Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
As I close in on publishing my memoir, Ever Faithful to His Lead, I have been making lists of all the people who have helped me reach this milestone—family, friends, writing colleagues. Clearly, I have a host of wonderful people to recognize and thank for helping me achieve this lifelong dream of publishing a book.
I have also been giving serious thought to a dedication page for my memoir.
A few weeks back, while washing dishes, I glanced over at a lone dried long-stemmed red rose in a clear vase. It was a rose from my Aunt Rose’s funeral in April, 2012. The realization came to me like a bolt of lightening and I started crying.
My memoir about my journey away from emotional abuse will be dedicated to my dear Aunt Rose who suffered needlessly for years at the hands of an abusive husband. I never realized the full extent until I sat at her bedside during her final days and she poured out her feelings. She held them in all those years.
Aunt Rose had been an important part of my life story for as long as I can remember. Here’s a glimpse of her from my five -year-old eyes when she created a magical moment that has stayed with me my entire life.
In later years, we spent a lot of time together, going out to lunch or reminiscing in her living room. This is the last time we were out together. It was April,2011, one year before she died of acute leukemia.
It is in tribute to my Aunt Rose who has always there for me with her love, her voice of reason and her fun-loving ways that I dedicate my memoir, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse.
Let me tell you one of the stories she shared on her death bed:
Bittersweet Goodbyes, 2012
Her perfectly coifed, white hair is now straight and sticks out at the crown where her head lays dormant on the pillow. But her clear, engaging blue eyes still draw us in.
She wants to hear the stories I’ve written. She’s heard them many times before. I often sat in her living room and she listened with her heart to the family tales.
When I finish reading the story about the warm summer nights under the peach tree, her crystal blue eyes, now even more prominent on her drawn face, are wide and sparkling. She tells me she remembers and my heart expands in my chest.
Her daughter Michele is sitting across from me. She smiles and recalls a memory of her mom saving money to buy her a prom gown. Mike, her father, would never have approved of this since it was $60. She told him it was $30.
Michele shakes her head and says,” Mom is the strongest woman I know.”
Aunt Rose cringes. The mention of his name still haunts her.
Aunt Rose then starts talking about her three sons, my cousins, being beaten over minor infractions like being five minutes late for dinner or not knowing where their father’s hammer was. She wrinkles her nose and shakes her head as she recalls an incident involving six- year-old Michael and eight-year-old Dean.
“You’re lying,” Mike shouted as Michael and Dean shook their heads from side to side, shooting each other sideway glances.
“No, Daddy.” They shrugged their shoulders and looked at each other, confused and scared.
“He beat them so hard with his belt, they lost their breath.” Aunt Rose said, adding, “ I did everything I could to try to stop him.”
“He glared at me and said ‘Get away or you’ll be next.’ “
Then as if it had just happened, she said, “ When he was done, he walked out into the garage, leaving me with two broken little boys to console.”
“Soon, he returned from the garage.”
“Well look at this,” Mike said, chuckling while holding up the hammer.“Look what I found.”
***
Our family felt the pain of her abuse, though the full extent was not revealed until she poured out these stories as we held vigil.
My heart goes out to Aunt Rose, my cousins and to all women and children who suffer at the hands of an abuser. He left when her fifth child was five months old but the scars remained until the end.
Although the abuse I write about in my memoir is emotional, it still is harmful.
If my memoir helps one person find their inner strength and courage to leave an abusive relationship, then I will feel my mission of increasing abuse awareness and prevention has been achieved.
It really is no surprise that my favorite song is “The Rose.” It reminds me that in the midst of all our sorrows, there is hope for new life and love.
This one’s for you, Aunt Rose. May you find the peace and happiness you deserve and may all your girlhood dreams be fulfilled in Heaven.
How about you? Dedicating a book to someone is a high personal matter. How have you or would you write a dedication page for your book?
I’d love to hear from you.
Please leave your comments below~
Announcement: Congratulations, Barbara Techel! Your name was selected in a random drawing of commenters to receive Cindi McVey’s memoir, To Live in Paradise: Dreams Found and Lost in the Heart of Africa.
This Week:
Monday, 5/18/14: “New Funding Options for Authors”, a guest post interview on Sharon Lippincott’s The Heart and Craft of Lifewriting blog.
Thursday, 5/22/14: “Google+Hangout Interview with Mary C. Gottschalk on Her New Novel, A Fitting Place”
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The 30-day Pubslush Crowdfunding Campaign for my memoir, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse was launched on May 12. Now in its second week, it is 63% closer to its goal. The campaign ends at midnight on June 11.
By making a contribution you will help spread the messages of hope, resilience and courage to those seeking freedom from abuse. Here’s the link to the campaign:
http://pubslush.com/books/id/2076.
If you are unable to make a contribution, I’d love it if you would share this link with others.
Share the hope.
Thank you!