A guest post by Barbara Techel @joyfulpaws posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk to let it blossom.” –Anais Nin
I am very happy to feature Memoir Author Barbara Techel again this week. As you may remember, Barbara touched us all with her guest post on “Evolving Spiritually Through the Love of Animals” last August. Barbara has just released Through Frankie’s Eyes: One Woman’s Journey to her Authentic Self and the Dog on Wheels Who Led the Way, a lovely testimony to her genuine love of animals with a focus on Frankie and how she inspired so many. My reviews can be found on Amazon and Goodreads. (Tissue alert: You will fall in love with Frankie.)
Welcome back, Barbara!
The quote by Anais Nin really resonates with me. It reminds me of a time over seven years ago when I could no longer stay in the comfortable place I was. I wanted more. But I was also scared. I didn’t know if I could go outside of my comfort zone—to be vulnerable loomed large in front of me.
As I wrote my memoir, I realized I was beginning a process to open myself to being vulnerable. As I wrote my story, I found myself crying at times as I let the words spill across the page. I also found myself worrying once again what others may think of me when they read my book. Would they disagree? Would they be mad? What would they think?
Each day I’d show up to do the work— and continue the writing. Each day that I did, I felt a small piece of myself heal. I also felt myself beginning to bloom in unimaginable ways. I started to believe in myself. I started to feel more comfortable in my own skin. I felt like I was a flower beginning to slowly open my petals to possibilities.
I was beginning to feel the warm embrace around my heart of finally accepting who I am.
In late May my memoir was written. I had done it! It was now time for the editing stage and fine tuning to begin. I was rejoicing in the fact I had let myself be open to the page and let my feelings wash over many chapters. I was well on my way to releasing my story to the world.
Then something happened that stopped me in my tracks. Someone I loved dearly, core to my story, passed away. I couldn’t even think about pushing my book out into the world. I needed time to grieve.
Something that became very clear to me through this process was that I was once again vulnerable. It never truly leaves us, but comes in waves at different times in our lives. I was feeling vulnerable because of the deep pain and grief I was feeling for my loss. All I wanted to do was swim in the sadness.
I was also feeling unconfident because everything I had planned in regards to when I thought my story would be published was now unknown. Now I didn’t know when my book would find its place in the world. As I moved through the days and weeks, I began to realize I would indeed fulfill my dream of finishing my book. I still didn’t know when, but the confidence I had gained in writing my memoir, gave me a knowing and trust in myself that I would eventually publish it. I believed in my process and I knew I wouldn’t let myself down.
Though the unknown felt vulnerable I called on my faith to carry me through.
That day finally came. It was all Divine timing. My book was now edited, the book cover design done, and layout complete. As I sat holding the finished book in my hand I marveled at the accomplishment. I never felt more ready. Or so I thought.
Once again I faced the feeling I thought I could escape. The feeling of putting yourself out into the world baring your struggles, your feelings, and your heart, made vulnerability appear again. As I asked for endorsements and reviews, I knew I’d have to send my book to each perspective reviewer. Oh, how my fingers trembled as I hit the send button. And then I waited.
I sat in the discomfort of feeling yet again, vulnerable—sometimes for a fleeting moment, but at other times it lingered for days. Then one day I recalled the Anais Nin quote.
The place I was before, afraid to go out of my comfort zone, was actually more painful than the risk I was taking in sharing my story and opening myself up to others.
The best part of being vulnerable is that I realize no matter what anyone else may think or say about my book, I know I did the work. I know I put every bit of my soul into my writing. I know in my heart of hearts I want to inspire others— I want to continue to make a difference.
This is where vulnerability is an amazing beautiful gift. For if we welcome it with open arms, it will take us not only to a new place of healing for ourselves, but quite possibly help someone else to do just the same.
Author’s Bio:
Barbara Techel is a passionate advocate for dogs with Intervertebral Disc Disease (IVDD) and dogs in wheelchairs. She is also passionate about helping others see their challenges in a positive way. After her dachshund, Frankie suffered a spinal injury she was custom-fitted for a wheelchair and Barbara realized the beautiful opportunity she had to spread a positive message that animals with disabilities can and do live quality lives if given a chance.
In her newest book, “Through Frankie’s Eyes” she takes you on a journey that led her to live her own truth and live with more joy, all because of what Frankie was teaching her along the way.
In August 2012 she founded National Walk ‘N Roll Dog Day in memory of Frankie and in honor of all dogs in wheelchairs. She also started the Frankie Wheelchair Fund which helps dogs who need wheelchairs whose families may not be able to afford them, or for dogs in rescue.
She is the award-winning author of the children’s book series “Frankie, the Walk ‘N Roll Dog” which are true, inspirational stories about her paralyzed dachshund. Frankie teaches us that no matter our challenges, we can persevere with a positive attitude. And despite our challenges we can each give back in our own, unique way. Frankie is Wisconsin Pet Hall of Fame Companion Dog.
Barbara’s books have received National Best Book for children’s picturebook, Merial Human-Animal Bond award, Editor’s Choice from Allbooks Review, Indie Excellence finalist and Indie Excellence winner.
Frankie’s story also appears in “Every Dog Has a Gift” by Rachel McPhearson, published by Penguin/Tarcher March 2010 and “Dogs and the Women Who Love Them: Extraordinary True Stories of Love, Healing and Inspiration” by Linda and Allen Anderson published Fall 2010 by New World Library (recommended by Oprah’s O Magazine).
Also featured in Woman’s World magazine, The American Dog, Dog Living magazine, USAToday.com and AOL PawNation.
Barbara can be reached at:
Thank you, Barbara, for showing us how vulnerability can be a gift!
How about you? What has helped you deal with the vulnerability that comes with writing? Do you see it as a gift?
Barbara will give away a free copy of Through Frankie’s Eyes to a random commenter.
We’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~
This Week: I am also still over at Lorenzo’s blog with a guest post, ” Defining Moment: Where Will Your Memoir Begin?” and at Victoria Johnson’s blog with a guest post on “Creative Space”
Next Week: “Why Wild Works: Memoir Writing Tips
I keep getting msgs that I am spam. lol. Hope not. Just want to say how inspiring this message is for me. I also am afraid of putting myself out there. afraid my son’s will stop loving me when they read how I felt about their dead father.
The quote is the incentive of continuing to write knowing it hurts worse if the story is not told. Thanks for sharing your story.
This is so powerful what you shared, Clarbojahn. I had those same feelings as you, afraid that some people (especially family) would stop loving me because my feelings of things may not line up with theirs.
But you are right, it continues to hurt if you don’t write it. I think what is important also, is maybe there are some things you wouldn’t share with the world, but writing it and getting it out on paper can be the thing that you need, even if you don’t publish it.
I can say this, that being vulnerable has brought me more gifts than I could have even imagined for myself– especially the new friends I’ve met along that way that have helped me on the journey. They are priceless to me and I would not have them had I not opened myself up.
Wishing you the very best in your writing!
Sorry about the spam message, Clar. You’re out of the spam folder and fully approved. That should “clear” you 🙂 So glad Barbara’s post resonated. I think anyone who delves into memoir wonders how their story will impact on others. Barbara inspires us all to take the risk. Thanks so much for stopping by and best wishes on your memoir.
Kathy,
Thank you once again for hosting me on your wonderful blog! When I think about vulnerability and how hard that can be and my comment to Clarbojahn, it makes me think of getting to know you because of opening myself up. If I remained afraid and stuck, I would have never met you through Dan’s course.
There are oodles of examples of others I’ve met because of my writing and my work, and I continue to be so very grateful for each and every person that has helped me share my story.
So again, thank you, Kathy! And I love Max checking out my book. I’m going to “steal” the photo and add it to my special Pinterest board called, “Look Who is Reading Through Frankie’s Eyes.”
Hugs,
Barbara
Barbara, it truly has been a pleasure to get to know you and to feature you in this lovely, heartfelt post. I am so happy we met and enjoy following your inspirational messages. BTW, I have been trying to capture Max with your book ever since you put the call out on your blog! You can’t even imagine what I had to go through to get this picture. I had to bribe him with carrots ( he’s on a diet!)I’m thrilled he’ll be pinned to your board. Thank you for your wonderful post!
Kathy,
Carrot bribing works all the time with my Lab, so I’m glad it worked with Max. Kylie is on a diet too– she has so far lost 12 lbs! Eight more to go. And I was honored to pin him to my Pinterest board where he is now among so many sweet and adorable dogs who have very good taste in memoir books! 🙂 PS: Joie does not like carrots. Frankie did, but Joie wants nothing to do with them. Ha!
Boy, was this post right on target Barbara. As Kathy knows I just published my own memoir and at times I am overcome with that painful anguish of vulnerability. What if no likes it or worse yet if no one reads it? Your post has given me renewed courage to seek out the reviews and to keep reaching out to spread my message in spite of the self-doubt. Thank you for this post…it touched my soul. Thanks, Kathy for bringing me this blog at the right moment when I desperately needed a reaffirming word of encouragement. I had no idea that dogs could suffer from a disc disease. Barbara, I wondered if you faced any disabilities of your own that have made you more empathetic with our little four legged friends?
Hi Pat,I’m so happy Barbara’s post was well-timed for you and agree she has a way of “touching souls.” Congratulations on your own inspirational memoirHome Sweet Hardwood. I am looking forward to featuring you on 4/18! Thanks , as always for stopping by and commenting.
Thank you for stopping by Pat. I understand your angst completely. I still have it now and then, but the more I get ” out there” the more positive feedback I get, which does help.
If you have not yet heard of Dr. Brene Brown and her book ” Daring Greatly” I would encourage you to check her out. She recently did an interview with Oprah talking about her research of twelve years about vulnerability and shame. Vulnerability was always believed my society to be a weakness, but Dr. Brene encourages us to embrace it as a gift. I think she is so right!
I am so glad my post has helped you and I wish you the very best with the release of your memoir. You can do it! You will touch lives.
And to answer your question, no I have not faced any disabilities. But here is what I can tell you in regards to what I write about in my new book. I think often, many of us, especially women, suffer from lack of self confidence, vulnerability, shame around things in our lives, etc. While those things may seem ordinary and ” normal” when they stop us living our best life then to me that is somewhat of a disability– as you then don’t live a fulfilled life. Frankie was pivotal in helping me overcome and move through these feelings and issues.
Also, I’ve just always had a deep love for animals and I believe this was God’s way of helping me heal and move forward in my life.
Thank you for that lovely Anais Nin quote. Her way with words sets the bar somewhere above my eyebrows! Fortunately quoting amazing writers and thinkers is often more effective than saying the same thing in our own words.
The post is great too, full of inspiration and hope that we can all pry loose those fingers of fear that grip our hearts at times. Best wishes for all success with your book.
Sharon,
you really made me laugh when you said Anais Nin’s words “set the bar somewhere above my eyebrows!”
I agree, it is hard to sometimes adequately express how we feel. For me, I feel things very deeply so sometimes I just can’t seem to find he right words to really express what I feel, so quotes do help.
Glad you enjoyed my post and I wish you the best!
Thank you Kathy for posting Barbara’s blog. I believe that as writers it is our vulnerability that touches people’s hearts. I love dogs and was moved by Barbara’s story about Frankie. Can’t wait to read “Through Frankie’s Eyes.” Barbara’s compassion for animals and positive attitude are inspiring gifts we all need in life. Again, thank you to both of you.
Lorenzo,
I think you are so right about vulnerability. I also remember reading somewhere that if you just write from your heart, the rest will take care of itself. That is how I’ve approached my writing career since I began in my early forties.
I’m glad you were moved by my post and I hope you will find great joy and encouragement from reading ” Through Frankie’s Eyes.” Thank you for stopping by! I appreciate it!
Lorenzo, you will love Barbara’s memoir about Frankie, especially since you are an animal lover! And I agree with you, “as writers it is our vulnerability that touches people’s hearts” as Barbara has done so effectively with this post. Thanks very much for stopping by and keep us posted on the launch of your memoir, From Cuba to Freedom. Best wishes, Kathy
I was very excited about this book coming out to be published before it was published. It seemd like a simply beautiful story to read and share. I guess I was wrong… as I started to follow Barbara’s website frequently, there was much more than just being a single beautiful story between one woman and its faithful pooch buddy about this book. It was something more powerful that touches my heart in a way I shed tears but at the same time it takes me to the different level of the perception of life. Cant lie sometimes I just look at the cover of the book “through the frankie’s eyes” you look at the frankie looking at Barbara it makes you cry … but its touching and beautiful. You can see all the trust, times you cant put value on between those two and its inspiring so many ways. I’m very happy at the same time just knowing there are such relationships out there in this world. One beautiful story of man and its best friend. I will eventually read the book. I know probably I would need some tissue yet it will make me feel good and appreciate about life too. Thank you so much Barbara for the inspiration!
Dear Soi, Welcome! You express so beautifully how Barbara touches us all and helps us to connect with our own vulnerability and see it as a gift.Through Frankie’s Eyes will not disappoint you. Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. Best wishes
Thank you, Soi! I’m so thrilled you’ve been following along on my blog with anticipation of the release of ” Through Frankie’s Eyes.” And I agree with Kathy, as you were not off topic, but hit the nail right on the head with memoir and vulnerability. They seem to go hand in hand– which is a good thing, because when they do it means we touch people’s lives and we make a difference. That is what it is about. Thank you for stopping by with your great thoughts!
I realized the comment I just left was a bit a out of topic of being vurnerable can be beautiful … the comment mainly focused on the book “through the frankie’s eyes. However its somewhat realted as well because you can see that being vurnerable can be beautiful through this book too.
Soi, I thought you hit right at the heart of what vulnerability means by sharing your own vulnerability!
Barbara’s story completely resonates with me. Nin’s quote was so right on!
I am in the midst of writing on my blog site, as well as slowly working on my memoirs. The doubt and self-defeat sometimes are debilitating to me, to the point where I’ll be dry as a bone from lack of inspiration. Lack of gumption and lack of desire to write.
The enemy of our souls sure likes to do a number on us when life throws us curve balls. I guess we have to stop catching them. Or at least when we stupidly do, throw them right back smack in his face with the truth that, we are good enough and do have a right and a calling perhaps to write. To get our messages and lessons learned out there to the world.
The world needs to hear our God fearing healthy messages.
So to all the Debi’s and Barbara’s out there, don’t stop writing! Don’t ever stop!
Welcome, Debi! What a profoundly important and vivid reminder of how we all need to stand up to that inner critic and allow our vulnerabilities to take us where we need to go. I appreciate you stopping by and sharing your thought-provoking comments to reinforce Barbara’s powerful message. Thank you and best wishes with your memoir writing.
Yea, Debi! I’m so glad my post resonated with you. You are so right that we have to share our stories and our messages– for when we do we give others permission (and courage!) to do the same.
I think too regarding inspiration that we must allow ourselves those times when we don’t feel inspired and trust we will come back to our writing and our inspiration. Life will always throw us curve balls, but allowing ourselves to know we will move through it is so important.
I especially felt this way when Frankie passed. I was so sad and missed her so much. But for the first time in my life, I realized I wouldn’t let myself down and when I was ready, I’d come back to finish my book– and I knew that if I did that the timing would be exactly how it was to be. There is something so profound in that.
And yes, Debi, don’t ever stop writing! Keep going!
Thanks for your awesome thoughts!
Kathy, what a beautiful dog your Max is — and I fully empathize with the diet, as DD, too, is trying to shed a few pounds!
Thank you. Barbara, for this beautiful post. I struggle with the vulnerability writing opens up. During my years as a journalist, and probably because of the nature of the writing, I didn’t have that problem. Writing a novel, however, is a different creature altogether. Shoot, even writing a blog post and commenting on others’ blogs calls forth a certain degree of vulnerability, but if we’re going to be writers, we must “put ourselves out there,” regardless of the cost.
Great point about “putting ourselves out there” Debbie which always involves a certain degree of vulnerability. I think it gets easier with practice. Thanks for your comments about Max. He’s a sweet boy but he does love to eat anything- kleenex, rocks, socks- in addition to food! So glad you stopped by and that you enjoyed Barbara’s post!
Thank you, Debbie for stopping by!
I do think there is a way of putting ourselves “out there” while feeling vulnerable, but remaining authentic and doing so with grace and integrity. For me, it is listening to, and following my heart. If my heart feels right about it, I follow that lead. Of course, my head provides common sense to balance me out (ha!)– but all in all, I do believe our hearts and our intuition are so important in leading the way to what is right and what will make a difference. My heart has never failed in leading me in the right direction– when it has failed was only because I questioned it. 🙂 And as Kathy said, it does take practice. We will never be perfect, but I do believe we can live in more harmony with who we truly are and share that with others with it feeling less and less scary the more we do so.
Barbara, Kathy will understand when the only words I leave here for you are: Oh, how your words resonate with me this morning!
Sherrey, so happy this resonated with you! Follow that good feeling and let it lead you right to where you are supposed to be. 🙂
LOL, Sherrey, you know that saying “less is more” 🙂
Barbara, the truth of this post leaps off the page. It takes guts to allow yourself to be so vulnerable, both in experiencing difficult feelings and then in the fallout your writing might cause in your relationships. What a great insight that the pain is unavoidable whether it’s out in the open or stays hidden. I’ve known that Anais Nin quote for a long time but somehow it had never occurred to me how beautifully it applies to memoir writing. I’ll be sharing this post widely–I know it will be an inspiration to many people who are just starting this journey of vulnerability.
Thank you, Sue! I appreciate so much your positive feedback. The Anais Nin quote has been a favorite of mine since about seven years ago when I was working with a life coach who was helping me figure out the “second half of my life.” It really resonated with me. I remember it feeling painful at the time because I so wanted to open and bloom, but I was also afraid. Having moved through those years and to where I am now I can say I am so glad I took the leap!
Thank you for sharing this post with your tribe- I so appreciate that!
This post reminds me so much of the way I felt in writing my memoir and finally getting it out in the world. Mostly I was terrified yet still proud of myself for the accomplishment. Even now I still feel that vulnerability. I take each reader’s review and comments so personally.
Congratulations Barbara on your great achievement. You’ve joined the memoir author’s club.
Madeline, I think that is one of the hardest things– taking readers reviews and comments so personally. I do feel stronger in that aspect with my new book, then with my children’s books– having growing a long the way. I guess I also feel like I really did do my best– and opinions are just that– opinions. But if at the end of the day we know we did our best, then hopefully we can come back to that when someone says something that feels hurtful. And honestly, that is not always easy for me and can take me some time, but I try to remember that I know it took courage to write my story and I’m always glad I did.
Dear Barbara, Yes I agree with what you and all the other people posting are saying–that writing a memoir requires vulnerability, and it also requires an equal if not larger dose of courage. I used to wake up panicking about how much I had revealed in my memoir, and now in articles, I’m challenging myself to reveal more and more.
A book called “Dancing at the Shame Prom” showed me how far we can really go in sharing powerful and deep stories, and made me create a new challenge for myself. But still there are those voices that judge and point fingers. We really can push people’s buttons, and they might indeed react. But we keep writing our truths. And it’s inspiring too to read about your mission Barbara for the beloved four-leggeds who love us. Thank you!
As writers, I think it is important to be counterintuitive about vulnerabilty. In the final analysis, being vulnerable is our greatest strength in sharing the truth of our stories. For in vulnerability are the lessons of life; they are what make us most human.
Thanks for the reminder, Susan, that it is in embracing our weakness that we are strong.
Susan,
Indeed, I so agree! Vulnerability is a strength and we all need to share this with others.
Thanks for stopping by!
Amen, Barbara!
Everyone needs to read this post. I see far too many creative people getting so caught up in “getting it right” by others’ standards that they lose the momentum in their creative stride or the spark in their own vision. I’m all for sharing ideas and honing a craft, but the creative Burst and then maintaining, growing and sharing your vision–despite setbacks and (big, scary) Fear–are really the sacred roots of creativity. And, in most cases, I think, the level of authenticity of a work is directly related to the level of vulnerability of the creator.
Obey Courage. It’s the only wise choice for the leafless.
“The best part of being vulnerable is that I realize no matter what anyone else may think or say about my book, I know I did the work. I know I put every bit of my soul into my writing. I know in my heart of hearts I want to inspire others— I want to continue to make a difference.”
A choice quote, Barbara; all the best in your endeavors.
Terre
Terre,
I couldn’t agree with you more, Terre. Fear so often can stop that creative burst, you are right! I’ve been there myself. But combine creativity, passion for what you are writing about, and a good editor and you are on your way! 🙂
Love your quote: Obey Courage. It’s the only wise choice for the leafless.
I’m so glad you enjoyed my post and your thoughts mean alot to me! Thank you!
Thanks so much, Barbara! It’s been a pleasure meeting you . . . with no small thanks to Kathy’s excellent choice in talent.
Aww, Terre, you’re so kind. I’m thrilled all you talented people are connecting 🙂
Vulnerability is frightening and, I found, brings culpability/guilt in its tail.
Opening doors of the past is often frightening, as we might have seen sides of people that nobody else had seen. Makeup my mom was putting before going out — for example. Not real makeup but a thick face paint camouflaging what she was really, hiding her deep fears, her terrible hurts, her intense opinionated self and her thirst of total control over me behind a wall of wonderful talents, nice dresses, arousing smiles and gorgeous hairdos. She was talented and beautiful — like a movie star — but so deeply wounded in her heart and soul. So, talking about her, her real her… how she hurt me, how she snuff my flame for living and passion for writing, what she did with my writings and notes and more… well… writing about it brings up and out not only vulnerability but also intense guilt. I hear voices screaming at me… “How dare you talking like this about you mom? An angel, the perfection. You are the black sheep! Shut up!” Then, I stoop a bit, cry a lot, sob for hours and then… my inner child scream back. “How could you know? You saw only the makeup! I have to write it, to take it out of me. It is my survival so, get out of my head and let me write.” Then, they leave me alone for a while… just for a while but just enough for me to remember more, to write more.
Writing about it, as I discover, brings out so much weird and negative emotions I thought buried for so long or that I had completely obscured from my consciousness. The more I write, the more they come out… stuff I never consciously remembered. It is amazing.
But vulnerability and the guilt that follow is darn painful, intense and frightful. It put me in a state of… should I say panic. But I continue to write. Would it be published? Probably but… it might be heavily edited before 🙂
Thank you for your wonderful article… I loved it!
Amyah, what a courageous and painful story you share. You are facing your fears and writing through them and in doing so have captured exactly what it means to be vulnerable and human. It is such a brave example of how facing our buried hurts and writing about them can help us to heal. Thank you so much for sharing from your heart. Best wishes on your memoir. And we all have to be heavily edited at some point. Initially though, we need to pour it all out on the page and sort it out. Blessings, Kathy
Amyah, Thank you for sharing your story. I can only imagine how painful this is for you with the fears you have shared. I truly hope the writing you are doing, as well as the crying will lead to healing for your soul. You deserve that. Keep writing and keep moving towards a place of peace… I know you can do it. And I agree with Kathy, writing it out on the page helps to sort it all out.
Barbara-
Being human means being vulnerable. Vulnerability is terrifying. Stepping outside of our rhelm of comfort and security takes courage and faith. It’s taking that blindfolded leap into the unknown. Sharing your insecurity about what people would think about your memoir let’s other inspiring writer’s feel encouraged. Thank you for embracing your vulnerability and showing the rest of us that our human frailty can lead to success.
Thanks for your insightful comments, Candice. I appreciate you stopping by and agree Barbara has shown us all through sharing her own brave story how revealing our humanness helps us to connect with others.
Candice,
Yes, you are so right– it can be very scary. And I agree that we all need to share our voice so it encourages others– we can all learn from each other, as that is why I believe we are here. And to become more compassionate and kind to each others. Thanks for stopping by!
I may be a bit late with my comment but wanted to say how vulnerability hit me like a brick wall. My school district did not renew my contract after I had put heart and soul into my work as an elementary counselor. In December I began to feel uneasy and by January I knew there was trouble brewing. I spent 3 months trying to become the person my principal wanted and in the process I lost my identity. For the next 5 years I was swimming in the depths of despair and vulnerablilty. I too want to write more about it but don’t yet have the confidence that I will come out whole. Thanks for the topic. Marge
Dear Marge, Thank you for stopping by and sharing your heart-wrenching story. I find journaling through painful areas helps me to unload and sort out the wide range of feelings related to these events. Perhaps just writing for yourself initially will help you to process the pain and get on the other side of it. Be gentle with yourself. You’ve already allowed yourself to get in touch with your vulnerability and shown courage by sharing your story here. Keep writing and I hope you’ll keep us posted. Blessings on your journey,
Kathy
Oh, Marge, I am so sorry this happened to you. I do agree with Kathy and think journaling just for you to help you move through this, would be a good idea. Years ago, I hired a life coach as I was trying to work though some things, and journaling really helped me to see me, and work through some issues I struggled with.
For years I did what I called “playing small” and would not be myself around those I felt didn’t accept me- I tried to fit in. All it did was eat away my soul– and I realized I was not living up to my full potential. For those I found it hard to be around I had to create boundaries– and limit myself to being with them. As I did this I got stronger, though I must say it was very lonely at first. So often I wanted to run back to what was “comfortable.” But the more I was me, the more I started to attract like-minded people to me which only made me stronger.
I agree with Kathy also to be gentle with yourself. You are worthy and you are a wonderful person– don’t forget that.
Wishing you the best-
Barbara