Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler

I am very pleased to be participating in WOW-Women on Writing’s Book Tour with this review of Donald R Dempsey’s stunning debut memoir, Betty’s Child.

Official book synopsis:

Donny Davis is struggling to coexist with his mother, a single woman who moves from place to place, always just a step ahead of the law, scamming churches, and running bad checks. She has already been incarcerated for these self-same illegal activities, but refuses to alter her lifestyle; a lifestyle that includes bringing home men she knows little or nothing about. One of these men eventually assaults Donny. He feels trapped, as his mother makes excuses for her boyfriend’s actions, but he fears more for his younger brothers than he does for himself. Scarred and sullen, Donny shamefully attends the church his mother is scamming. He stays silent, but something within him begins to rise up, and his youthful indignation swells to an outright full rebellion. As his life with his mother grows ever more fraught with peril, Donny’s world begins to completely unravel. His beloved dog is taken from him. One of his younger brothers is brutally attacked. He loses the few friends he has when the family is moved by the church they attend. And then, the very pastor who has control of them begins to accuse him of his mother’s sins.

Betty’s Child is the story of one young man’s ordeals with poverty, religion, physical and mental abuse, maternal insanity, and the dire need for confidence and direction as he attempts to come of age.

My Review:

Donald Dempsey writes with such piercing honesty and graphic scenic detail in this debut memoir that I had a hard time initially getting into his story. It wasn’t that his story was not engaging, it was that the subject matter was so painfully raw, it made me feel uncomfortable. How could a mother continually neglect and abuse her three sons to serve her own demented needs and furthermore, how could a preteen have the maturity, resilience and even a sense of humor to counteract her manipulations and insanity? As in Frank McCourt’s Angela’s Ashes, the reader can taste and feel the sense of poverty and despair as Donny struggles to grow and develop in an environment that is emotionally and physically-abusive not only as a result of his mother’s instability but also from the steady stream of undesirable men she brings home.

Through it all, I become increasingly more attached to Donny as a spunky twelve-year-old who is doing his best with what he has. His strength of character comes out in many ways as he navigates around the dangerous, drug-infested neighborhood , fighting off bullies. Donny serves as the protector for his younger brothers and learns to fend for himself, often skipping school and getting involved in stealing. A church member and his wife attempt to help Donny find God and although he resists, he ends up reluctantly participating in the rituals. The degree of insanity, neglect and abuse from his mother continues while she manipulates the church and its people to help support the family. This further enables her to continue in her scams and the neglect of her children. When Donny tries to confide his mother’s scamming habits to the pastor, the pastor sides with his mother and accuses Donny of being the instigator of his mother’s problems.

Dempsey recounts several horrific events with such passion and feelings of grief that I felt bereft and despairing right along with him. There is something within Donny’s character though that lurks in the background, a foreshadowing of hope for a better life someday. Donny’s character is resilient and resourceful and he shows a compassion and sense of humor that allows him to overcome any obstacle. He does not sugar-coat any of the abusive events he has had to face and he admits that some of the events in his life still have an impact on him. Rather he shows that despite even the most horrific circumstances, one can endure and go on to live a full and stable life.

Betty’s Child is an honest and believable portrait of what child abuse, neglect and poverty look and feel like to a child. It also delivers a message of hope and healing that one can overcome childhood abuse. The sensory details, authentic dialogue and honest reflections make this a gripping debut memoir.

5 out of 5 stars

About the Author:

Don Dempsey experienced childhood abuse and neglect first hand, but went on to have a fulfilling family life as an adult and to own his own business. “If you’re lucky, you make it to adulthood in one piece,” says Don. “But there’s no guarantee the rest of your life is going to be any better. Abused kids are often plagued by fear and insecurity. They battle depression and have trouble with relationships. In the worst cases, abused children perpetuate the cycle.” But Don is living proof that you can overcome a childhood of abuse and neglect. “You start by letting go of as much of the guilt (yes, abused kids feel guilty) and as many of the bad memories as possible. At the same time, you hold on to the things that helped you survive. For me, it was the belief that you can make life better by working at it and earning it. It helps to have a sense of humor, too.”

I’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~

A Copy of Betty’s Child will be given to a commenter whose name will be selected in a random drawing

Next Week: Memoir Author Grace Peterson will discuss her recently released memoir, Reaching in a guest interview:”Freedom From Spiritual Abuse.” She will give away a copy of her memoir to a commenter whose name will be selected in a random drawing.