and mesmerized me with her piano music, I made a decision.

 

I would play the piano again.

 

As soon as I returned home, I went shopping for a used piano and bought an upright Kimball the same day. Soon after, I signed up for piano lessons which I took regularly from a lovely teacher, Sarah,for six years.

 

Now, let me be clear. I do not aspire to be a concert pianist nor do I expect to be able to play by ear as Mary Sue does. But I can read music and I can play for myself so that I recognize the tune. If I’m on a roll, others who happen to be in the vicinity recognize it too.

 

I play the piano for the sheer enjoyment of letting my fingers dance across the keys in a way that transports me and gets me in rhythm with myself and my creative energies.

 

When my friend, Marilyn, was dying of ovarian cancer in Wisconsin in 2009, I’d sit at the piano and play, visualizing myself connecting with her spirit. I couldn’t be there with her in person but I could play music in her honor. It was my gift for her and to myself.

 

On my parent’s 65th wedding anniversary in 2008 when I couldn’t be with them, I played Let Me Call You Sweetheart over the phone.
I stopped playing about a year ago listing a litany of excuses…focus on writing, play with the grand kids, do the laundry. I figured I’d lost my music…

 

So I sat down the other day and began playing some familiar tunes-Beauty and the Beast, Ava Marie, When Irish Eyes Are Smiling and guess what?

 

I got my music back.

My piano
My piano

 

I need to practice but as I finish the first revision of my memoir, it’s the least I can do to connect with my own rhythms so that what flows onto the keyboard will spill over onto the pages helping me to  connect, heal, transform and define the times and my story through my writing.

 

 

For me, music does matter in memoir writing.

 

 

 

How about you? Do you have ways to tap into your own creative energies? How do you get in rhythm?

 

 

I’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~

 

 

 

This week:  I’m also over at Cate Russell-Cole’s blog, CommuniCATE with a guest post; “Confessions of a Memoir Writer”

 

 

Next Week: Memoir Author Pam Richards will discuss “Dare We Write About Miracles in Memoir?” Pam will be giving away a copy of her memoir, Singing From Silence to a commenter who will be selected in a random drawing.

 

The Power of Hope: A Guest Post by Ted Cole

Guest post by Ted Cole/@crossrdofchange

Once you choose hope, anything’s possible” – Christopher Reeve

“Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark” – George Iles

I am delighted to feature Wellness Coach and Writer, Ted Cole to expand on one of my favorite topics, the power of hope. Ted and I met through his wife Cate Russell-Cole when Ted emailed me with his thoughts on how hope has worked in his life. He has some interesting thoughts about how hope is  a choice we all have.

Welcome, Ted!

 

Wellness Coach and Writer Ted Cole
Wellness Coach and Writer Ted Cole

 The Power of Hope

My interest in hope started just after surviving a series of life challenges. These challenges came in quick succession, barely allowing me to take a breath in between. I became unemployed, when my job of 25 years disappeared through downsizing; then divorced after a 25 year marriage. The challenges progressed into a full-blown life crisis, where I questioned whether or not I was getting what I wanted from life. Then the truth hit me… I really didn’t know what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Without any life purpose, I had no direction and a feeling of helplessness and hopelessness pursued. I was truly drowning in despair. I became clinically depressed and stressed, which resulted in a serious of related medical problems. I was hanging on by a thread. 

 

How I could have survived all of this? That is where “the power of hope” comes in.  I remember sitting under a tree in a park reading a self-help book and desperately seeking a solution. One of the chapters was on change. In essence, the message was that we are the product of the accumulated changes in our lives. Now, surprisingly that chapter did not mention something which came quite intuitively to me. That being, that if we are the product of our changes, then it must follow that we are the product of our choices. That became the spark I needed to move forward. It became evident that hope would not just happen, instead it had to be as a result of a conscious choice. I could choose to do nothing and continue down the spiral of despair, or I could choose to make choices which would lead me along a path of becoming more hopeful.

 

In my despair and depression, reality became quite surreal. That seemed to make me gravitate towards writing as a means of recording what was happening. This was a journal of sorts, a way of slowing down and giving more meaning to what was happening, thereby making it real. This grounded me, which led to me to ponder my real purpose in life. With a lot of soul-searching I discovered that my purpose is helping others who have been drawn off-course by events in their lives. This eventually led me to my pursuit of Intentional Living. I realized how close I had been to being spiritually bankrupt and I got back to my Christian roots, which was the missing link in the chain.  

 

Looking back, my progression was that I first viewed hope as a separate entity (this was a symptom of my spiritual bankruptcy); which then developed into my belief that hope and faith were intertwined (my faith rediscovered). However, a more recent revelation occurred to me, which was that hope could only come from a foundation of faith.

 

Faith and Hope compliment each other and work together as “the power of hope.”

 

After a lot of research as to how other people define hope, I have come to the conclusion that hope, like faith, love, compassion, joy and happiness, is unique to each person.

 

Each of us defines what hope is in our own context, and the power that can be derived from it. 

 

The following is my summation of lessons learned about the power of hope and faith:

1    Faith is the foundation of hope. Without faith as the foundation, hope becomes empty and false.

2    Faith provides the confidence and assurance of what we are hoping for.

3    Without faith and hope you cannot move forward with your life’s purpose.

4    Faith is the belief that the unseen will happen, hope is the energy we put into nurturing it.

5    Transforming Purpose and Hope into fulfillment takes a high degree of Determination and courage  (I call this PHD – there will be more on PHD on my blog).

6   Excuses do not support a path to hope, only action will pave that path. I personally have to be actively participating, or at least influencing an outcome, to remain hopeful.

7   Hope, like acts of encouragement, joy, love and kindness, are all magical gifts which we can give in abundance; never having to worry about depleting their stores.

8  The power of hope thrives when we joyfully embrace it and are truly thankful for it.

Hope Base Photo Carolyn conner/Flickr Creative Commons
Hope Base Photo Carolyn Conner/Flickr Creative Commons

 

Hope is the flame on the candle of faith. The flame of hope can flicker and dim, but it can never be extinguished by life’s challenges, as long as we maintain our foundation of faith.

May your flame of hope shine brightly, to help light the path for others.

Ted Cole is a Certified Wellness Educator, a Dale Carnegie member and agraduate of Context International’s Pursuit of Excellence series. He has been involved with change management and it’s processes within his corporate career where he found that many of the issues which occur within commercial ventures, are similar to those which occur within an individual’s life.

 

Having dealt with many changes in his own life, Ted began to formulate his own philosophy of change on a deeper level. From there he started to research and develop the “Crossroads of Change” Course. He has also always had an avid interest in spirituality and self-development. The mind-body connection and hope are themes that have always been an integral part of his philosophy and developmental work.

 

Crossroads of Change originally started as a book about hope; which he was co-writing with his wife, Cate Russel-Cole. Realising that the whole process of achieving greater wellness was much larger than simply focussing on hope, the book concept grew into what it is today.

 

Ted, originally a resident of Canada, now lives with his wife in Brisbane, Australia.

 

 

Thank you ,Ted, for sharing your personal journey of how the power of hope has worked in your life. I especially appreciate the idea that hope is a choice, rooted in faith. I also agree that hope is unique to each person.

 

How about you?  We may all have a different way of  finding hope in our lives. How has the power of hope worked for you? We’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~

 

Next Week:   “Music Matters in Memoir Writing: A Reflection”

Hope Matters: A Memoir Moment

Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler

“Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.” Vaclav Havel, Disturbing the Peace.

Photo Credit: "Sunset" from dreamstimefree
Photo Credit: “Sunset” from dreamstimefree

Since the power of hope through faith is a main theme in my memoir-in-progress, I want to share some moments that have shaped my life and my story.

Hope can be as simple as wishing for a sunny day so you can go on a picnic or as complex as hoping for a peaceful transition in death.

As a registered nurse, I have had the privilege of caring for many dying patients over the years and have been witness to the amazing power of hope, even in death.

As long as we live, we hope.

Let me tell you about a patient I had when I was a young nurse and what he taught me about hope. His name was Mr. Jacobs.

Sacred Ground

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The dimly-lit lamp cast a shadow of itself on the wall as I approached my silent patient who had curled up in a fetal position, facing the stark white wall. The sadness was palpable. That twenty-nine year-old man was dying of colon cancer. I hesitated at the door to ponder how a young man, only six years older than I could be dying in that bed, his scared wife immersed in her own grief in the waiting room? What in the world could I say or do beyond my routine nursing duties? It was easy to take a blood pressure or administer a medication, but that young man was dying and I was his nurse. Twinges of guilt gnawed at me as I pondered my approach. Not too long ago, that young man was leading a normal life; going to work and coming home to play with his kids. I visualized him dancing at his wedding, laughing and hugging his wife. I thought of my own normal life and how I would leave work and return to a daily routine of doing laundry and going grocery shopping. Maybe I’d go for a walk or visit my friend, Maureen and we’d talk about what we were going to wear to the next party or we’d catch up on the latest gossip. All those things that seemed so important a few hours ago suddenly seemed so trivial and shallow.

As I reluctantly walked to his bedside, I heard his slow, rhythmic breathing, his dinner tray untouched on his bedside stand

“Mr Jacobs, I’ll be your nurse this evening. My name is Kathy.”

Slowly nodding in response, he opened his eyes and turned toward me as I stood by his bed. His hair was thick and black and his skin was yellow from the liver damage. He must have been a very handsome man during his healthy days.

Such dark, sad eyes.

“Is there anything you need right now?” My words echoed in my own ears and sounded so trite to me.

He hesitated, “My wife…she’s in the waiting room. She’s having a real hard time” His eyes welled up with tears.

I sat by his bed and touched his arm in response as we sat in silence for a few moments,

“Do you want me to bring her in so you can have some time together?”

“Yeah, but I don’t know what I’ll say to her”

“Hard to find the words at a time like this?”

”Yeah”, nodding his head

“Why don’t you just tell her what you are feeling?”

He slowly nodded once in response.

“I’ll go get her.” I stood up to leave, not having any idea what I would say.

As I walked into the waiting room, I saw his pretty young wife sitting quietly, staring blankly out the window. It was dark and the raindrops glistened as they tapped in rapid succession against the pane. Her blonde page-boy hair was neatly combed, every hair in place. She was trying so hard to hold it all together.

“Mrs Jacobs, my name is Kathy. I’m your husband’s nurse,” I said, reaching out my hand to hers.

“She put her head in her hands and began sobbing, “I can’t lose him. We have two young children at home. I just don’t know what I’m going to do without him”, streaks of mascara forming tracks on her cheeks.

I sat down next to her while she cried, knowing I could not tell her it would be alright, like I wanted to be able to tell her. I just listened.

After a few minutes, she stopped crying, wiped her face and tried to catch her breath

“Do you want to come see your husband now? I will go in with you”

She nodded as she stood up, straightening her red pleated plaid skirt and white pullover.

As we paused in the waiting room doorway, I took her hand and looked directly into her soft blue eyes,“It’s OK to tell your husband how you feel, to say whatever you need to say to him.”

We walked slowly to his room.

“Mr Jacobs, your wife is here.” I announced from his doorway

He was still in a fetal position facing the wall when I guided her over to the other side of the bed to face him.

“You two have some time together and tell each other whatever you need to.”

I left the room and said a silent prayer that they would say what they needed to say to one another. I had to catch up with the rest of my assignment, picking up trays, doing blood pressures and giving medications.

After about 20 minutes, when I went to his room to check on him, she was sitting on his bed, holding his hand in hers and they were both smiling.

She stood up, gave him a kiss and said she was ready to leave.

“It was good. Thank you for helping me walk into that room”, she hugged me as my eyes welled up with tears.

Such sacred ground.

The privilege of helping that young couple share and smile through their pain left me in awe. I could hear my own heart beating as I lingered until she reached the elevator. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I took a deep breath, humbled and changed by this encounter. Taking my assignment sheet out of my pocket, I reviewed the list of tasks and started walking toward Room 332 to give my next patient a backrub, very aware that no textbook or classroom could ever touch me like that.

It would be the first of many humbling and profound moments I would share with people in my care. These people would become my greatest teachers.

Hope Matters, no matter what…

How about you? How does hope work in your life?

 

Next week: Wellness Coach and Writer, Ted Cole will do a guest post on “The Power of Hope”

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