Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
“The challenge with memoir is to make it interesting to someone other than the writer.” David Colin Carr, editor
One of the biggest challenges in memoir writing is to turn the events in your life into a story someone else would want to read. Writing with the reader in mind becomes an essential part of the process but I have found it does not occur in full force until the rewriting/polishing phase.
Keeping the reader in mind as I write my memoir is something I’m working on as I grind away after three years of writing vignettes and two rounds of professional editing by a developmental editor.
I am finally ready to focus on my reader.
Why now?
Because I didn’t know the true heart of our story until I had poured out many drafts on the paper—often referred to as “sh*#! first draft or the vomit draft–just getting it on the page with no regard for editing or censoring.
That’s been my experience.
This point was brought home to me in a recent discussion on Belinda Nicoll’s blog, My Rites of Passage during her A-Z Blog Challenge. In Challenge #23: Writing Models, she discusses paying attention to creative techniques in the hopes of crafting a story that will be of interest to the readers. Belinda had posed the question,
“Do you keep your readers in mind as you write?”
In response to my comment that the longer I write and revise, the more I find myself writing with the readers in mind, Lifewriting Coach and Author Sharon Lippincott had replied:
“Kathy, your comment prefaces what I was about to write. Only you can say for sure, but I suspect your early focus was more on the personal cost of disclosure and less on how it would affect readers. Ideally, I think we all need to “write like nobody will ever see” in the beginning, then tailor down to our disclosure comfort level balanced with reader impact.”
Bingo!
Initially, I needed to pour the words on the page before I even knew what my story was. My focus was on digging and excavating.
Now that I have my story—the narrative arc— I can concentrate on writing with the reader in mind.
But I think there’s a fine line between giving the reader credit for figuring out the details and giving the right details to make it clear.
I have a responsibility as a writer to transport the reader into my world in a way that is grammatically correct, nicely paced, appealing to the senses and action-packed.
As a memoir writer, I need to offer lessons learned from life experiences so the reader will have something to take away from reading my memoir.
With that in mind, here are a few tips I’ve gleaned along the way to write words so the reader will be moved:
- Have enough emotional distance from the life events to be able to be objective in conveying the story.
- Be clear on your intention for story and stay true to your theme throughout the story. Avoid distracting tangents. Yes, this means “killing your darlings.”
- Offer reflections on the wisdom gained from life events rather than listing chronological events.
- *If you are stuck on who your target audience is, try writing with one reader in mind and focus on what you want them to learn from your story.
- Read your manuscript aloud to yourself and to others to listen for inconsistencies in pacing, clarity, voice. I use a digital recorder and tape some chapters. It’s amazing what I have been able to hear when I listen to my own words.
- Use a critique group and/or beta readers for objective feedback. In the end, it is your story but being open to how potential readers view your story is crucial to getting your best work out there.
- Commit to excellence on all levels. Invest (as you are able) in professional services for all levels of editing, book cover design, promotion. If finances are an issue, explore creative options for funding, such as kickstarter campaigns, beta readers, sharing services with other writers.
“It matters to put your best foot forward.” Jami Carpenter, The Red Pen Girl
Keeping the reader in mind as we build our characters and move our plot along through a series of event and actions that will keep our readers turning the pages seems like a reasonable expectation.
I’d like to leave you with a question Dan Blank posed in a recent post on Writers Unboxed: “Are You Giving Your Readers Only the Minimum Amount of Your Attention?”
How about you? How do you move the reader with your words? As a reader, what does it take to keep you turning the pages?
I’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~
On Thursday, May 30: Justine Schofield, Communication Coordinator of Pubslush a global crowdfunding publishing platform will discuss: ” Crowdfunding Your Memoir: 6 Ways to Know If Crowdfunding Is For You.” She will give away three (3) ebook versions of Pubslush’s debut title, a memoir, a beautiful mess by Ali Berlinksi.
Memorial Day, 2013
We remember and pray for our living and deceased veterans and thank God for the freedoms of this country.
Excellent advice, Kathy. Sharon’s tip is right on target too. As I remember the veterans today, I will also think of your beloved father and how he inspired you.
Thanks so much , Pat. Sharon’s comment really nailed it for me. And thank you for thinking of my precious Dad. I remember taking that picture at our family cottage in 2004 right after we raised the flag. The sight of the American flag always brought a ready salute and tears to his eyes.
Kathy, the lessons you learned on your writing journey are bang on! Though writing a memoir is based on your story, it’s not about you, its about providing value to your reader.
During my process, after many rewrites and deleting scenes that were unnecessary. I kept one reader in mind, asking myself: how will the reader react, what is the reader learning and what is the takeaway for the reader.
Admittedly, it was very challenging, but I know you can do it. I’m looking forward to reading your memoir.
Andrea, what ever you did for your memoir, Dramaville worked. Your narrative was fast-paced and drew me right in. Thank you for sharing the valuable lessons you learned in writing it. I’m aiming for the same and hope to be able to pull it off as well as you did. Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your tips.
This is a great post Kathy–it helps beginning memoir writers especially to see that there are several stages to writing, and publishing, a memoir. It’s not good to get that editor that we need later mixed up with the inner critic, which too often is what happens when we write for the reader at the beginning, particularly when the writer is digging into some memories that may be painful.
But there are those who think they are ready to be published after that first or second draft, and that’s not correct either. There are many edits, drafts, and even new material that comes in the later phases–writing a book is a long journey. I try to help people not rush to publication. You have one chance to create a book that is polished, professional, and beautiful. Thank you for your posts that help memoir writers!
Thanks, Linda Joy, for your always valuable advice. I didn’t even realize I wasn’t writing for the reader in the beginning until I reached the rewriting/polishing stage. As you teach so wisely, initially, we need to dig down into the pain, mine those memories before we even know what our story is about. I think it is so important for anyone starting out to realize memoir writing is a process that unfolds as we keep writing and that it goes through several stages before it is ready for mainstream publication (if that is what is desired). Yes, it is a long–sometimes painful– journey of self-discovery. I certainly agree that it is worth taking the time we need to write it right and to not rush the process. Our stories deserve to shine. Thank you for all you have done for me and for so many others who have chosen to embark on their own memoir writer’s journey!
Kathy, this was an interesting post. I always found it difficult to keep the reader in mind when Iwrote. When I tried, I would get myself tied up in knots. I don’t know what that says about my writing, but it has been a difficult aspect for me to address.
Hi Lorenzo, I’m glad you found the post interesting. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts on this topic. I think we all need to find our own ways through the process. I couldn’t fully focus on the reader until I had my story structure in place which took a lot of writing. Yes, it is a difficult process however we choose to go with it. Your writing and your story are very compelling. I am looking forward to your memoir!
Kathy, once again your advice is right on! With memoir, as with fiction, the writer must keep the reader in mind. I imagine memoir is harder in some ways, because you’re vested in your story while I’m able to create an entire fictional world — all I have to do is make myself so trustworthy that the reader will gladly come along for the ride!
It’s interesting that you’re just now paying attention to the reader in your rewriting phase, though. I find myself judging my words as I write them, much the way a reader would (probably harsher than most readers would!). Makes for a slower process, I guess, but I hope it will be something a reader will find worthy of page turning!
Debbie, I appreciate your thoughts on writing with the reader in mind. In retrospect what I thought was writing with the reader in mind in the beginning was really more haggling with my inner critic– as Linda Joy points out in her response–than focusing on the reader. I had to get past the “who are you to tell this story?, what will people think? ,etc which meant I had to keep writing for myself before I could get to the heart of my story. Now that I found it and having put that pesky critic in its place, I can concentrate on how my story will impact the readers. I think we all have to find our own way through this very long process whether in all genres. Thanks so much for for your thought-provoking comments!
Kathy, I am so excited that you have reached the phase of your writing in which you have found the narrative arc and are pondering how the story will resonate with others. You are so right; it takes immense time, effort, and perspective to get to that point. I continue to marvel at your progress in the past three years!
Libbye, You have been with me from the very beginning of this long, winding journey and I will be forever grateful for your guidance and support along the way. I appreciate younstopping by. It’s always nice to see you here and to hear your thoughts.Thanks for sharing:-)
Kathy … I hope you had a great day full of good memories. I loved that image you have of the words coming out to hug you. That’s really how a memoir should be, not just for you but for your reader. The pieces I read on Tribewriters were so engaging I’m waiting to read the whole thing.
Hi Audrey, Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate your encouragement and I look forward to staying connected. Congratulations on the upcoming launch of your novel and for sharing the process via Story Cartel of deciding on the right title. Keep us posted!
Great advice, Kathy. Long journey! I join with the others in applauding your diligence. I think there is always a group of readers who appreciate someone who has the courage to write her story and who takes the time to share. I liked your point about the emotional distance and keeping things well- paced. You cited some good teachers.
I’m having a hard time keeping with all the smashtribepincrowdblinkthhink and….what
was that again? I have to sign up for what? Ok, ok, ok. xo
You’re too funny, Sue! It is pretty noisy out there with so many demands on our time when all we really ever wanted to do was write our stories.:-) We have certainly traveled the long road together and learned from one another. Your stories from our ongoing memoir workshops with Linda Joy are still with me. So glad you stopped by. Thanks for your words of encouragement and best wishes. I hope everyone checks out your blog at http://journalwithsue.wordpress.com.
It’s funny how we each find a different path through the process. I determined seven years ago to publish a “story album” with seven stories about my experience eating chili and other hot food. When I recently began assembling these stories, a couple of which I included in The Heart and Craft of Lifestory Writing, I realized that they were more connected than I had realized. Adding more depth and reflection to simple humorous vignettes has turned freestanding stories into legitimate memoir, story arc and all. Surprise!
I initially wrote these stories a long time ago on a lark. I had fun writing them, and aimed straight at the reader from the start. I have read them to many delighted audiences. Now they are more. Follow your heart and see where the path leads.
I do realize that comparing the experience of writing humorous experiences as in Adventures of a Chilhead, with deeply painful ones such as your own, is unbalanced at best, and why we each need to find our own way. Kudos to you for persisting until you were able to do that.
And hooray for Linda Joy’s reminder that we should not rush to publication. Her wisdom was echoed last night by Marla Miller, cohost of the Indie Authors weekly Hangouts webcast, on program #55. Her summary statement was “Writers, don’t do that to yourselves!” Ah so!
Sharon, Isn’t it amazing how the story that needs to be told seems to reveal itself in time. I am looking forward to reviewing Adventures of a Chilihead-very intriguing title! I appreciate you reinforcing Linda Joy’s and Marla’s messages to not rush to publication. Our stories deserve to shine. Thanks, as always for stopping by and offering your perspective and encouragement.
Another excellent post I have to share! I think this works for fiction and even other nonfiction. Sharon’s comment resonates. It’s nice to have the reader in mind as we write as that can save a little time and maybe even a major re-write, but to focus too much on that while drafting would be crippling. Our inner editors need to be shoved aside for the first few drafts and until we find the story, then brought in to polish for the reader.
“Who am I to tell the story” and “What will people think” are what Anchee Min wrestled with while writing her future bestselling memoirs, as I mentioned in my latest blog post, so we’re all in good company.
Thanks, Linda and I agree that focusing too much on the reader in early drafts–when we don’t even know the heart of our stories yet– can be crippling as we are learning to shove that inner critic aside. It’s reassuring that bestselling memoirist Anchee Min felt the same way the rest of us do when we sit down to tell our stories. I hope everyone checks out your post: http://moonbridgebooks.com. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
Kathy. I’m a divided writer. I write simultaneously for myself and my reader but it’s true that the closer I travel toward the finish line, the more aware I am of the reader waiting in the wings.
My early drafts didn’t have much of a theme. It wasn’t until I was finished with draft number 450 or so, that I started to understand the story arc and what my purpose was for writing the book in the first place.
It’s funny how everything sort of falls into place as you follow the steps and are willing to kill the darlings–oh so painful. Despite how much I read the “how tos” until it was time to approach that step, it seemed arduous. But then, like magic, it all clicked.
Great post, as always. I hope your memoir is coming along at the pace you are happy with. We’re all going to be so ready to read it! 🙂
Hi Grace, I appreciate you sharing your writing journey with us. I think we all have to find our own way through the maze. I agree with you that early drafts are focused on just getting it out and finding the threads that tie it into a story. Then we can give our full attention to our readers. My memoir is coming along and I’m certain it will let me know when it is ready to be launched! Your memoir, Reaching is next on my list and I can’t wait to dig in and feature you here on 7/15 🙂
Kathy, your timing with this post is perfect. As I was writing yesterday, I had this feeling that anyone reading would find it difficult to sort out my story. Reading your post today I now understand that I’m in the process of writing that “shitty” draft Anne Lamott references in Bird by Bird. Also, you should know that while reading this, I was struck with an idea of how I should be telling my story so I made a quick note to use later when revising and rewriting. Thanks so much for sharing your experience.
Wonderful, Sherrey! I’m so happy the post helped you sort out your story. I think that’s half the battle but it can only happen if we commit to starting and continuing to write past our inner critic, past all our excuses (speaking from my own personal experience here!). It’s been such a pleasure to learn from one another and I appreciate, as always, you stopping by and sharing your thoughts.:-)
Kathy, Your quote at the beginning of this post says: “The challenge with memoir is to make it interesting to someone other than the writer.”
I believe this happens when the writer is a consummate writer and when he/she is able to communicate the inner struggle, the keen observations and articulate a philosophy that resonates and has a universal appeal . . .
Some writers will appeal only to one type of audience; the true literary writers achieve just by the virtues above a compelling journey to their readers and only time will judge the worth of their words, their stories…
Much of the problem today with memoir is that people who are not trained in professional writing are attempting in mid-life to become writers/authors. Only a very few are ever able to just be “naturals” – begin at ground zero with no training in the craft and write decent books.
Amen,Susan! And I know your work reflects these strong beliefs. As I have found in my own memoir writer’s journey, there is a wide chasm between having a story to tell and being able to deliver it in a professional, well-crafted and compelling way. Knowing our limits and committing to learning the craft is essential. That being said, and speaking for myself, I commit to these standards and can only hope to fulfill the requirements to the best of my ability.
How about the rest of you? I’ve love to hear from others on this.
Thank you Susan for “cutting to the chase” and reminding us all of our commitment to our craft.