A guest post by Barbara Techel @joyfulpaws posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk to let it blossom.” –Anais Nin
I am very happy to feature Memoir Author Barbara Techel again this week. As you may remember, Barbara touched us all with her guest post on “Evolving Spiritually Through the Love of Animals” last August. Barbara has just released Through Frankie’s Eyes: One Woman’s Journey to her Authentic Self and the Dog on Wheels Who Led the Way, a lovely testimony to her genuine love of animals with a focus on Frankie and how she inspired so many. My reviews can be found on Amazon and Goodreads. (Tissue alert: You will fall in love with Frankie.)
Welcome back, Barbara!
The quote by Anais Nin really resonates with me. It reminds me of a time over seven years ago when I could no longer stay in the comfortable place I was. I wanted more. But I was also scared. I didn’t know if I could go outside of my comfort zone—to be vulnerable loomed large in front of me.
As I wrote my memoir, I realized I was beginning a process to open myself to being vulnerable. As I wrote my story, I found myself crying at times as I let the words spill across the page. I also found myself worrying once again what others may think of me when they read my book. Would they disagree? Would they be mad? What would they think?
Each day I’d show up to do the work— and continue the writing. Each day that I did, I felt a small piece of myself heal. I also felt myself beginning to bloom in unimaginable ways. I started to believe in myself. I started to feel more comfortable in my own skin. I felt like I was a flower beginning to slowly open my petals to possibilities.
I was beginning to feel the warm embrace around my heart of finally accepting who I am.
In late May my memoir was written. I had done it! It was now time for the editing stage and fine tuning to begin. I was rejoicing in the fact I had let myself be open to the page and let my feelings wash over many chapters. I was well on my way to releasing my story to the world.
Then something happened that stopped me in my tracks. Someone I loved dearly, core to my story, passed away. I couldn’t even think about pushing my book out into the world. I needed time to grieve.
Something that became very clear to me through this process was that I was once again vulnerable. It never truly leaves us, but comes in waves at different times in our lives. I was feeling vulnerable because of the deep pain and grief I was feeling for my loss. All I wanted to do was swim in the sadness.
I was also feeling unconfident because everything I had planned in regards to when I thought my story would be published was now unknown. Now I didn’t know when my book would find its place in the world. As I moved through the days and weeks, I began to realize I would indeed fulfill my dream of finishing my book. I still didn’t know when, but the confidence I had gained in writing my memoir, gave me a knowing and trust in myself that I would eventually publish it. I believed in my process and I knew I wouldn’t let myself down.
Though the unknown felt vulnerable I called on my faith to carry me through.
That day finally came. It was all Divine timing. My book was now edited, the book cover design done, and layout complete. As I sat holding the finished book in my hand I marveled at the accomplishment. I never felt more ready. Or so I thought.
Once again I faced the feeling I thought I could escape. The feeling of putting yourself out into the world baring your struggles, your feelings, and your heart, made vulnerability appear again. As I asked for endorsements and reviews, I knew I’d have to send my book to each perspective reviewer. Oh, how my fingers trembled as I hit the send button. And then I waited.
I sat in the discomfort of feeling yet again, vulnerable—sometimes for a fleeting moment, but at other times it lingered for days. Then one day I recalled the Anais Nin quote.
The place I was before, afraid to go out of my comfort zone, was actually more painful than the risk I was taking in sharing my story and opening myself up to others.
The best part of being vulnerable is that I realize no matter what anyone else may think or say about my book, I know I did the work. I know I put every bit of my soul into my writing. I know in my heart of hearts I want to inspire others— I want to continue to make a difference.
This is where vulnerability is an amazing beautiful gift. For if we welcome it with open arms, it will take us not only to a new place of healing for ourselves, but quite possibly help someone else to do just the same.
Author’s Bio:
Barbara Techel is a passionate advocate for dogs with Intervertebral Disc Disease (IVDD) and dogs in wheelchairs. She is also passionate about helping others see their challenges in a positive way. After her dachshund, Frankie suffered a spinal injury she was custom-fitted for a wheelchair and Barbara realized the beautiful opportunity she had to spread a positive message that animals with disabilities can and do live quality lives if given a chance.
In her newest book, “Through Frankie’s Eyes” she takes you on a journey that led her to live her own truth and live with more joy, all because of what Frankie was teaching her along the way.
In August 2012 she founded National Walk ‘N Roll Dog Day in memory of Frankie and in honor of all dogs in wheelchairs. She also started the Frankie Wheelchair Fund which helps dogs who need wheelchairs whose families may not be able to afford them, or for dogs in rescue.
She is the award-winning author of the children’s book series “Frankie, the Walk ‘N Roll Dog” which are true, inspirational stories about her paralyzed dachshund. Frankie teaches us that no matter our challenges, we can persevere with a positive attitude. And despite our challenges we can each give back in our own, unique way. Frankie is Wisconsin Pet Hall of Fame Companion Dog.
Barbara’s books have received National Best Book for children’s picturebook, Merial Human-Animal Bond award, Editor’s Choice from Allbooks Review, Indie Excellence finalist and Indie Excellence winner.
Frankie’s story also appears in “Every Dog Has a Gift” by Rachel McPhearson, published by Penguin/Tarcher March 2010 and “Dogs and the Women Who Love Them: Extraordinary True Stories of Love, Healing and Inspiration” by Linda and Allen Anderson published Fall 2010 by New World Library (recommended by Oprah’s O Magazine).
Also featured in Woman’s World magazine, The American Dog, Dog Living magazine, USAToday.com and AOL PawNation.
Barbara can be reached at:
Thank you, Barbara, for showing us how vulnerability can be a gift!
How about you? What has helped you deal with the vulnerability that comes with writing? Do you see it as a gift?
Barbara will give away a free copy of Through Frankie’s Eyes to a random commenter.
We’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~
This Week: I am also still over at Lorenzo’s blog with a guest post, ” Defining Moment: Where Will Your Memoir Begin?” and at Victoria Johnson’s blog with a guest post on “Creative Space”
Next Week: “Why Wild Works: Memoir Writing Tips
