Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Joe Bunting/@joebunting
“I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what.” — Atticus Finch, To Kill a Mockingbird
It is my pleasure to feature author, writing coach and founder of The Story Cartel, Joe Bunting in this guest post. Joe and I met through his Story Cartel Course which I highly recommend for any writer who wants to “increase their audience, create industry connection and build a strong foundation for a writing career.”
Welcome, Joe!
Why Fear Is the Key to Unlock Your Best Writing
When was the last time you felt fear? Not horror movie fear or roller coaster fear. I’m talking about the kind of fear you experience before your first day of college or before the birth of your first child, the fear when you first tell someone you love them or when you tell someone you made a terrible mistake.
I’m talking about the gnawing, back-of-your-mind question, “What if this all goes wrong? What if I fail?” You’re standing on a ledge, looking down at the water 40 feet below, knowing you look silly, that you should just jump, but you’re not sure if you can. It’s taking all your energy just to stay there, looking down, and not run away.
I think we spend too much time avoiding this kind of fear, especially as writers.
The best stories come out of fear. Have you ever noticed how talkative children get after they do something they were afraid of? They can’t help but tell the story, even perfect strangers.
Every good story requires courage. Every single one. If you’re writing about your life and you’re not summoning the courage and facing fear regularly, your writing isn’t going to be very interesting.
What is the most courageous thing you could do today? My wife and I are planning a three-month trip to Europe. Our loose plan is to spend six weeks in Paris, four weeks traveling around Central and Eastern Europe, and then meet our family in Florence, where we’ll rent a villa. It sounds like an amazing trip, the kind of trip you’d be stupid to say no to if you had the chance.
The problem is, we have a five-month-old baby.
In my short tenure as a father, I’ve come to realize having children multiplies fear. My wife and I have both travelled extensively, and while the prospect of a three-month trip to Europe does make me a bit nervous, it’s nothing we can’t handle. However, the idea of traveling with a baby paralyzes me.
I can think of a thousand things that could ruin our trip. What if he cries on the plane? What if we’re robbed and don’t have money for a hotel? What if he throws up in the Louvre?
And yet, which will make a more interesting story? Staying in our comfortable house, with our comfortable routine, sitting on our comfortable couches. Or taking a trip that could change all of our lives, including the life of my son? If both of those stories were books, and you had to choose which one to read, which would you pick?
Courage begins with desire. Of course, having a hard conversation with your spouse can be just as courageous as taking a trip that scares you.
Courage begins the same place good stories do, with the question, “What do you want?” Perhaps you’re thinking of something right now, something you’ve been dreaming about doing but shrugged off because it seemed too difficult.
In the story I’m living, I want to write in the Parisian cafés where Hemingway used to write. I want to take my wife to her favorite city in the world. I want to practice my French so we can become a multi-lingual family.
What do you want? What are you dreaming about? If you achieve this dream, how will you feel?
Today, give yourself permission to chase that desire you’ve shrugged off as impossible. Make a plan, map out the obstacles, and begin.
Will you see it through no matter what? One of my favorite quotes is from Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird:
“I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what.” —Atticus Finch
We sometimes confuse courage with power, but courage is more about beginning, beginning something that might fail, taking a risk on your dreams, on something you believe in. Courage is about beginning something important, and seeing it through no matter what.
Wait a second…. Doesn’t that sound like a story worth reading?
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Thanks, Joe for sharing these timely and inspirational thoughts on stepping outside our comfort zones and finding our own inner strengths. It was in your Story Cartel Course, that I found the courage to get my stories out there more and ask fellow writers to be my beta readers!
Think back to a moment you showed courage. What did you want and why? What made it scary to pursue what you wanted? Did you get what you wanted or not? How did you feel ?
We’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~
This Week:
Saturday, 5/10/14: “A Tribute to Nursing: Happy Nurses’ Week”
Next Week:
Monday, 5/12: “Introducing Ever Faithful to His Lead: The Pubslush Campaign for My Memoir Launches”
Wednesday, 5/14/14: “A Google+ Hangout Interview with Memoir Author Cindi McVey: To Live in Paradise”
You find the best authors and the best quotes, Kathy, specifically the one by Atticus Finch today. I’d like to add another by Eleanor Roosevelt, who admitted to her own self-doubt: “Do one thing every day that scares you.”
A moment I showed courage? Well, leaving my close-knit Mennonite family and culture years ago is one example. Attempting memoir so different from the academic writing have been used to is a current example. As playwright Kaite O’Reilly suggests in her blog: we must “DARE to reach for our ambitions, to express what we really think; to make the best work we can even though this may make us vulnerable.”
Such good advice, Joe. I like your practical examples. I think Rick Steves took his two little kids on European jaunts years ago. You’ll do fine!
Thanks for kicking off the conversation today, Marian! What a treasure trove of quotes you share. I appreciate you stopping by and sharing your thoughts. I agree,Joe brings his points home through his own story. Wishing you continued courage for the journey. 🙂
Great to hear from you, Marian. Two great examples of courage. Leaving family is never easy, something we had to do, at least temporarily, to go to Paris. Thanks for your comment. 🙂
Kathy–thanks for sharing this post and interviewing Joe. Great job.
Joe–enjoying following your courageous adventure in Paris. It’s inspired me to do some things I’m afraid to do myself. Unlike yourself, I haven’t begun them yet, but after this post nudged me forward, I will. Thanks for taking the time out of your hectic schedule to share.
So glad to “see” you, Sarah! Thanks for stopping by.I agree, Joe’s post nudges us all to move forward past our fears to write our best stories. Best wishes in your writing.
Do it, Sarah! It’s time. 🙂
Kathy, thanks for introducing me to Joe. I’m preparing a sermon called “I Love to Tell the Story,” and this emphasis on fear gives me a new slant. Thanks, Joe.
The image that will stay with me is the need to talk after having surmounted fear. And the way in which children instruct us in their exuberant storytelling. “Have you ever noticed how talkative children get after they do something they were afraid of? They can’t help but tell the story, even perfect strangers.”
Hi Shirley, so glad you can use Joe’s “pearls” in your sermon. Oh, yes, we can all learn so much about storytelling from watching children! Thanks for stopping by and good luck with your “I Love to Tell a Story” sermon. 🙂
Sounds like it will be a very interesting sermon, Shirley. Good luck!
It took everything in me to reveal the things my abusive ex-partner had done to me over the span of our relationship. The fear factor that he would hear about it was more frightening than escaping what he had already done.
Sara, that’s a powerful message about the courage it takes to re-visit our past and share it in story form. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your story. Best wishes in your writing journey.
Thank you, Kathy! I thought it very timely to comment with that. It reminded me that courage comes in all kinds of forms.
Thank you for sharing your story, Sarah. I’m sure it helps other women experiencing similar treatment. Courage always bears fruit.
Hi Joe,
That’s what I’m aiming for. I know so many girls and women who are stuck in domestic abuse because they think it will get better. That’s what I thought too. It doesn’t. It gets worse. The saddest part is that they think they’re loved. That’s all they’ve ever known. But it’s not all they have to know. And thank you.
Thank you, Kathy, for this guest post by Joe on a topic writers and so many others avoid.
Joe, thank you for sharing some very personal fears about your trip, being a parent for the first time, and being a writer. I am convinced that my fear of getting it all wrong in my memoir has led me to face a major rewrite. I won’t go into all that brought me to this decision but a part of it was the fear of only showing one side of the dysfunctional issues in my childhood. That fear held me back as I began writing and I had to finish that first draft and then read it through to see that the whole story had not been told. Thanks for confirming that it’s ok to write from fear.
Thanks for stopping by, Sherrey.I appreciate the steps you are taking to rewrite your memoir. You are listening to your muse and sometimes that does take us out of our comfort zone. I truly believe that the story that needs to be told will reveal itself as long as we show up and write, which usually does mean facing the fear and getting on the other side. I always appreciate your perspective and insights. Best wishes as you move forward on your journey.
Hi Sherrey! I think that’s the right way to handle it though. You FINISHED your first draft! That’s such a huge accomplishment, Sherrey. Also, do you think you’re feeling fear or are are you just trying to make sure you get it right?
Wonderful post. Thank you!
We–like children–express in detail our fears, and how we faced them or overcame them. Remnants of the fear remain, but the courage grows. Each time we face a fear or recall facing a fear, the muscle gets stronger, and we are braver.
Welcome, Marylin!It’s so nice to “meet” you. I’m happy you stopped by. Thanks for your insightful comments about finding strength in facing our fears as Joe describes so well in his post. I’ll check out your website.