Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
“We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.” Marcel Proust
Are We There Yet?. . .
Those six hour car trips to Schenectady, New York to visit my Nana and Grandpa DiCerbo back in the 1950s usually started with my younger brother, Tom, asking, ten minutes into the trip,
“Are we there yet?”
To a five year old, time has little meaning and that question was repeated more than anyone else in the car cared to hear. Especially Dad who would calmly repeat,
“Not yet.”
I think of that memory as I wrap up the final edits of my first memoir. The journey has been a long one—four years—filled with potholes, detours, new discoveries and transformation.
The goal of publishing has always been a distant dream, probably like the goal of getting to Schenectady must have seemed to my five-year-old brother when we’d hop in the car to head east.
I knew I’d be happy to get there but I also knew it would be a long way to go.
So, I find myself at this juncture of memoir writer, soon-to-be memoir author and I look ahead with anticipation, excitement and a bit of trepidation. That’s my inner critic, Gertrude as I have decided to call her, trying to worm her way into my psyche.
I think I’ll put her in the backseat and leave her off at the next rest stop.
I have put my heart and soul into this memoir in hopes that others will feel inspired to learn from their mistakes and grow in new ways. I want to share my hope with others through my story.
I believe in my story. I’m connected to its purpose. I’m ready to share it.
It has been put through the paces of three rounds of developmental editing, two rounds of beta readers and one round of copy editing,and, as a result, multiple rewrites.
It’s still not where I need it to be , but it’s closer than it’s ever been.
My hat is off to Dale Griffith Stamos for her deep-cut edits and encouragement in shaping my story; to Susan Weidener for her in-depth insights and suggestions on my memoir’s takeaways; to Eve Gumpel for her detailed fine-tuning in helping me to polish my story; and for my ten loyal beta readers who offered amazing insights from a reader’s point of view on how to make my story better.
And a special thanks to all of YOU for your cheers and support along the way. . .
It really does take a village to write a memoir.
What started as a pile of vignettes written in Linda Joy Myers’ Spiritual Memoir Teleclasses (NAMW) over a four-year period became a “sh*#$” first draft and many workshops and rewrites later morphed into a story only I can tell. Thanks for showing me the map and putting fuel in my tank, Linda Joy!
Literary agent Janet Reid, known for her no-nonsense approach, advises in this post:
“Good enough is not the standard you want to aspire to” noting she looks for writers who”sweat every word, sentence, paragraph and page.”
In other words, write it until it’s right!
So I’ve made it to this point. I’ve started the query process with small publishers.
I will keep you posted along the way.
And we did make it to Schenectady to enjoy wonderful family visits. The long trip was worth it, though uncomfortable and tedious at times.
Pretty much like writing a memoir.
How about you? How has your (memoir) writer’s journey been?
I’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~
ANNOUNCEMENT: Congratulations, Dorothy Sanders! You are the lucky winner of Marion Witte’s memoir, Little Madhouse on the Prairie.
This Week:
Tuesday, 11/5/13: I’m over at Cate Russell Cole’s CommuniCATE blog with a post on “Releasing the Creative Genius Within.” Hope you’ll stop by there , too!
Thursday, 11/7/13: “The Face of Abuse: Shall I Stay or Shall I Go? by Memoir Author Wanda S. Maxey
Yes Kathy, it’s a long journey. But you’ve come a long way. The finish line is in sight. Good luck;)
Kathy, Great news and congratulations. One more rung in that oh so high ladder.
It is a long trip and I’m still plodding along behind you asking the same questions you asked yourself and slowly making my story the best that it can be.
My best wishes to you and your memoir. May the rest of journey be speedy and filled with delight. I’m looking forward to reading the result.
Congratulations on getting this close. I cheer you on to the finish line, even though I’m way back at the starting point. You are running a good race, but you are also cheering for others along the way. What a positive way to do this!
Stay the course!
Dear Sharon, Welcome to my blog. Your good wishes and note of encouragement are greatly appreciated. I feel so strongly that we all need to help each other in this daunting task of sharing our life stories. We all have to start somewhere so “being at your starting point’ is awesome. Thanks so much for stopping by and I hope you’ll keep us posted on your journey. Best wishes in your writing.
Four years is nothing Kathy. It took me seven, and yeah! I’m so glad you liked Dale and Eve as editors.
I always tell audiences when I speak that I was so naive and made fun of writers who took 6 years to write a memoir. I once said, “It should only take a year.” Stupid me!
Anyway, about the “Are we there yet?” I remember in Belize, my husband’s 79-year-old aunt (who was visiting from California) said that over and over on our boat ride from downtown San Pedro, to our house on the island. There was a storm, and we were all frightened, but her repetitive whining made us laugh. Now it’s your turn to get published, so we can read your memoir.
Thanks, Sonia. I said four years and that meant “nose to the grindstone learning craft, etc.” I probably could say it really took 13 years as I took my first writing course in 2000 through Writer’s Digest and dabbled in writing vignettes over the next 9 years. I always felt “I had a book in me” as we all do but it wasn’t until I began to take courses–and realize what did NOT know– that I made any headway. Either way, it is a long journey but if we want it badly enough,we’ll keep writing until we get “there.” I appreciate,as always your ongoing support and cheers!
Kathy, thanks for the update on your progress. I’m calling it “amazing” that it’s only taken you four years to reach this point. I don’t even want to admit how long it’s taken me, ha!
I will be interested in reading your “baby.” The snippets you’ve provided here have piqued my interest, and now I want “the rest of the story.”
Best of luck to you, my friend, as you tackle the next phase of your memoir writer’s journey!
Thanks, Debbie. As I said to Sonia, four years doesn’t really take into account the 9 years before that when I tinkered aimlessly trying to address my inklings about writing my story–like an itch I couldn’t scratch. LOL. Thankfully, I found many mentors along the way, such as yourself, to guide me to this point. I will be thrilled to finally give “birth to this baby.”:-)
Kathy,
Congratulations on making it to this point in the journey. Your hard work will certainly pay off – mostly in knowing that you did all you could to make the memoir the best it could be. And readers will appreciate your dedication to making their experience more enjoyable. Lots of great insights in this post for writers of all stripes.
Dear Eleanor, Thank you! So many before me, such as yourself, have shown me the way to this juncture. I greatly appreciate your ongoing support and presence on my journey. I’m so glad you stopped by and appreciate your comments. I know this next phase will have its own set of challenges but I’m ready to move forward. Onward!
Dear Kathy, congratulations on getting this far and hanging in on your writing journey. I am truly looking forward to reading your memoir. Keep going!
Thanks,Andrea! I know it is possible because I have learned from so many others, such as yourself, about walking the walk and making it happen. I appreciate your support along the way.
Kathy, I believe you have an important story to tell and that your readers will be gratified to know they are not alone. I still remember that aha! moment at IWWG when we sat outside on a summer evening getting ready to go inside for author readings and the title popped out and became clear to you . . . Ever Faithful to His Lead. I see a book cover with a woman standing alone at one end of a dance floor. Best of luck to you on this next leg of the journey, but remember this. .. the hard part, the soul-searching, the stuff that really matters has been accomplished. As we say in the Circle, Job well done! Now enjoy what comes next.
Susan, You have been my trustworthy guide all along the way, especially in encouraging me to keep digging deeper and finding the crucial takeaways for the reader. It is not a coincidence that I found my long sought after title in your presence. It truly was a pivotal “aha” moment that has had staying power. Actually,it keeps growing stronger with time. Thanks for your words of encouragement about what has already been accomplished. Sometimes that gets lost in the anticipation of this next phase. I’m ready to keep moving forward so I can reach my goal of publishing and move on to memoir #2. Thanks for everything. 🙂
Kathy, I am so excited for you. You are such an inspiration in so many ways, not just your memoir writing. I look forward to reading my autographed copy sooner than later.
Christina
Christina, How nice to hear from you! I have thought of you so often and hope school is going well. Yes, “sooner than later” sounds like a good plan. Talk soon and good luck with the rest of your semester. Can’t wait to catch up. Kathy
Congratulations, Kathy! The quote you used – from the agent, made me smile. I’ve been struggling with, not a paragraph, not a sentence, not even a phrase. I’ve been struggling with a word. The word is “psyche.” I know it’s not quite right, but my brain just can’t seem to grasp and keep hold of the better word. Ah, the life of a writer! Again, congrats! So proud of you! ~Karen
Thanks so much for your support and good wishes, Karen. I so appreciate you stopping by. As far as struggling with a word,I feel your pain as I’m sure every writer does!
Way to go Kathy! 🙂 You’re definitely a trooper and that is one of your hallmarks. You’re also supportive of others, so I’ll add that to the Kathy list with gratitude. Congratulations! As they say, the writer’s (artist, dancer, poet, gardener, crafts-person) journey is never finished. It’s always-what’s next? Looking forward to reading your book. Carry on!
Thanks so much for your words of support and encouragement, Sue. I think we’re all troopers in this never-ending search for creative expression. Your comments remind me of a quote (can not recall the author):”Being a writer means having an assignment every day of your life.” Amen and onward to us all! 🙂
What a perfect metaphor for this process Kathy; you made it come alive for me. And, as I hope we’ve all learned by this point in our lives, “it’s not the destination, its the journey.” My very best wishes as you continue on this journey. I too look forward with eager anticipation to reading your (first) memoir.
Thanks, Janet. We’re all in this crazy, wonderful journey together(thankfully!) and I’m looking forward to reading your memoir as well. Best wishes as you move forward in your journey.:-)