Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Wanda Maxey/@photosue
“If the numbers we see in domestic violence were applied to terrorism or gang violence, the entire country would be up in arms, and it would be the lead story on the news every night.” – Mark Green
I am very pleased to feature Memoir Author Wanda S. Maxey in this guest post. Wanda and I met online and share a common interest in increasing domestic abuse awareness. Her memoir, Love and Abuse on 40 Acres is a vivid reminder of the realities of domestic violence and a testimony to the power of hope in surviving a life-threatening situation. Although Domestic Violence Awareness Month was in October, we wish to extend this awareness to all months in the year.
My reviews can be found on Amazon and Goodreads.
Welcome, Wanda! 
Should I Stay or Should I Go. . .
“Take that illegitimate kid of yours and get out!” Those were the first words I ever remember hearing from Daddy.
I didn’t understand the words, as a four-year old at the time, but I will never forget his anger. Daddy never beat on us kids, he hurt us without using his fists. He acted as if we didn’t exist. He thought kids should be seen and not heard. Other times, he used words. I remember the time I dressed real pretty and modeled for Daddy.
He took a swig from his beer bottle, glanced at me and said, “Hey, Wanda, you look like a movie star.” He laughed. “Yeah, Lassie.Did you comb your hair with an egg beater?” My stomach started hurting again.
Maybe I’d make Daddy happy next time, I thought.
Next time never came. He’d tell my sister, Penny, “Get down on your hands and knees. Now bark like a dog.” Penny would be scared and cry as she knelt and tried to bark. Daddy just laughed.
He was an emotional abuser (anytime someone can hurt you, without even touching you) to all of his kids, but he was a physical abuser to my mom. My two sisters, two brothers and I saw the abuse our mom received from her husband, during our entire childhood. We still live in the aftermath. I used to ask Mom why she didn’t leave him. “No job, no skills, no money, and with all you kids, I don’t have anyplace to go.” She’d say.
Many years ago that was true. People didn’t have available resources like they do today. Now, plenty of woman’s shelters are willing to help, and they’re only a phone call away. I cried along with Mom, after the beatings.
“As soon and I get old enough and get married,” I sobbed, “you can all come live with me.” The day I turned eighteen, I ran off with a man who asked me to marry him on our first date. He turned out to be a man just like Daddy. After being a witness to Mom’s abuse for all those years, I refused to stay. I left him after only three weeks.
A couple of years later I met another man. He told me that if I’d marry him, he would let my mom and all my sister’s and brothers move in with us. I said, “Yes.” Mom finally had a way out. I got married and we all moved into a little two bedroom house, together.
Being raised with an abuser, I still didn’t know the qualities to search for in a decent man. I made wrong choices, as did both of my sister’s. Our entire family suffered for years at the hands of an abuser. We all carry the scars, both inside and out. If Mom had left him sooner, how different all of our lives may have been.
So, if you’re asking yourself if you should stay for the sake of your children? Why not try asking your children?
***
Thank you , Wanda for sharing the face of abuse with us and for showing us how the cycle of abuse can be broken.
Author Bio and Contact Information:
Wanda S Maxey is a Christian, a Writer, and an Author who lives in Michigan. Her passion is trying to help others who have been through abuse, no one has to go through it alone. She was widowed in 2005 after 32 years of marriage to a wonderful man. Two years later, being lonely and desperate, she found a new love on the Internet. After a whirlwind courtship they were married. She soon discovered she had married a sociopath. Her books were written in the hopes of helping others learn about the signs to look for, so as to not be “Hooked,” by one of these predators. “Love and Abuse On 40 Acres,” a true story of hope as the secluded dream retreat with one husband became a widow’s isolated place of terror with the next. “Daddy Never Called Me Princess.” a true story of how five children struggled to find adulthood as they wrestled to escape the control of an abusive man. They called him Daddy.
Social Media:
Website : Living Faith, Loving Laughter, Sharing Hope
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wanda.s.maxey
Facebook author page: https://www.facebook.com/WandaSueMaxey
Twitter:@photosue
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/wandamaxey
Google+: Wanda Maxey
Bloggers: photosue
Pinterest: pinterest.com/wandaswritings
Link to Amazon for ordering
How about You? Have you ever been in an abusive situation? Do you know the signs of an abuser?
Wanda will be giving away one copy of Love and Abuse on 40 Acres to a commenter whose name will be selected in a random drawing.
We’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~
This Week:
I’m also over at Cate Russell-Cole’s CommuniCATE blog with a post : “Releasing the Creative Genius Within.” Hope you’ll stop by there too!
Next Week:
Monday, 11/11: “An Interview with Memoir Author Theo Nestor: Writing is My Drink: A Writer’s Story of Finding Her Voice (and a Guide to How You Can Too).
Friday, 11/15: WOW! Women on Writing Book Tour and Giveaway of Bringing In Finn by Sara Connell: “Miscarriage, Stillbirth , Loss”