“Friendship is the source of the greatest pleasures, and without friends even the most agreeable pursuits become tedious.”- St. Thomas Aquinas
In my upcoming memoir, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse, I show how my girlfriends give me strength and help me move forward in my life.
Photo Credit: dreamstimefree
Martha tries to convince me not to marry when she hears my doubts. Sharon coaxes me up the stairs and out the door the day I leave my first husband because of his drinking. Jean becomes a loving caretaker of my children as I find my way as a single parent. Judy supports me before, during and after both my divorces, Eileen opens my eyes to God’s presence in my life, Rosemary, Linda and Marilyn embrace us as family when we move to Wisconsin. Mary Sue and her family become my family away from my family in Missouri. Meredith and Denise rally around me when I escape from my second husband for fear of physical abuse…
These are a few of many who stood by me—steady and true—and tried to counsel and guide me.
I had to find my own way in my own time but in the words of a famous Beatles’ tune:
“I get by with a little help from my friends”
It is with gratitude and love that I pay tribute through my story to the presence of all my girlfriends in my life.
Judy, 1987
Excerpt from Chapter 31: Moving On , 1977
One day Judy stopped to see me on her way home from work. “Just wanted to stop by before I go home,” she said, standing in my kitchen. “How are you?”
She had worked all day teaching nursing classes at the university, yet her short, light-brown hair softly framed her face. Her tailored black skirt and crisp white blouse with the collar that stood up in the back of her neck made her look like she was just getting ready to do a presentation at a board meeting. Her dark-rimmed glasses gave her an air of authority though her ready smile and crystal-blue eyes telegraphed genuine concern. The simple silver choker and matching round silver earrings completed the picture.“I look a mess, Judy,” I said, wiping my forehead with the back of one of my dirty hands. My hair was falling in my eyes; I wore no make-up and a wrinkled T-shirt and jeans. Deeply entrenched in work-mode, I was taking down my storm windows in the dining room and replacing them with screens, a dreaded task due to the deteriorating condition of the windows and the screens.
“You know, I could never do what you do; take care of two kids, the house, change windows, a job, all alone like you do,” she said. “I really give you credit. You are much stronger than you realize.”
“I never thought of myself as the strong one, Judy,” I responded, blowing the hair out of my eyes while feeling surprised and yet honored by her declaration.
“Well, you are,” she said, then put her hand on the doorknob to leave. “Gotta go. I just wanted to make sure you were all right.”
“Thanks for stopping by,” I said. “I’m fine. I’ll get by with a little help from my friends.”
She turned and paused at the doorway then walked over to me with outstretched arms.
“You’re an inspiration to me,” she said, hugging me. “Take care. I’ll see you soon.”
***
Girlfriends Cathy, Jean, Sharon and Eileen, 2001
Mary Sue, 2004Meredith and Denise. 2004
How about you? What kind of girlfriend stories do you have to share?
I’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~
Next Week:
Monday, 7/7/14: “Interview with Artis Henderson:How to Transform Grief into Story by Dorit Sasson, author and radio host of ‘Giving Voice to Your Story.'”
“Time and trouble will tame an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force.” ~Dorothy L. Sayers
How often do you find yourself thinking “I cannot fulfill my dreams because I’m getting older and past my prime”?
Enter Debra Eve who blogs at LaterBloomer about making the most of your life after 50. Debra has “always been intrigued by people who embrace art and adventure later in life. Once a month, she profiles a late-blooming artist, athlete, explorer or writer.” This week, we meet Olga and the lessons she provides for us as memoir writers. Debra and I met through my friend and colleague Janet Givens. That’s the magic of the Web. Thank you, Janet!
Welcome, Debra~
Author Debra Eve
What a Nonagenarian Javelin Thrower Can Teach Us about Writing Memoir
Olga Kotelko is a 95-year-old track and field prodigy.
She competes in eleven sports—long jump, high jump, triple jump, shot put, discus, javelin, hammer throw, 100-meter, 200-meter and 400-meter sprints, and the 4 x 100-meter relay.
She holds more than 30 world records and has won more than 750 gold medals in her age category.
At the 2009 World Masters Athletics Championships in Finland, Olga threw a javelin almost twenty feet farther than her closest competitor.
Photo Credit: iStockphoto
Why is Olga a prodigy? Because she didn’t find her talent for track and field until age 77. And she’s not alone—many Masters Athletes over age 70 start late.
I write about adult late-bloomers (being one myself), but Olga has inspired me to rethink the whole idea. We reserve the word prodigy for the young. But it has much wider meaning.
My favorite definition, from the Oxford English Dictionary, is “an amazing or unusual thing, especially one out of the ordinary course of nature.” Anyone can be a prodigy at any age.And memoir writers, especially, deviate from the ordinary course of nature.
In his book What Makes Olga Run?, Bruce Grierson describes Olga’s ordinary but remarkable life. She was born on a farm in Saskatchewan, one of eleven children. She routinely milked cows at dawn, walked three miles to school, and scrubbed fifteen sets of clothes on a washboard. At age 22, she began teaching grades one through ten in a one-room schoolhouse.
At a dance, she met John, a handsome insurance salesman. They soon married. He turned out to be an alcoholic philanderer. In the 1950s, a woman on the Canadian prairie (or anywhere) didn’t just up and leave her husband. Olga stayed for a decade, until, in a drunken rage, John put a knife to her throat.
She fled into the night with her 8-year-old daughter, pregnant with her second child. They jumped a train to Vancouver and ended up at her sister’s doorstep. “As far as I knew,” Olga recalls, “I was the first single mom in the history of the world.”
She lived with her sister for a few years, found a factory job, and studied at night for a teaching credential. She taught school for the next 34 years. When she retired, she played slow-pitch softball, but grew bored. Track and field offered a bigger running-and-throwing challenge.
So at age 77, Olga went looking for a coach.
Several universities have tried to discover Olga’s secret. She’s been stuck with needles, hooked up to electrodes, run over on virtual reality highways.
The studies confirm that something has slowed Olga’s aging process, yet they can’t quite finger what. If exercise is “driving the bus,” as Bruce Grierson puts it, attitude must be the onboard navigator.
Since the publication of What Makes Olga Run?, Olga has become a media darling and a bit of a trickster—that advanced and uncontrollable old woman Dorothy Sayers so admires. When asked, “What’s your secret?” she gives a different answer every time:
“I don’t allow people to have a negative effect on me.”
“I have a little bit of scotch now and then.”
“Enjoy life!”
After following Olga for four years, Bruce Grierson thinks he has figured it out:
Keep moving. Create routines (but sometimes break them). Believe in something. Lighten up. Begin now.
These strategies can also apply to writing, especially memoir writing:
1. Keep Moving. Any block, creative or otherwise, can be solved with movement. When we move, our bodies and brains become dance partners. Take a walk outside, let your hand flow across a piece of paper, do one then the other—just keep moving.
2. Create Routines (But Sometimes Break Them). Our bodies crave routine. It frees our minds for storytelling and problem-solving. But if we occasionally break routine, we jolt our bodies and brains out of lazy shortcuts and force them to adapt. How can you apply this idea to your writing style and schedule?
3. Believe in Something. It doesn’t matter what. Olga is devoutly religious, but she also believes in the wonders of massage and reflexology. As psychologist James Fowler notes, belief is a trait marked by “the tendency to embrace puzzles, to see life’s dark spots as necessary tasks.”
4. Lighten Up. What did I mean by “memoir writers deviate from the ordinary course of nature”? If your life stays the course, you won’t write a memoir. As some point, you must navigate a deep, dark sea of stress, like Olga fleeing across a continent at night. Your memoir will arise from its depths. But stress hides in muscle and in memory. Self-care and exercise can help you “lighten up” and write through it.
5. Begin Now. Here’s Bruce Grierson’s observation about boomers: “We’re rested, we’re restless, we’re ready.” A perfect prescription for writing memoir.
At the risk of sounding cliché, it’s never too late to become a prodigy, an amazing unusual thing out of the ordinary course of nature, an advanced and uncontrollable old woman (or man). Why even try?
As Olga Kotelko says, “To inspire, that’s the name of the game.” And of course, she walks her talk.
At 95, she just finished her memoir.
***
Thank you for introducing us to Olga and her remarkable story, Debra. Olga, you are a role model and inspiration for all of us. You show us with style and grace how age is in our mind. It’s never too late to fulfill our dreams. Thank you!
Bio:
Debra Eve is a nonfiction writer who blogs about creativity and positive aging at Later Bloomer. You can find her most popular essays on Kindle. She also holds an MA in Anthropology from UCLA, where she was the last assistant to archaeologist Marija Gimbutas, a colleague of Joseph Campbell. She helped bring Dr. Gimbutas’s final book, The Living Goddesses, to print. She is also the assistant managing editor of the online literary journal, Compose.
Debra’s current work-in-progress explores the intersection of archaeology and storytelling. She lives in Los Angeles with her British husband and two 25 lb Maine Coon cats.
” Ignorant people think it’s the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain’t so; it’s the sickening grammar they use.”-Mark Twain
As we all know, grammar and punctuation can make or break a story. The way I see it, any writer can benefit from getting back to the basics.
I am pleased to feature Nikolas Baron from the Grammarly Marketing team to talk about basic punctuation. Nick says,
“Grammarly is one of the best websites to learn punctuation and grammar because of their teaching tools and grammar check. The grammar check especially helps to correct your most common errors and teach you how to avoid them. Always remember that even as a beginning writer, using a grammar check, monitoring punctuation, and cleaning up your syntax pays off in the end.”
Welcome Nick!
Nikolas Baron
Basic Punctuation Every Beginning Writer Needs to Know
Those who don’t write think many good writers just sit down at a computer and compose perfect prose. They presume the ideas flow freely and the punctuation and grammar just come naturally without any work. As someone who writes for a living and frequently researches writing techniques, I can tell you that becoming well-versed in English grammar and punctuation is hard work. When I was in elementary school, poor grammar and punctuation kept me from receiving A’s on essays. Even as a child, I found it extremely frustrating. I made a vow that in middle school I would clean up my English syntax act and get A’s on my essays. From there, I received almost all A’s on my essays and constantly worked to improve my grammar and punctuation.
Beginning writers need to remember that good writing starts with mechanics. You can have all the best short story, article, and book ideas, but if you fail to practice good writing techniques and mechanics, nobody will ever pick up your work.
However, what are the basic pieces of the puzzle that are necessary to write perfect prose?
1) Commas:A comma, at its most basic, is used to indicate a pause in a sentence. When it comes to commas, one of the most important items of information to know is the difference between an independent clause and a dependent clause. An independent clause has a subject and a verb and can stand by itself as a complete sentence. A dependent clause also has a subject and a verb but can’t stand on its own because it is an incomplete sentence. Commas can join independent clauses and dependent clauses, but consider the following as to where they should be used:
Joining two independent clauses by a comma and a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or, for, nor, so)
Using a comma after an introductory phrase, prepositional phrase, or dependent clause
Using a comma to separate items in a series or list
Using a comma between coordinate adjectives
Using a comma after a transitional element (however, therefore, nonetheless, also, otherwise, finally, instead, thus, of course, above all, for example, in other words, as a result, on the other hand, in conclusion, in addition)
Using a comma with quoted words
Using a comma in a date, number, personal title, or separating city and state
2) Semicolons:Like the comma, a semicolon is used to connect independent and dependent clauses and causes a pause in the sentence; however, it is a stronger piece of punctuation. It links closely connected ideas and also separates long clauses that would be confusing using a comma. Consider the following uses when you’re thinking of using a semicolon:
Linking two independent clauses with similar ideas
Linking clauses connected by conjunctive adverbs or transitional phrases to connect closely related ideas (in fact, for example, that is, for instance, in addition, in other words, on the other hand, even so)
Link lists where the items contain commas to avoid confusion between list items or clauses
Joining items in a series that already has commas
3) Colons: A colon is used to point out to the reader that what follows proves, explains, defines, describes, or listselements in the previous sentence. A complete sentence always precedes a colon, but the items after a colon may not always be complete sentences. Consider the following as examples of when to use a colon:
Joining two independent clauses to emphasize the second clause
Using a colon after an independent clause when it is followed by a list, quotation, appositive, or other idea directly related to the independent clause
Using a colon at the end of a letter greeting
4) Em dash and En dash: An en dash is slightly longer than a hyphen and used in place of a hyphen when combining two items. An en dash can also replace “to” between numbers. An em dash can be used in place of a colon, comma, semicolon, or parentheses. It indicates added emphasis, interruption, or an abrupt change of thought. A great place for a detailed explanation of this topic can be found here.
Author’s Bio:
Nikolas discovered his love for the written word in Elementary School, where he started spending his afternoons sprawled across the living room floor devouring one Marc Brown children’s novel after the other and writing short stories about daring pirate adventures. After acquiring some experience in various marketing, business development, and hiring roles at internet startups in a few different countries, he decided to re-unite his professional life with his childhood passions by joining Grammarly’s marketing team in San Francisco. He has the pleasure of being tasked with talking to writers, bloggers, teachers, and others about how they use Grammarly’s online proofreading application to improve their writing. His free time is spent biking, traveling, and reading.
Thanks to all the *generous backers for my Pubslush memoir campaign, I reached my goal and now am listed on the Pubslush website as a “Successful Campaign.” Both an honor and a thrill!
It also has been a lot of hard work, with moments of misgivings and excitement.
Like any writer, I’m used to the hard work of focusing on goals and communicating a message.
And like many others, I tend to shy away from self-promotion activities that scream “Me, Me, Me.” I’ll put it right out there, it feels awkward to ask others for money.
So, how did I go from feeling like a self-promotion-phobic writer to being someone who embraced this campaign and joined in the excitement of its success?
I had to change my focus from asking for money to reaching new readers and spreading the message of my memoir.
“You’re doing a public service when you do what it takes to get the word out about your book.”
Let me share with you what I think influenced the success of my campaign which hopefully will help others:
*Plan your campaign very carefully, using the Pubslush checklist that is provided to you ahead of time. Pubslush is a program that focuses on books and the staff are very supportive and accessible.
*Email family, friends, established followers ahead of time to explain the campaign and provide links to the Pubslush site.
*A short video is advised to introduce yourself and let people see you and hear what you are offering for their contributions.
*Be realistic about the rewards you are offering. You want to make sure you are able to fulfill them.
*A strong social media presence will help you spread your message. It is recommended that you publish something related to the campaign 3-5 times per week across your social media channels.
* At the midpoint in the campaign, you can offer bonus rewards of your choosing to encourage participation in the campaign.
*Engage with your backers throughout the campaign in the form of personal email thank yous.
What are the benefits of the Pubslush campaign?
Through the process of developing my campaign, I was able to hone in on and refine my message of hope, resilience and courage in finding freedom from emotional abuse. It helped me get into the marketing–mode.
As a result, I have been able to promote Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse before its official publication in July.
It helped me to gauge interest in the book and spread the book’s message.
It opened dialogue with readers to allow me to fine tune my message and my book.
The conversation has already started. I have met new readers, engaged in meaningful conversations and extended my reach to my target audience.
Where will the money go?
The $2500 raised will go toward fulfilling the rewards and for promotional materials. I had already spent money on professional editors, writing conferences and author platform resources before I started my campaign.
My parting tip on participating in a Pubslush campaign:
Most of all, have fun.
You are introducing your book and its message to the world and you want others to feel as excited as you do about its success.
Enthusiasm is contagious!
Blog Shouts-Outs to my backers!
Photo credit: Sunflower field by Dreamstimefree.
Dawn Marie Helin, Michael and Patricia DiCerbo, Ceil Drosky, Marian Beaman, Dan Blank, Shirley Showalter, Barbara Techel, Susan Weidener and the Women’s Writing Circle, Victoria Noe, Mindy Rivenburgh, Cyd Madsen, Joan Z. Rough, Sarah Freeman, Linda Hoye, Dick and Lynne Stannard, Justine Schofield, Paula Wozniak, Louise Carlini, Ted and Cate-Russell-Cole, Dorothy Sander, Linda Joy Myers, Madeline Sharples, Dave and Leigh Ann Gilson, Wayne Pooler, Sarah Provost, Lisa Walrath, Ann Boland, Danny VanLeeuwen,Brandon Pease, Gary Pease , Dave and Hattie Gilson, Kathryn Wagoner, Cynthia Morris, Kathryn Pease, Patty Valletta, Mona Schultz, Bianca Pacheco, Paul and Barbara Hebert, John and Mary Sue McCullough, Christina Stark, Jim and Jean DiGiovanni, LaTanya Nelson Davis, Fran Gully, Debra Lobel, Karl Sprague, Sonia Marsh, Pat McKinzie, Clara Bowman-Jahn, Tom Pease Debra Eve, Patty Hall, Karen Leahy and Joe Bunting.
Thank you all for joining me in introducing and spreading the message of Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse!
Photo Credit “People Sharing Unity” uploaded from iStockphoto
How about you? Would you consider participating in a Pubslush Crowdfunding campaign?
I’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments and questions below~
ANNOUNCEMENT: Congratulations to MaryAnna! Your name was selected in a random drawing of commenters to receive a copy of Pamela Koefoed’s memoir, JoyRide: Life, Death and Forgiveness.
Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway - John Wayne
Photo Credit: Free Google Images
So often when we write a memoir, the story develops a life of its own and becomes a part of a larger cause. This is certainly the case for Pamela Koefoed who began advocating for abused children and teaching audiences how to overcome a painful past after publishing her memoir. It is my pleasure to introduce you to Pamela whose memoir Joyride: Life, Death and Forgivenessis a riveting story of hope and overcoming child abuse. Pamela will discuss how writing her memoir helped her to defeat fear and find her mission of helping child abuse survivors. My reviews can be found on Amazon, Goodreads, Shelfari and LibraryThings.
Book Synopsis:
Pamela Koefoed tells the story from the child’s point of view, recalling in vivid detail the events leading up to four house fires, her narrow escape from them, and the conviction of the arsonist. She depicts the heart touching tale of being left alone for weeks with her eleven year old sister and baby brother, and describes how they managed to deter notice from Child Welfare. Pamela and her sister surprise us all by their spunkiness, indomitable joy, and resiliency. Due to their circumstances, they draw on the love they have for each other and rise above the unthinkable to show us all the way to a richer and more meaningful life. If you enjoyed The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls, you’ll loveJoyRide: Life, Death and Forgiveness (from Amazon author page).
Welcome, Pamela!
Memoir Author and Advocate Pamela Koefoed
My Journey of Defeating Fear to Help Others
As a child and into young adulthood, I lived in a place of powerlessness known as “the conspiracy of silence” where painful, unexplainable experiences were never mentioned and where we went on with daily life as if we were a mini version of the idyllic family of the popular sitcom that ran in the late sixties and seventies, the Brady Bunch.
But there was a problem with this way of being—it wasn’t true. My mother wasn’t the Carol Brady, doting sort of parent. In her childrearing, there was little room for mothering and her general philosophy was more in line with the idea that life is a party, so pass another beer. A lifestyle like my mother’s doesn’t allow space for children. Consequently, my childhood was similar in many ways to the thousands of children who are neglected by parents or guardians each year in the United States.
In addition to being a victim to neglect, when I was eight-years-old my mother was arrested and charged as a felon for committing crimes, which put our entire household in grave danger. On four occasions, I fled for my life, twice barely escaping death. To top off all of this craziness, after my mother’s release from a California correctional facility, my nine-year-old sister and I were returned to her care.
Sixteen years ago, the conspiracy of silence that had held me powerless lost its grip and I began sharing snippets of my testimony publicly.
The first time I stood in front of a group to speak about my past is especially memorable. I stood nervously near a podium before a small congregation of fifty to sixty parishioners at the non-denominational church my husband and I attend. Adrenaline rushed through my system, causing my head to feel detached from my body and constricting my vocal chords. I opened my mouth to speak—my voice trembled and my speech was nothing more than thin, wispy breathes. I thought I would throw up, but somehow I managed to be heard and, obviously, I lived through the ordeal.
When we’re afraid and follow our convictions anyway, we’re victorious.
After my initiation into public speaking, there were many more opportunities to speak to groups; for years, I did so with my very being engulfed in anxiety. Eventually, those negative feelings vanished, but it took great perseverance, some faith, hard work and encouragement from family and friends.
In 2009, the executive director of my county’s CASA program, Court Appointed Special Advocates, asked me to run the program, giving me the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of children who have experiences similar in many ways to my own childhood. Initially, the uncertainties and the what if’s hounded me. The stories of maltreated children would confront me. Might I have nightmares? What if I broke into tears in the courtroom while presenting these children’s needs and wishes? How healed am I, really? Am I even qualified?
The greatest enemy,as someone once said, isn’t fear. From time-to-time, everyone feels afraid. It’s coming into agreement with fear and believing the nagging doubts instead of embracing the truth—you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength.
I accepted the position as the director for my county’s CASA program and embraced a new season.Stepping into this role proved to me that the very things I had feared were nothing more than shadows and that advocating for children is an ideal fit. Right next to death, on the list of things we humans are afraid of, comes public speaking, and I think next to this comes writing a survival memoir, which I’m grateful to have completed last year, and next to this would be hearing the stories of children who have had hellish childhoods. All of this sends shivers up our spines, causes labored breathing, our hands to sweat, our stomachs to churn—yikes!
When you’re faced with an opportunity to do good and help others, whether it’s through volunteer work, writing a memoir, or taking a new job, and if fear is hounding you, let me leave you with a little advice from our friend John Wayne, saddle up anyway. The world will be a better place because you cared.
Ministry Klamath Falls
***
Thank you Pamela for sharing your inspirational story of surviving childhood abuse and overcoming fear. You remind us of the power of memoir writing to heal and help us connect with a higher mission. I can’t help but feel your noble work of advocating for children who have been abused is a perfect fit for you!
Author Bio and Contact Information: Pamela Koefoed, originally from Sacramento, California is a child abuse survivor and a daughter of an ex-felon. In addition to writing numerous articles for websites and blogs, she has authored two books. Her latest book is JoyRide: Life, Death and Forgiveness, a Memoir. When not writing, Pamela directs a child advocacy agency program and is a frequent guest speaker on radio shows and at events around the nation. Pamela and her husband have been married for 25 years. They enjoy golden sunsets and coyote serenades from the back deck of their rural home in southern Oregon
JoyRide: Life, Death and Forgiveness is available from the website, http://joyridebook.com, from Amazon, and by requesting it in bookstores.
How about you? Has writing your memoir led you to a higher mission? or helped you to overcome a fear?
Pamela has graciously offered to give away one copy of JoyRide: Life, Death and Forgiveness to a commenter whose name will be selected in a random drawing.
We’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~
Announcement:Congratulations, Tracy Lee Karner! Your name was selected in a random drawing of commenters to receive Nina Amir’s book, The Author Training Manual.
Next week: “What Goes Into a Successful Pubslush Crowdfunding Campaign?”
Day #28 and 97% funded! My Pubslush Crowdfunding Campaign for my memoir, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse ends at midnight on June 11, in 2 more days
Thanks to your generous contributions I am within reach of a successful campaign!
In making a contribution you will help me spread the messages of hope, resilience and courage to those seeking freedom from abuse.
“Success as a writer has always been a matter , in large part, of plain old hard work. But also smart work–knowing what to do and how.”Novelist James Scott Bell, from the Foreword, The Author Training Manual.
I am very pleased to participate in Nina Amir’s WOW, Women on Writing Book Tour for her new book, The Author’s Training Manual. Nina has some very interesting advice about succeeding as an author by following WOOT! I hope you enjoy hearing about this as much as I did.
Author Attitude : What Is It and Why Do I Need It?
In the publishing world, it’s hard to predict what book will succeed. It’s a bit easier to know if an author will achieve success. Maybe one has more writing talent while another has superior ideas. Yet other might be a phenomenal marketer. More than likely, you’ll find that successful authors, much like successful people in almost any industry, have one thing in common: a successful attitude.
Attitude Affects Results
You might have heard the saying, “Your current habits have only helped you achieve your current level of success. To achieve a higher level of success, you must change your habits.” To do that, you need to change not only your behavior but also your underlying attitude.
Your attitude, which is based upon your beliefs, thoughts or ideas about a thing, experience or situation, affects your behavior, or how you choose to act. Your actions then determine your results. Thus, to change your actions you might have to change your corresponding beliefs, thoughts, or ideas.
When it comes to writing a book, if you aren’t achieving the results you want, you must examine your attitude about writing and publishing a book. When you change your attitude, your results will change as well.
That doesn’t mean you don’t still need a good idea and good writing. You do, but your attitude will help you attain your goals in any area as you work toward successful authorship.
For example, if you have the attitude that you can only write when the mood hits, and the mood doesn’t hit often, you won’t get your book written quickly. Your attitude likely is based on beliefs that writers write when inspired. That belief might come from thoughts that you need to wait to feel inspired before you can write well. A more productive thought might be “I get inspired by writing daily on a schedule.” If you take action on that thought, you might find yourself getting inspired and believing that you can write well whenever you sit down at the computer. You may start writing daily and producing inspired results. Your attitude about how and when you write will change.
The same could be true of building author platform, for instance. If your attitude is that you hate author platform building, you won’t spend time on it, or when you do, that time won’t be productive. If you explore the beliefs and thoughts that create your attitude, you might discover some that sound like “It’s a time sink” and “It takes me away from writing.” You could change your attitude to: Platform building helps me succeed as an author, so I embrace this activity and do it willingly and with enthusiasm. Your thoughts would need to change as well, to something like: “I build author platform effectively” (Learn how!) and “Platform building helps the books I write get read.” As you change your thoughts and beliefs, your attitude will change, as will your results.
Author Attitude—The Four Elements
Here are the elements I believe make up a successful “Author Attitude.”
1. Willingness
To succeed as an author generally takes an enormous amount of willingness. To succeed as a self-published author takes even more.
· You must be willing to do whatever it takes.
· You must be willing to do more than just write.
· You must be willing to change.
· You must be willing to learn new things.
· You must be willing to step outside your comfort zone.
· You must be willing to make mistakes
· You must be willing to take risks.
· You must be willing to fail.
· You must be willing to succeed
· You must be willing to play big and be seen.
· You must be willing to get rejected.
· You must be willing to run your own publishing company.
2. Optimism
Studies show that optimists succeed more often than pessimists. Optimists don’t take rejection, criticism and mistakes personally, which helps them avoid getting stuck. Optimistic people approach challenges as opportunities to move closer to their goals. Pessimistic people see them as obstacles, or reasons to quit.
3. Objectivity
Writing and publishing requires the objectivity to see yourself and your work from a different perspective than your own, such as:
· the reader’s perspective
· an editor’s perspective
· a publishing professional’s perspective
When you can do this, you can take the necessary steps to improve your work and make yourself into an attractive publishing partner.
4. Tenacity
Writing a book isn’t easy. It’s often said that the real work of a writer begins after publication when you begin promotion. You must have determination, persistence and perseverance—all elements of tenacity—to get from aspiring to published (and successful) author.
WOOT!
To easily remember the elements of an Author Attitude, I created an acronym: WOOT. According to the Urban Dictionary, the word “woot” originated as a hacker term for root, or administrative, access to a computer. It works well when applied to the topic of attitude because to change your attitude you must access your “computer”—your mind.
These days WOOT is used simply as a term of excitement.
If you and your book succeed by whatever definition you choose you will have reason to shout, “WOOT! WOOT!”
About the Author
Nina Amir, author of How to Blog a Book: Write, Publish, and Promote Your Work One Post at a Time and The Author Training Manual: Develop Marketable Ideas, Craft Books That Sell, Become the Author Publishers Want, and Self-Publish Effectively, transforms writers into inspired, successful authors, authorpreneurs and blogpreneurs. Known as the Inspiration to Creation Coach, she moves her clients from ideas to finished books as well as to careers as authors by helping them combine their passion and purpose so they create products that positively and meaningfully impact the world. A sought-after author, book, blog-to-book, and results coach, some of Nina’s clients have sold 300,000+ copies of their books, landed deals with major publishing houses and created thriving businesses around their books. She writes four blogs, self-published 12 books and founded National Nonfiction Writing Month, aka the Write Nonfiction in November Challenge.
To learn more about Nina, visit www.ninaamir.com. Get a FREE 5-Day Become a Published Author Series from her when you click here.
Title: The Author Training Manual: Develop Marketable Ideas, Craft Books That Sell, Become the Author Publishers Want, and Self-Publish Effectively
Author: Nina Amir
Genre: Writer how-to
Publisher:Writer’s Digest Books
Publication Date: March 18, 2014
Paperback: 248 pages
Synopsis:
Anyone can publish a book and become an “author,” but if you want to become a successful author with a profitable publishing career, you need a clear, step-by-step guide to help you develop book ideas that sell. In The Author Training Manual, expert editor and book coach Nina Amir reveals the exact process successful authors have used to create business plans and proposals for their books and teaches you how to view your ideas through the eyes of acquisitions editors and literary agents.
Whether you write fiction or nonfiction, plan to traditionally publish or self-publish, The Author Training Manual provides you with the tools you need to achieve your goals and become the author publishers want. Inside you’ll find concrete steps, evaluations, sample business plans, in-depth training activities, editor and agent commentaries, and much more–all designed to help you stand out, from the slush pile to the shelf.
Author Training Manual by Nina Amir
Just Thought You Should Know:
The Author Training Manual will also be having a WOW Social Media Tour this summer. On June 30, we’ll be having a review and giveaway of The Author Training Manual on the Muffin. So don’t forget to tell your readers they’ll have another chance to win a copy on June 30.
Now that the time is closing in on pushing that publish button for my memoir, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse, I can share some lessons I’ve learned in the process.
Photo Credit: dreamstimefree
When I think of what has brought me from the desire to write a book to publishing a memoir, I think of the 3 P’s:
Purpose-driven Passion:
The desire to find a story then share it with the world requires every bit of stamina, focus and commitment one can muster. Once I found my story of getting into and out of two emotionally abusive marriages, I was able to make a firm commitment (to myself) to get my story out there. I became connected to my purpose for writing and sharing a message of hope, resilience and courage for those who found themselves in similar circumstances. It is possible to climb out of the abyss of poor decisions and to move on to live life on your own terms. That connection to purpose fueled my passion and kept me moving toward publication. The passion helped me work my way around my self-doubt, my hesitancy to re-live the pain of poor decisions and my concern about what others would think or say. Five years worth of starts and stops and many edits later, I found my story taking shape. Passion for my story drove it forward.
Purpose/flickr creative commons
Patience:
Ah, yes. I would never tell anyone they could write their memoir in six weeks or six months or even six years. I know Augusten Burroughs cranked out his memoir Running with Scissors in two weeks. There are always exceptions, and he is clearly one of them. I have found that it truly is a process and a journey, determined solely by the person who is writing the story. The story I started out writing is not the story I will end up publishing. I didn’t even find that story until I had written reams of vignettes over a three-year peroid, experimented with voice, tense and structure, received substantive feedback from beta readers and professional editors, and killed many of “my darlings” that did not add to the narrative. And I’ll admit, there were times I truly wondered if I would ever really end up publishing the story. I could not rush it. But, if I was patient and committed to writing, I found my story developed nicely and was getting groomed for publication. I had to be patient and let it find its own time.
All I needed to do was write from my heart and the story that needed to be told revealed itself to me.
heart/ flickr creative commons
Perseverance:
Amen to this one. Once I had devoted the time and energy to my memoir, I knew I did not want to give up on it. I had already put in years of work, to say nothing of the emotional upheaval of facing past mistakes and gleaning lessons learned for both myself and my readers. It began to shape itself into a story with a beginning, middle and an end. It had a message and a purpose. I couldn’t let it down. I had to persevere through the doubts, past my inner critic, through the learning curves, some steeper than others, and onward.
Overcome Flickr Creative Commons
Ever Faithful to His Lead will be born very soon—July is the target month. Launch date TBA.
Passion for my story and its purpose, patience to let it unfold as it is meant to and perseverance to power through all the obstacles and challenges of publishing in the 21st century all helped me reach this milestone.
How about you? I’d love to hear what has powered you to reach your goal of publishing. Please leave your comments below~
This Week:
Announcement: Congratulations to Louise Mathewsonfor being the winner of Nancy Sharp’s memoir, Both Sides Now: A True Story of Love, Loss, and Bold Living!
Monday, 06/02/14: I’m over at Susan Weidener’s Women’s Writing Circle blog with a guest post about a theme in my memoir: “Memoir Explores Woman as Caretaker.” Hope you’ll stop by and join in that conversation too.
Thursday, 06/05/14: “Author Attitude : What Is it and Why Do I Need It? WOW Women on Writing Book Tour & Giveaway with Nina Amir.”
Week #4 and 83% funded!
My Pubslush Crowdfunding Campaign for my memoir, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse ends at midnight on June 11.
Thanks to your generous contributions, I’m so close and headed for the home stretch with only 9 more days to go!
By making a contribution you will help spread the messages of hope, resilience and courage to those seeking freedom from abuse.
