Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Janet Givens/@GivensJanet
“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences.” Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)
I am very happy to feature Memoir Author Janet Givens in this guest post. Janet’s upcoming memoir At Home on the Kazakh Steppe is a story of the challenges and transformation that occurred in their lives when she and her husband lived in Kazakhstan, the largest of the former Soviet Republics, as Peace Corps volunteers in their 50’s and 60’s in 2004.
Welcome, Janet!
KP: Where is Kazakhstan?
JG: Growing up in the 50s and 60s, I thought the Soviet Union WAS Russia. It wasn’t until I got into poli sci in grad school and the Soviet Union collapsed that I learned the difference. Russia was just one of the 14 “Republics” within the Soviet system that became independent in 1991 or earlier. (there are other republics still under Russian control). THEN, since the press kept referring to five of the 14 newly independent countries by lumping them together as “The Stans”, I still didn’t know about Kazakhstan. The Peace Corps changed that.
As for where it is, I can tell you that Kazakhstan is west of China (the fourth largest country) and south of Russia (thelargest). FYI, the USA is the third largest and Kazakhstan is the ninth. This is by area, not population. All pretty big, given there are about 200 identified countries now. A little fewer. I just found http://www.mapsofworld.com/
KP: “How did you wind up being “on the Kazakh steppe,” and in the Peace Corps? It’s something that college-age students do, is it not? You’re a grandmother?
JG: I am a grandmother. My husband Woody Starkweather and I joined the Peace Corps as an older, married couple in 2004. We were a bit of a rarity, since only 7% of Peace Corps volunteers are married and 5% are over 50. As for going to Kazakhstan, the Peace Corps allows each volunteer to choose their region, but my husband’s desire to teach Engisih limited our choices to Asia and Central Asia. Then using some algorithm, the Peace Corps makes a final determination on the specific country.Th
As for why we wanted to join, let me quote from the book.
“The idea of Peace Corps still had a powerful pull on me. … An even stronger pull was the unexpected patriotism we both felt after the fall of the Twin Towers and the other tragedies of that September day. We both abhorred the patriotism that was measured by flag waving and a “my country right or wrong” mindset. … We found it devoid of compassion. Woody’s Peace Corps suggestion came at the perfect time.”
Except that I loved my life as it was and I didn’t want to give any of it up.
KP: You’ve been working on this memoir since your return in 2006. Why did you set out to write this book?
JG: Oh, that’s easy; I couldn’t NOT write this book.
Of the Peace Corps’ three goals, the third is for returning volunteers to “promote a better understanding of other peoples on the part of Americans.” But, more than that, I wanted to understand what had happened to me. These are life-changing experiences, for the grandmothers no less than the twenty-somethings.
KP: How did you begin?
JG: I began by putting together the seventeen email updates–as I called them in the days before I knew about blogs–that I had sent home. And, I reread my journals from those two years. I found what Lisa Dale Norton calls “Shimmering Images” to be a useful metaphor for me.
When I began to query agents, I learned that Peace Corps memoirs had earned a bad rap; there just aren’t that many good ones. I knew I’d have to work harder. But I wasn’t sure how. I hired editors, I took a few Writers’ Digest workshops, and I bought books on writing memoir. Lots of books. All helped, but Eric Maisel’s The Art of the Book Proposal got me on track.
Maisel taught me to seek the “universal truth” of my story, something a reader who has never been through Peace Corps could relate to. I needed to sort through what he calls the “many possible meanings” my memoir might offer, select one, and advocate for it.
Then I rewrote my memoir with my reader in mind. To paraphrase someone else, “I wrote the first draft for me, the next ones for my reader.”
KP: So, what is the meaning of your story? It’s ‘Universal Truth?’
JG: I wanted it to be the importance of accepting cultural differences.
While I was living in Kazakhstan, the Danish cartoon controversy hit the news. Misunderstanding grew into violence that eventually reverberated around the world, reminding me just how vital it has become to be able to understand, appreciate, and honor cultural differences. And, I believe, as our world gets smaller, this becomes even more important.
The problem was that actually living in such a very different culture was hard. Whatever book learning I may have had, I found that maintaining curiosity about cultural differences was overwhelming and exhausting at times.
Take the simple act of pointing. During my first semester as an English teacher, I essentially gave my students “the finger” each time I pointed to words on the board as I would in America. I know how I’d feel if a new teacher “flipped me the bird” on a regular basis. I was mortified when I learned.
When I tried to use a pointer, as instructed, I felt pompous, like I was putting on airs. Through my discomfort, I came to appreciate how deeply rooted my American sense of informality, casualness runs. It’s the gift of cultural clashes like this one, to help us understand our own culture better.
By the way, my students and my colleagues were universally welcoming and accepting of me, no matter how many cultural faux pas I made. And there were many.
KP: So, cultural difference is the theme of your book?
JG: Well, yes and no.If “cultural differences” was all the book offered, it would read like an academic tome. Or worse, a moralistic lecture. I’d get mostly yawns, at best.
I wanted to hold my readers through to the end. To do that I had to give them a real story, with enough tension to keep them turning the page.
I had to let myself be vulnerable. By including my own insecurities — not just with the newness of Kazakh culture in which I was immersed, but with the unexpected struggles and doubts I faced about my young marriage –I found a path readers could relate to. Who hasn’t, no matter how stably married, wondered how well you really knew the person you’d married? Even better, I’ve not found a sub-theme of marital tension in any of the Peace Corps memoirs I’ve read.
KP: What has been the greatest challenge for you?
JG: I’m currently at the “weasel word” stage in my edits–finding all the “just” and “all” and “really” that sneak in without me realizing. The challenge is that I love this phase; I love how changing or deleting one word can make a huge difference in the tone of the sentence,or the emphasis or even the meaning. I can see me tinkering with my manuscript for months to come.I need to find a balance between my simmering perfectionism and my desire to get my story out.
Before this, I struggled for years with how to include my husband. In all external ways, this was a shared experience. But when we got back home, I kept hearing him say, “Janet had a really positive experience. But mine wasn’t so much so.” As a result, I consciously kept him out of my first few drafts. I feared his more negative experience would dilute my ultimately positive one. And of course, I didn’t want to admit how angry and disappointed I was that his experience didn’t mimic mine.
KP: What changed your mind?
JG: Editors changed my mind. The professionals I I’ve hired at various times over the last seven years all came back with the same message. “He’s conspicuous in his absence.” I struggled with how to include him without sounding like I was just complaining.”
KP: Has writing this book changed your life in any way?
JG: Once I learned the need for a good old-fashioned narrative arc, even in memoir, I began reading fiction again. I needed to see how great novelists developed their characters, what was it that made me like the protagonist, what made me care, and most important, what kept me reading? I tried to weave the answers I found from reading fiction into my story of living in Kazakhstan. I’m still learning (of course) and always will. I love the process, particularly the rewriting. I’ve found how much I love words, how much power they have, even the little,tiny ,short ones.
I also learned I needed to show as much compassion for the characters in my story, including myself, as I did the honesty I was so wedded to in the beginning. I’ve recently discovered the writer Dinty Moore, who writes, “Compassion requires that we understand, even if we disagree.”
That is, it turns out, may well be the real theme of my book.
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Author’s Bio:
Janet Givens, M.A., is a practicing psychotherapist and sociologist who gave up her career to join Peace Corps at age 55. She writes of life, cultural differences, Kazakhstan, friendship and peace in the Vermont Countryside with her white shepherd at her feet and a stash of dark chocolate within her reach.
In addition to At Home on the Kazakh Steppe, Janet co-authored the textbook Stuttering, which was included in Choice Magazine’s “Best Textbooks of 1997″ list, the first in its field to win this award. She has a middle school work, Grandma Goes to Kazakhstan and a picture book/adult fable, Two Bunnies, in need of an illustrator.
Contact Information:
Website: Janet Givens, write
Facebook:
PROFILE at Janet Givens
PAGE: Janet Givens, Author
Twitter: @GivensJanet
Google+ at Janet Givens
Goodreads at Janet Givens
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Thank you Janet for sharing your memoir writer’s journey with us. In showing us how writing your Peace Corps memoir is a process of self-discovery, you provide us with many valuable memoir writing tips. Best wishes on the launch of At Home On the Kazakh Steppe. Be sure to keep us posted on the release date.
How about you? What has your experience been with cultural difference? Do you have any tips to add to Janet’s about writing a memoir? Any Peace Corps memoirs you’d recommend?
Next Week: “Writing with the Reader in Mind”
Thank you, Janet and Kathleen, for sharing these tips. The only Peace Corps Memoir I’m familiar with is Peter’s China ones. I can’t remember Peter’s last name but he is famous for his memoirs on teaching English to Chinese. I loved his memoirs.
I can relate to this post in cultural aspects because I’ve had culture shock twice. Once in my seven year old immigration from Holland and not knowing how to ask how to go the bathroom when I entered school the third day of arriving in America and, the second was as a VISTA in Indiana. Coming from suburbia to rural poverty in Indiana was a shock to me and one I had to learn to embrace before I could be effective there. In the end as an RN, I set up an Immunization clinic and a well baby clinic before leaving.
I can’t wait to read this memoir when it’s finished, as I am certain that there will be more that i can relate to. I have a friend who was in Kasakhstan as a Peace Corps volunteer. But I will have to ask my son what year it was as I don’t remember.
How interesting , Clar, that culture shock can take place in our own country. We don’t have to look very far to find differences and being a nurse afforded you many rich experiences to learn and reconcile those differences. I am imagining many stories of your experiences moving from Holland and setting up the rural immunization and well baby clinic. Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your experiences. And what a small world–that you have a friend who was in Kazakhstan. I had never heard of the country until I met Janet. Now she has me primed to read her memoir!
Yes indeed. You must mean Peter Hessler’s River Town. I’m afraid my reference to his wonderful book as well as one by one of my editors, Bonnie Lee Black (How To Cook A Crocodile) went on the editing room floor, so to speak. We all know how that goes. lol
I’m so glad to hear of your experiences as a young person in a brand new culture. How fun to think back on those embarrassing at the time moments and be able to laugh.
And I’d love to meet your PC Kazakhstan friend. Peace Corps was in the country from 1994 until 2012. Please pass along my contact info.
Janet
Kathy, Thanks so much for inviting me to participate this week. I’ve been following your blog for a few months now and it’s fun to be on the “other side.”
Janet
Janet, It is wonderful to feature you this week and be invited into your Peace Corps world. I am feeling very enlightened –culturally-aware– and inspired to know more about the people and place that had such a positive impact on you. Thank you for sharing your story. Fascinating. 🙂
“Compassion requires that we understand, even if we disagree.” Janet that line says it all. If only everyone could follow that adage. As an expat for 30 years, I have found that empathy is far more important that agreement. And it is always enlightening to see one’s own country in the eyes of others. I can’t wait to read At Home on the Kazakh Steppe. Thanks, Kathy, for bringing us another fascinating story.
I agree, Pat. If we could all just agree to disagree, live and let live, it seems we’d all be better off. I ,too, am fascinated by Janet’s story and am looking forward to the release of her memoir. Thanks, as always for stopping by and sharing your ex-pat perspective.
Indeed, Pat. And I hope my story resonates with that message. Thanks so much for leaving a note. Kathy has grown such a supportive, caring, and open-minded community here. It’s a pleasure to be part of it.
Wonderful interview, Kathy. Thank you. I look forward to reading Janet’s published book soon too!
Thank you, Bonnie and welcome! I feel like I am on multicultural journey today as I just visited your lovely blog at http:// bonnieleeblack.com and see you have lived in Mali, West Africa. Congratulations on your new book, HOW TO MAKE AN AFRICAN QUILT. I am intrigued to learn more about your story. I hope you’ll stop back and share more stories with us. Thanks so much for stopping by today.
Hi Bonnie. So glad you came by. And delighted to read that Kathy has discovered your website. Glad I could bring you two together.
Janet, I’m so glad to know more about you and have enjoyed your comments on some of my social media posts. I love the idea of compassion requiring understanding and permitting disagreement. You’ll have a much stronger book with your husband’s different experience and your inner doubts about your marriage visible to the reader.
I have not been in the Peace Corps, but I went with my husband and children to Haiti and to the Ivory Coast as co-leader of the Goshen College Study-Service Term in these two countries. We went through culture shock ourselves and helped our students do the same. Both were amazing, difficult, experiences. We also met interesting Peace Corps volunteers in both locations.
Your memoir will be wonderful, I’m sure. Thanks for sharing. And thanks for hosting, Kathy!
My pleasure, Shirley and thank you for sharing your experiences in Haiti. I agree, Janet’s memoir holds much appeal. It is an invitation into her inner and outer journey as a member of the Peace Corps. Thanks so much for stopping by.
Hi Shirley, One of the gifts to me of writing this memoir is that my doubts became visible to me as well. Once out in the open, they are much easier to deal with. Writing has such power that way. At least for writers. We must chat about Haiti. I was there in 1970, when the mahogany forests were majestic. I understand they are all gone now.
Janet
Kathy, Janet was lucky to have a life-time experience in Kazakh. Being in four different continents has taught me a few special things. While working in a bush in an African country, I noticed it was essential to learn the native language. So… I would write down in Indian language how to say something pertaining to patient’s history, write down the answer with its meaning. I got a cultural shock when a husband of a patient in labor had to beg his mother-in-law to give the permission for C- section. I had to draw pictures what the problem was and what would be the complications if she would not let me take care of her daughter and grandchild. It worked.
Oh my gosh, Smita, what a gripping account of dealing with cultural differences in a life and death situation. I can’t help but think that your cultural awareness helped bridge the gaps and make the difference when it mattered the most. You have so many dramatic stories to share and I appreciate you sharing them with us. Thanks so much for stopping by.
Smita, Hello. How fascinating. I hope you’re writing your stories. I’d love to learn more. I was not able to be fluent in either language (Russian and Kazakh) while there. I taught English, I used English with my local colleagues, I spoke English at home with my husband. Whatever words or phrases I may have learned during training evaporated. Or did they? I did get to communicate with a few who spoke no English. But it was a challenge. Thanks for commenting.
Good morning Janet and Kathy! I am glad you both were able to glimpse a different culture. Kathy, I remember I wrote about the drunk Anesthetist whom I sent home and gave the spinal myself then did the c-section, saving the mother and the baby, and I had to be a virtual doctor and a patient myself to deliver my own baby.
Janet , I want to read your experience in a foreign country. I agree with both of you that I should write.
Thanks!
Yes, Smita, I remember many of your stories. They are so gripping, they get me every time I read them. You have much to offer about your Indian culture, about being a woman who survives many odds and about being a physician who encounters life-and-death issues. So yes,by all means, keep writing. 🙂
Janet, how brave you were to go off to a corner of the earth most Americans have barely heard of at an age when many are heading for the Senior Center. I’ve traveled widely, but would love to become more immersed in a specific location. It may be a bit late for the Peace Corps, but other avenues require shorter commitments.
“Compassion requires that we understand, even if we disagree.”
Yes! And your memoir fits with my belief that we CAN change the world, one story at a time. Yours sounds big and powerful. I look forward to reading.
Thanks for stopping by, Sharon. I agree, Janet’s memoir sounds “big and powerful.” We can live her experience vicariously.:-)
Hi Sharon. On my website, I have a page (Other Resources) where I list organizations that sponsor the type of trip you may be interested in. It is not complete, by any means, but it’s a start. Thanks for your comments.
This interview has certainly wet my appetite to read your book about your stint in the Peace Corps in Kazakhstan. Apart from curiosity about your experience with that culture, I’m interested as to why a middle-aged couple would join the Peace Corps, both of your diverse experiences, and I’m impressed by your developmental process as a writer. Although I’ve been writing for 21 years, my own memoir developed much along the same lines as yours, starting with a Writers Digest course in 2004.
I’m bi-cultural, Anglo-Mexican, with New England Puritan ancestry, a challenging mix. Therefore, I enjoy reading about different cultural experiences especially when I know the book is well written.
Hi Penelope , it’s so nice to see you back again! I appreciate your comments about your multicultural experiences as well as about your own memoir writing process. Your memoir, Don’t Hang Up sounds very intriguing. Please post a link to ordering. Thanks so much for stopping by. I’m happy Janet’s post resonated with you. I hope you’ll keep coming back and updating us on your writing. 🙂
Hello Penelope,
Thanks for your comment. I come from Puritan stock myself, though beyond the unfortunate issue of Control, I find it helps keep me detail oriented and focused — everything in its place and all that. Janet
Janet, you’re putting a lot of hard work into this memoir; it sounds like a compelling read, so I can’t wait to read it.
Great interview, Kathy.
Thanks, Belinda. I agree, Janet’s story and her memoir writer’s journey are very compelling. I appreciate you stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
Hi Belinda, Good to “see” you again. It is work, isn’t it — to write something compelling. Fortunately, it’s work I love. You’ve heard the Anais Nin quote, I imagine, something about how writing memoir gives you the chance to live it all over again. It’s been great to revisit many of these memories in “slow motion.” Janet
Janet, we have to talk. I hope you get in touch. I ‘m 55 and have attended many Peace Corps meetings in southern California.
I didn’t realize only 5% are over 50. I’d like to know how difficult it was to find a post for you and your husband and I thought yuou had 3 choices of locations. I speak French but my husband doesn’t. How do they pick locations is you and your husband have different skills. I know it’s 27 months and first 3 months you train. Do you train in the country where you are being sent? Would you do it again?i wrote a memoir about uprooting my family with 3 sons from California to a hut in Belize. We all changed and I loved the life lessons we learned. I’m ready for another adventure. Please contact me when you have time. I’m in Paris right now, but return to CA this Wednesday. Thanks kathy for interviewing Janet.
My pleasure, Sonia. I’m so glad you enjoyed Janet’s story. I hope you two get connected soon. Why does it not surprise me that you are itching for a new adventure? 🙂 I will look forward to hearing where this leads you to next. Janet should submit a story to your My Gutsy Story contest, don’t you think?
Hi Sonia,
Nice to meet you. I’ve followed your blog for some time and have met some fascinating people through it. As with Kathy’s.
First, I would recommend going to the PeaceCorps.gov web site. And just wandering around in it. There’s an ancient rule in Peace Corps that no staff can stay more than five years. I think the rule is broken often, but still, the people and the ideas change often and what was true for me in 2004 may no longer be the case.
Second, My husband was fluent in three languages when we joined Peace Corps. In fact, one of his goals in joining was to learn yet another language. He loves languages. (Woody.Starkweather.com FYI) The only criteria for joining is to be a US citizen and have either a college degree or life experience.
AND, Peace Corps is in a push currently for more seniors. I think we’re cheaper to support — we don’t need the free condoms, anyway. 🙂 I’ll get in touch with you later this week. Safe travels. Janet
Thank you all for your stories. Janet is a long time friend of mine and I was one of the fortunate ones to receive her “e-mail updates” from Kazakh. I am not sure if it was Kathy’s interviewing skill or Janet’s processing of her experience but I learned a great deal more about it. It whetted my appetite to read the book.
A few of the comments can be usefully applied in the United States as well as in foreign countries. “Compassion requires that we understand, even if we disagree,”
“how vital it has become to be able to understand, appreciate, and honor cultural differences.”
Jeanne
Welcome , Jeanne! How interesting that you played a key part in Janet’s story as a recipient of her email updates. I’m happy to hear that you feel you learned a great deal more about her story through the interview. I think we’re all ready to read the rest of Janet’s story through her memoir. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
Hi Jeanne. How very cool of you to stop by. Thank you for your post.
I should mention here, especially for those who can’t recall life before word processing programs, that Jeanne helped type my masters thesis, back in said world. 1983? I suspect writers in general did a lot less tinkering back before WP came out.
Janet, I enjoyed the introduction to your Peace Corps memoir and its message you want to present in it. I found it interesting, the steps you took for your memoir to come to be. Best wishes!.
Thank you, Susan.
Janet, I could relate to your guest post on so many different levels. In the international school where I teach students of 138 different nationalities that speak 84 different languages. Accepting cultural differences is so important and we often aren’t aware of our own cultural biases until we have traveled outside of our homeland.
Please let me know when your book is launched. I would love to read it. Kathy, once again, thank you for connecting your readers to another fascinating writer.
Hello Pat, I’m very glad to meet you here. Kathy does excel at bringing people together and I’m so glad. Your work sounds fascinating. I only had 126 different possible ethnicities, and two languages to deal with. I’d love to talk more with you about it.
As it happens, Kathy is over at my blog this week. I hope you’ll stop over. janetgivens.com/blog I’d love to have you participate.
I’m hoping to see the book in print by March, which probably means April. The eVersion may be sooner. Thank you for your interest.
Janet, I’m thrilled that you and Pat have connected! You both open all our worlds to new places and experiences. So happy your memoir is so close to getting out there.
Pat, I love it when all these “meaningful connections” occur! You and Janet share so much about other countries and cultures. It’s like traveling around the world without a passport when I read your stories. Keep those stories coming. I too am looking forward to the release of Janet’s memoir. Thanks, as always, stopping by and sharing your thoughts.