Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
” Silence is creativity’s best friend, and solitude is refreshment for our souls.” Naomi Judd
Author’s Note: This post is an adaptation of an interview that was originally presented on Dawn Herring’s blog, Your Authentic Refreshment on 6/28/13
You met writer and #JournalChat host Dawn Herring in her guest post last week, “Do You Recognize Your Authentic Voice?”.
Welcome back , Dawn!
Dawn is hosting a series on “My Authentic Refreshment” on her blog.
She defines Authentic Refreshment as “engaging in refreshment that is authentic to your personality, preferences, purpose in life, the kind that enables you to appreciate yourself, validate emotions and feelings, and nurture your soul.”
When Dawn asked to interview me about my “authentic refreshment”, I looked forward to taking the time from my busy schedule to explore the ways I incorporate authentic refreshment into my life.
Here’s what I said:
How I authentically refresh:
The three things that come to mind when I think about what charges my batteries, adds positive energy, inspires and helps me keep a fresh perspective are: Prayer, Journaling and Positive Visualization.
This excerpt from my second work-in-progress memoir Hope Matters: A Memoir of Faith, reveals my prayer roots and ways I have used positive visualization:
As a “cradle Catholic” I was brought up with all the traditions and ceremonies of the Roman Catholic faith; so prayer has always been a part of my life. My faith slowly matured from a religion to a spiritual journey where I felt God’s presence in a personal way. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, Stage Four Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in 1996 that I sought and found an even deeper relationship with God that sustains me in my times of trial. Journaling and positive visualization also added to my authentic refreshment in a meaningful way, especially during this cancer journey.
“On December 19, 1996, worsening shortness of breath and a dry cough had precipitated an early morning trip to the emergency room. As I was pacing near my stretcher, waiting
for the results of the CT scan of my chest, realizing something serious was happening, I cried out in desperation,
‘Dear God, please give me the strength to do whatever it is I need to do for this is the battle of my life and for my life.
A peace beyond understanding flowed over me and stayed with me throughout my eventual diagnosis of Stage Four Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and my two-year treatment course which included chemotherapy, radiation and a peripheral-stem cell transplant. I allowed myself to be open to accepting help from others–meals, gifts, prayers. God had answered my plea to “do whatever I need to do” to fight the battle.”
Throughout my treatment, I journaled my feelings and worked on positive visualizations. On March 17, 1998–Ash Wednesday–the night before being admitted to New England Medical Center in Boston for a peripheral stem-cell transplant, I wrote a list of twelve positive visualizations: attend my friend’s wedding in May, visit my friends in Wisconsin and Missouri during the summer dance at my niece’s wedding with hair in October, etc. I even leafed through an LL Bean catalogue and ordered out an outfit–denim shorts and a gingham blouse in my normal size–that I visualized wearing in the summer.
And every single visualization came true.
Here’s the specific process I use to prepare for effective positive visualization:
Finding a quiet, distraction-free space and time to think and journal, playing soothing background music to get in the mood, taking a hot bath in a darkened bathroom with a lit candle, prayer time and playing the piano.
A list I created and visualized during my illness:
My anxiety and sense of vulnerability–fear of the unknown–over traveling to Boston to start the process of my peripheral stem-cell transplant prompted this list. I wrote these visualizations in my journal while sitting in the hotel room the night before my scheduled appointment at the medical center where I was to discuss the details of the procedure with the transplant RN, see the Oncologist who would do a bone marrow biopsy, see the Cardiologist who would make recommendations since previous chemotherapy had damaged my heart. The visualizations helped me to center my thoughts on the positive rather than the myriad of potential negative outcomes. It worked!
The frequency of my authentic refreshment:
Positive visualization, prayer and journaling helped me to tap into positive energy during a time when my prognosis was uncertain. It worked so well that I have made it a part of my daily routine. I try to journal daily, even if it is jotting a few thoughts down, but I usually pick up my journal when I need to reflect on my feelings or reactions to something that has happened.
My preference for refreshing– solitude versus sharing with a group:
Often times positive visualization, prayer and journaling are solitary activities, but any of these can be shared when it feels right. I did have an experience while undergoing chemotherapy that steered me away from sharing temporarily. I had attended one meeting of a cancer support group facilitated by the staff at the cancer treatment center. My expectation was that I might not feel so alone if I talked with other cancer patients. The exact opposite happened. I felt dragged down by the negative energy and pessimism in the group. I wanted to focus my limited energies on the hope of survival not the despair of the diagnosis. I never went back.
Ways I enjoy and sometimes experience surprising benefits of my authentic refreshment:
All three authentic refreshment activities I have engaged in have grounded me by offering self-awareness, solace and clarity. Sometimes I have been surprised by an insight or recognition of a pattern. Often it has helped me sort out and frame my thoughts. And we are what we say we are, even if we have to “fake it til we make it” initially!
Engagement provides me with validation of emotions and feelings:
My authentic refreshment provides a safe and sacred place to pour out my deepest feelings and needs.I do not need to worry what others may think or deal with their responses. I can feel free to unload it on the page. Then when I read it back, it may take on a different shape than when it was grinding away inside me. Somehow labeling a feeling feels validating and empowering.
When I can identify what I’m feeling, I can decide on actions I may need to take.
Nourishment of the soul is also a benefit:
These activities help me to get in touch with myself. I am taking time out of a busy day to pay attention to what I am thinking and feeling. I am honoring myself as I would honor a best friend or someone I love. This helps me get in touch with what I need to nourish my own soul–reinforcing healthy boundaries, helping me embrace my unique humanness, and helping me stay connected to what matters most.
How my authentic refreshment personally empowers me:
By reaffirming my values and beliefs, I can act with more confidence. By being clear on my own feelings and boundaries, I can offer the same to others–allow for differences and respect each other’s differences. It reminds me of a quote (author unknown), “You can’t meet the needs of others if your own needs aren’t met.”
A final word for others looking for their authentic refreshment:
Learn to trust your feelings. Stop, listen and take time every day to get in touch with yourself and your needs. Find a way that works for you to learn about yourself and honor your own story.
How about you? Have you found your authentic refreshment in your life?
I’d love to hear from you. The comment malfunction has been fixed so please leave your comments below
Announcement: Congratulations, Mary Beth Coudal! Your name was selected in a random drawing of commenters to receive Dawn’s e-book, The Birthday Wall: Create a Collage to Celebrate Your Child.
Wednesday, July 17: I will be posting a review of Donald Dempsey’s riveting new memoir, Betty’s Child as part of a Wow! Women on Writing Book Tour. A copy of the memoir will be given to a commenter whose name will be selected in a random drawing of commenters.