Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
Author’s Note: This post was adapted from a previous post from January, 2011.
“When a loved one becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure.” Author Unknown
Single significant events can implant in our psyche and leave a lasting mark. Don’t we all remember where we were and how we felt the day JFK was shot? Or for those who have given birth, the minute details of labor and delivery?
Every year, whenever January 28 comes around, I immediately flash back to that date in 1986.
On January 28,1986, the world watched in horror as the Challenger space shuttle exploded 73 seconds after lifting off from the Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral, Florida. Anyone over the age of thirty-five will remember what they were doing on that day. School children everywhere tuned in that morning to watch the launch of the first schoolteacher and ordinary citizen bound for space, Christa McAuliffe. While this high-tech catastrophe was unfolding on live TV, life was unfolding in living rooms, kitchens and offices around the world; moments in time when life events would forever be connected with the Challenger explosion.
For my mother, Kathryn, it was the moment she asked her mother, my Nan, for forgiveness. She and Nan seemed to have a tentative relationship at times. From my point of view, Nan was a wonderful, loving grandmother, but there were times I would sense from my mother that there was friction between Nan and her children. I never really knew why. Nan had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in November 1985 at the age of 83. She was living with my mother’s sister, my Aunt Rose and my mother was visiting to help care for her. My mother recently shared the following story of that day in January,1986 with me:
“Mama and I were sitting in the living room of my sister Rose’s home watching TV. Mama was in the floral upholstered rocking chair in the corner and I was on the blue Broyhill couch across from her. A Special Report on the Launch of the Challenger Space Shuttle interrupted the Maury Povich show. I looked over at Mama. She looked so frail and thin. Her eyes were sunken in and her skin had turned yellow.
I have to go back home soon and I may not see her alive again, I thought to myself.
In the background, the seven astronauts, one of them a young school teacher from New Hampshire, flashed across the screen, smiling and waving before boarding the Challenger.
I got up from the couch and knelt before Mama as she sat still and quiet in the chair. Holding out my hand, I put her tiny, wrinkled hand in mine and, sobbing, said,
“Mama, will you please forgive me for all the times I may have hurt you or was mean to you?”
Looking surprised, she said,
“Kathryn, you have nothing to apologize for. You have never hurt me.”
I felt her small, weak hand rubbing my shoulder as I sobbed uncontrollably ,my head bobbing in her lap.
We remained in that position for awhile. With my head resting on her lap, I watched the smoke from the space shuttle furl up in the sky out of the corner of my eye. I sat straight up and we both glared in shock at the scene.
The moment of the Challenger explosion was the moment Mama forgave me. “
This memory is precious to me because I realized that my mother allowed me to have a special, loving relationship with my Nan even though she was not able to experience that same special relationship with her, until the end. When Nan died on May 28, 1986, my mother had the peace of forgiveness in her heart.
So on January 28, the anniversary of the Challenger Explosion, I pay tribute to the seven astronauts who sacrificed their lives. I also pay tribute to my Nan who showered me with love my entire life and who showed compassion, love and forgiveness to my mother when she needed it the most,and to my mother for allowing me to have a lifetime of precious memories with my Nan, through her love.
These memories are a treasure.
What memories do you have that you pay tribute to? Do you have memories triggered by historical events?
I‘d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~
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Next Week: Monday 2/03/14: Therapeutic Musician Robin Gaiser will share “How Music Led Me to Memoir Writing.”
