Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
“What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present and hope for the future.” Charles Dickens, Ebeneezer Scrooge in A Christmas Carol.
Author’s Note: This story has been adapted from the original story posted on Linda K. Thomas’ Spiritual Memoirs 101 blog in December, 2011, “Kathleen”s Christmas Past.”
As Christmas approaches every year, I reflect on many memories of Christmas Past. This particular memory warms my heart and makes me smile as I recall the blessings of growing up Italian and of gathering around a table to share Christmas Eve with my loving family.
Christmas Past: The Feast of the Seven Fishes
The smell of spicy tomato sauce mixed with hearty laughter greet me and my family as we climb the circular staircase to my Nan and Grandpa DiCerbo’s home. We have traveled six hours to join our family for Christmas Eve. When we open the door at the top of the stairs, aunts, uncles, and cousins surround us with warm hugs and loving smiles. I am seven years old and can hardly contain my excitement as I throw off my coat and return the hugs.
We are celebrating Christmas Eve in traditional Italian fashion with the Feast of the Seven Fishes. Christmas Eve in the ancient Catholic Church was a sacred fast day, on which no meat could be consumed.
The table extends the length of the dining room and is adorned with Nan’s finest ivory crocheted tablecloth and gold-rimmed china plates surrounded by sparkling silverware and shiny goblets. Pretty soon, I know the center of the table will be crowded with steaming bowls of pasta, sauce and baccala (salted cod fish), silvery smelt, crab cakes, baked Mackerel, boiled shrimp, trout and calamari (squid).
My seven-year-old taste buds rebel against the fish but I love my Nan’s spicy, warm tomato sauce and homemade pasta. My mouth waters before I even put a forkful of sauce-drenched pasta into my mouth.
I run into the kitchen to see my Nan stirring the sauce. She wipes her hands on her red gingham apron and bends down to wrap her arms around me as we both squeal with excitement.
“Oh, I’m so happy to see you Katarina (my name in Italian),” she says, smiling as she offers me a spoonful of sauce after blowing on it a few times.
The smooth, tomatoe-y sauce slides down my throat and warms my insides.
“This is s-o-o-o good, Nan,” I say as I close my eyes and take in the sweet smell and taste of home.
“Well, it’s ready.” Nan says.
“With that Mom and her sister, my Aunt Rose, begin draining the pasta over the sink, laughing together as the steam clouds Aunt Rose’s eyeglasses. I join the parade of relatives delivering the heaping bowls to the center of the table.
Uncle Freddy, Nan’s brother, pours the homemade red wine from the galloon jugs. Grandpa and his brother, Uncle Vincent have made a new batch from the winemaking press in the basement. I think about how they both came over on the boat from Naples, Italy when they were sixteen and eighteen and wonder how they could ever leave their family in Dugenta behind. I love it when we all get together. There is always laughter.
As Nan places the tomato sauce in the center of the table, Grandpa says grace ,then,smiling, raises his wine glass,
“A saluto!”
Even the children get a small glass of wine. “It’s good for your blood” is the mantra.
I’m sitting between Mom’s brother, my Uncle Michael and my two-year–old brother, Tom. I pass on the yucky calamari, even though the adults are getting seconds. Uncle Freddy places his closed fingers to his lips then fans his fingers out in compliments to Nan.
Before I know it, the bowls are nearly empty and we’re all sitting around with our hands on our bellies. The table is cleared and Mom and Aunt Rose place trays of pears, apples, tangerines and walnuts, almonds and pecans in the shell for dessert.
All the women gather in the kitchen to wash dishes while the men sit around and start playing Pinochle.
When the kitchen is all cleaned up, Aunt Rose heads over to the bay window and motions for the four little cousins, ages two through seven, to come into the living room. “There goes Santa around the corner.”
With noses pressed against the window pain, we see fluffy, white snowflakes falling against the street lights, disappointed we missed him.
We believe with all our hearts though that he was there.
How about you? Do you have a special memory of Christmas Past to share?
I’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Congratulations to book winners, Joan Z Rough and Pat MacKinzie! Joan is the winner of Kristen Lodge’s memoir, Continental Divide and Pat is the winner of Times They Were A-Changing: Women Remember the ’60s and ’70s anthology.
Next Week:
Monday, 12/23/13: “Christmas Blessings, 2013”
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Kathy
Fascinating to see ‘over the garden wall’. Most of my childhood Christmas memories were lost during the war overlaid by a mixture of fear and excitement- initially we used to go down to the cellar and as the bombs dropped we got covered in whitewash! But in 1947 we had our last family Christmas when 53 adults and children were fitted into the farmhouse and I remember Uncle Bill (later lost at sea on his trawler) bringing two or three massive codfish, while another uncle killed chickens and us kids did the de-feathering job – outdoors in mid December! Plentyof vegetables all cooked on the Aga stove ….again we kids brought in the coal for it as our contribution to the fun. Not many presents, just glad that most of the relatives had survived. I do remember Uncle Arthur and Aunt Renee giving me a handbuilt sailing ship which I kept for years. Gran and Grandpa died within two years and the fun went out of it……
Dave, What a treasure of Christmas memories you share from 1947. Even though that was the last time your family was all together, nobody can take these precious memories away from you. You paint a portrait of a time when family was the focus, not how many gifts you received.Thank you so much for stopping by to share your Christmas Past.May you find joy in the memories this Christmas.
I think I remember reading this post when you put it up originally, Kathy. And it was good to read it again, thinking about all the good times we have had as online friends since that time, and also thinking about the beauty of different family traditions. Even within the same faith, we celebrate according to the cultures in which we were brought up. I love that. Blessings to you and yours this Christmas, and may 2014 bring you great joy in ways expected and unexpected.
Shirley, It has been a delight to share in the rich traditions of our individual cultures over these past few years. Thank you,as always, for adding your insightful perspective to the conversation. Wishing you and your family many blessings of the season and a New Year filled with new possibilities.
I love how the story combines traditions from the Old Country and the contemporary one. This post reminds me also of the effectiveness of using present tense to recall past events: It just puts the reader right there!
Thank you for all your inspiring stories and tips this year. I can always rely on your blog for stimulating content.
Interesting, Marian. When I wrote this I automatically used the present tense. I think I wanted to re-live the story! I’m happy you feel like you were there with me. And thank you for your supportive feedback. It has been a pleasure to have you join us “around my kitchen table.” 🙂
Loved this when I first read it and I still love it. It captures those incredible family bonds that are passed from one generation to the next through the traditions that define us.
Thanks,Pat.I think visiting Grandpa’s family in Dugenta in September really made this special memory even more special. I am waiting for my story to be translated so I can send it to them. You are right, “the family bonds that are passed from one generation to the next through traditions really do define us.”
We recently started the tasting of the fish tradition – getting many kinds of fish, eating a bite or two and then deciding if we liked it or not. The kids think that is great.
Not all Christmas memories are happy. I just finished a chapter in my memoir where, after the courts removed me from my house and put me in custody of my sister, she decided the kids needed their grandparents. I had to go back to the house of abuse, and “celebrate” Christmas with family. Brought back memories and terror. When I was growing up holidays were not my friend. I used to count hours, minutes and seconds until I could return to the safety of my classes in school. School was safer than home.
Dear Heather, I am so sorry your childhood memories are painful. You bring up an excellent point–not every one has a loving, happy Christmas Past. In fact, the holidays can be the most difficult time of the year for many. It sounds like you are starting some new traditions. Hopefully they will become part of your Christmas Past. I think of it as re-framing the memories from negative to positive. Wishing you and your family happy, new Christmas memories.Thanks very much for stopping by and sharing your story.
Blessings, Kathy
I remember reading this before, Kathy, and I marvel at your sensory descriptions. I can practically taste my own Italian grandmother’s delicious pasta (though I don’t think we ever did the fish and certainly not calamari!) and her scrumptious fried bread dripping with butter! You have a wonderful way of bringing in your reader, making him feel right there at home! I love the descriptions of the utensils and the table setting; did your grandmother have a certain “scent,” too? I found myself wanting to be enveloped in my dear grandma’s “Shower-to Shower” scent!
Debbie, I’m thrilled this story brought you in touch with your own precious memories of your Italian grandmother. That is the best compliment I could ever receive! What an interesting question about my grandmother’s scent.I’d have to say tomato sauce and garlic as she was always cooking! Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. Have a wonderful Christmas. Hope Domer is able to make it home this year now that he is a working man. 🙂
Kathy,
Enjoyed reading your story. Thanks for sharing your precious childhood memories, I felt as if I was right there with you.
Merry Christmas,
Sweet Blessings,
Wanda
Dear Wanda, I’m so happy you felt you were right there with me. How I miss those days but the memories will always be there to re-live and cherish. Thanks for stopping by. Christmas blessings to you and yours, too.
What wonderful memories you have as a young child spending Christmas with your Italian family. I enjoyed reading this. I could picture everything.
Merry Christmas!
Susan Bernhardt
Thanks so much for your kind words, Susan. Merry Christmas to you, too! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
Lovely, Kathy. Your descriptions of Italian cooking make my mouth water. I can almost see the table, too, with the gorgeous place settings, sparkling in the light. It was turkey and stuffing – mashed potatoes and lots and lots of cheese and crackers and cocktails before dinner in our house on Christmas. My mother’s sister who suffered from schizophrenia would be with us. It wasn’t always cheery, but it was family which is what matters. You would find me sitting under the Christmas tree paging through that new book, holding it close and longing to tiptoe off, go up to my room and start reading. It’s wonderful how our stories connect us and prompt us to remember our own lives. Thank you for sharing.
My pleasure, Susan. I love how our stories connect us to one another and trigger our own memories. I can just see you sitting under the Christmas tree, paging through your new book! Thanks for stopping by.
Oh how that story brought back so many memories for me. That was beautiful Kathy, and you have a way of putting us right in that story that I almost could taste and smell that pasta. I am so happy you got to visit Grandpa’s family in Dugenta. May you have a very Merry Christmas and make your own memories with your grandchildren.
I’m so happy to see you here, Jean! I knew you and Jimmy could relate to this story. I had written a version of it two years ago but meeting Grandpa’s family in Dugenta made this memory even more special this year. And what a special Christmas you have to celebrate– 50 years together. I’m thrilled Wayne and I got to be a part of your 50th anniversary celebration in Italy. Talk about memories! Have a beautiful Christmas with your family.
Thank you for another lovely post, Kathy
Makes me wish I’d grown up Catholic and Italian instead of the Scot and Protestant. Sounds like you had a lot more fun.
I’ve had a soft spit on my heart for large, noisy family gatherings and feasts since seeing them in the movies I finally found it in Kazakhstan
LOL, Janet. Yes, it was wonderful to sit around a table with my large, noisy family. I think if we don’t come by that naturally, we can find it elsewhere, like you did in Kazakhstan. When my kids and I lived far away from family, our friends became our family. Thanks for stopping by and joining me in celebrating this special memory.
Kathy, I enjoyed reading this childhood memory. It was very heartwarming.
Thanks so much for stopping by, Andrea. I’m happy you enjoyed the story. Sharing it helps me re-live the special memory!
Hi Kathy,
Buon Natale!
I feel full just reading this! I may add a pasta dish to our Christmas meal now! Looking out the window and trying to see Santa reminds me of a time I used to share with my uncle. He used to take me for a walk to try to see Rudolph’s nose. (Which was an airplane in reality), but it was fun! Paige
Grazie, Paige! What a precious memory you share about looking for Rudolph’s nose with your uncle. I love it! I appreciate you stopping by. Buon Natale to you and yours too!
Lovely … thanks for sharing it with us.!
My pleasure, Mary. I’m happy you enjoyed it.
Kathy, what a lovely story. You brought back some heartwarming memories for me also. We celebrated on Christmas Eve with the seven fishes also. Of course, I was never fond of fish and had a tuna fish sandwich. Pretty crazy! Thanks for a beautiful tribute to your Italian heritage.
Barb
Barb, It’s wonderful hear from you! I had no idea you celebrated this tradition,too. I do remember, as a child, rebelling against all that fish.:-) Thanks so much for stopping by and I wish you and your family a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Kathy, this telling has become richer with the second sharing. Your sensory descriptions take me into Nan’s kitchen and I can smell that tomato sauce. And when it courses down your throat and warms you, I can almost feel it! You have a deeper sense of tradition, I believe, since your trip to Italy, and it shows in this story. So glad you were willing to share it a second time.
Wishes to you, Wayne and the rest of your family for a Merry Christmas and happy 2014.
Thanks so much, Sherrey. You are right, I did feel a deeper connection to this story since meeting my grandpa’s family in Italy this year. I’m so glad you felt that. Thanks very much for stopping by. Wishing you and Bob a beautiful Christmas and New Year!
What a wonderful childhood memory, Kathy. The memory I’m sharing on my blog today is about how waffles became our traditional Christmas Eve meal. A tradition that started when I was pre-teen and continues today. http://carolbodensteiner.com/a-waffle-iron-for-christmas/
Merry Christmas!
Thanks, Carol. I appreciate you stopping by. It seems food plays a key role in these precious memories. Thanks for sharing your link. I’ll hop on over to read your Christmas Past memory. Merry Christmas to you and your family.