Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
“A person without knowledge of their past history, origin and culture is like a tree without roots.” Marcus Garvey
Every year from the time I was seven years old until I graduated from high school, I spent the entire summers in Schenectady, New York with my maternal grandparents, Carmella (Nan) and Alfredo DiCerbo. Grandpa had come over from Dugenta-a small mountain village near Naples-on the USS Calabria out of Naples in 1900 with his brother, Vincenzo. His family farmed tomatoes and grapes but Alfredo and Vincenzo wanted to find more lucrative work in America. They sold their portion of the farm to relatives and took off for the land of opportunity.
The brothers married American-born Italian women and settled across the street from one another. They were very close for their entire lives. They often spoke of longing to see their family in Dugenta. Uncle Vincenzo traveled back to Italy several times with his family but my Grandpa never did. He relied on phone calls and letters to stay in touch.
The happy memories of Grandpa DiCerbo’s kindness and fun-loving nature still make me smile. I can still see him sitting on the back porch in the dark on a hot, summer night listening, to the Yankee game on the radio and spewing out his reactions in Italian. He loved his Yankees. He also loved Chester from the TV show, Gunsmoke. The vision of him standing in the living room, mimicking Chester’s limp and laughing as his gold–capped front tooth glistened still makes me chuckle. But my best memory is of his unbridled excitement when he’d receive a letter from his family with updates and pictures from “the old country.” He would get so excited he’d start rattling off something in Italian that I never understood. But I felt his uncontained joy.
I often wondered how difficult it must have been for him to leave his family at the age of 16 and never see them again.
For years, I longed to visit Italy myself. Mom’s brother and sister, my Uncle Michael and Aunt Rose had traveled to Italy with their families and visited with the extended family several times, bringing back pictures and tales of standing in the bedroom where Grandpa was born. They were greeted with warmth and love.
On Easter Sunday, they have a tradition of opening the window and raising their glasses of homemade Strega (an Italian Liqueur), sending their blessings to their famiglia in America. Salute!
I just returned from the land of my grandfather. From 9/9-9/19, my husband Wayne and I traveled to Rome, Pompeii, The Amalfi Coast, Florence and Venice. All spectacular sites to behold. But nothing could compare to the experience of connecting with Grandpa’s birthplace and the family he loved so dearly.
On Friday, September 13 ( no I’m not superstitious!) we rented a limousine from Benevenuto Limousines and a delightful interpretor named Maurizio made my dreams come true. For months before our visit, a lovely lady names Barbara helped me communicate with the family by translating letters. I visited the nieces and nephews of Grandpa DiCerbo in Dugenta and clearly , they were prepared for our visit:
We walked around what seemed like a self-contained village surrounded by fig and kiwi trees, grapevines and a few chickens wandering around in fenced-in yards. Then, we saw a lady at the window who motioned for us to use the front door. It was Marie, Grandpa’s niece. She showed me the bedroom and bed where Grandpa was born.
The phone started ringing and before we knew it, we were walking down the lane to visit Vittorio and his wife who was wheel-chaired bound. By the time this visit was over, we had been served Expresso coffee and cookies and were off to visit Luigi and his wife, Maria. Within an hour 20 people had shown up at Luigi’s house for nonstop hugs and chatter–from every direction. Maurizio was very busy!
Then came the five-course meal:
Prosuitto and fresh bread
Pasta with tomato sauce and sides of stuffed peppers and sausage
Roast beef that filled each plate and salad
Homemade Tiramasu
Fresh Fruit-nectarines, grapes and figs
And of course white wine and lemons from the region
I had to keep reminding my husband that refusing any food at an Italian table was not acceptable, I had grown up with these multi-course meals so I knew what to expect. Needless to say, we didn’t have to eat again until the next day.
We shared stories and pictures of our families along with laughter and tears as people streamed in and out. Some were on their lunch hours.
They opened their hearts to us and showered us with gifts–bottles of liqueur, baseball caps, linen table clothes, and a dozen pink roses:
If I closed my eyes, I was ten years old again, sitting around the table filled with lots of delicious food and feeling the warmth and love of the big Italian family I am blessed to be a part of. And I could see that gold-capped tooth glistening as Grandpa threw his head back and laughed while chattering on in Italian.
It doesn’t get much better than this–reconnecting with my roots was truly the highlight of my Italian tour.
Molto Bello!
How about you? Have you reconnected with your roots?
I’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~
Thursday, 9/26: Viki Noe, author of Friend Grief series will discuss ” Divide and Conquer: Turning My Book into a Series” Viki has graciously offered to give three of her books away to three commenters who will be selected in a random drawing.
Kathy, your account of this reunion, together with pictures, brings tears to my eyes. Thanks for taking me along on this anchoring visit.
Kathy, your account of this reunion, together with pictures, brings tears to my eyes. Thanks for taking me along on this anchoring visit. I do not have the opportunity for such reunions. All my ancestors have been on this side of the ocean for over a century — many came before the Revolution. They all scattered so much that we never had the sort of close family ties you describe. The closest I have come is visiting with a few of my mothers cousins that I did know as a child. So I especially appreciate the chance to feel a bit included in your big family.
Sharon, writing this account brought tears to my eyes, too. It was a very emotional and gratifying visit. I think anytime we return to our roots, physically or emotionally, we experience deep feelings. I’m so grateful to have had this experience and am happy you enjoyed hearing about it. It will always be with me. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
Kathy, What a joyful occasion. It made me long for such an event in my life, but like Sharon, my family was never very close. I still have a few cousins around but we see each other very rarely. When I saw my cousin, Maryanne, 2 years ago it was the first time I’d seen her in some 50 years. It was also a joyous time and I wish I could have more of those.
Joan, Yes, it was very joyful to feel such a strong connection through my grandfather. When we reconnect with even one person from our past, like you did with your cousin,Maryanne, it is a meaningful encounter. I hope you get a few more times together. Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your story.
Sigh, your beautiful account and pictures brought tears to my eyes, Kathy. How I wish I, or more so Mom, could have been there with you. Great job!
Paula, It brought tears to my eyes both during and after the visit. I kept wishing Mom was there, too. We talked a lot about her and we shared pictures so she was there in spirit. Glad you enjoyed the account. Make sure Mom sees it!
Kathy,
Your travel story and gorgeous photos took me with you on your journey. Italy is a destination I have long dreamed of reaching. If my dream never comes true, I can read this lovely piece.
Now I taste the wine and lemons and savor tiramisu with you after walking along the streets of Dugenta.
Magnifico, Diana! I’m so happy you enjoyed my journey. I know you are adventuresome as I just finished your lovely memoir, A Life in the Day of a Lady Salesman I enjoyed it very much and will do a review soon.I can see you booking a tour to Italy. For me, it was a dream come true and I hope the same for you. I’m looking forward to your guest post in November. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
Kathy –
I’m so envious, especially since I’m the family genealogist!
Cousins of my mom’s went to Belgrade before the war in the 90s and there were still some family there. No idea if there are any left.
On my Dad’s side, I can scratch off Sicily: my great-grandmother lied about so many things (age, number of husbands), all research is tentative at best.
But late one night online, I found the great-great grand daughter of my great-great grandfather’s oldest brother. She confirmed and shared some family stories, and for the first time, I learned the name of the town in Alsace where we still have family. Next year, if my daughter does indeed do a semester in Paris, I’ll go with and take the train to Strasbourg and then drive to Herrlischeim. I can only hope I have half the welcome you’ve had!
Viki, You are one determined family genealogist and I have no doubt you will find “your people.” When you do, I hope you will receive the warm welcome I received. I had names and addresses since my aunt and uncle had been there so I was able to communicate via mail through an interpreter before I arrived. They were ready for us. But my Aunt and Uncle both did cold calls and received the same warm welcome. Good Luck!
Love this post so much, Kathy. The picture of the bed your grandfather was born in just undid me. I too have had the pleasure of going back to the home country. For me it is Switzerland, where the Hirschis (Hersheys in this country) lived until the 1660’s.
I love your quote at the beginning and have found it to be true in my own life. Next time I go back to Switzerland (possibly next summer), I want to be taking my memoir as gifts to my hosts and possibly even speak to others interested in the life of one whose ancestors took a lonesome journey many, many years ago.
Thanks for sharing this moving tribute to the power of the roots that connect all of us to each other.
Shirley, I’m so happy you enjoyed my story. How wonderful to give your memoir as gifts when you return to your homeland next summer. BLUSH is a lasting tribute to your roots. I find it very humbling to reconnect with my ancestors and all the hardships they endured. The ties to our past are precious reminders of their sacrifices. Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
welcome bcd they. what a wonderful visit you had! thank u for sharing
Thank you, Audrey. The experience is still with me and I’m happy to share it!
Terrific story, Kathy. My husband and I have been to Germany a number of times to visit his cousins who still farm the Bodensteiner family farm in Bavaria. The first time we went there, we went to the field where David’s second cousin was working. When the two stood side by side, I had to laugh. They could have been brothers – the family resemblance was so strong. The whole family was so welcoming. We enjoyed many meals with them. We are still searching for German and English relatives on my side.
Carol, I know what you mean about family resemblance. One of Grandpa’s nephews looked just like him and another nephew insisted I looked just like a cousin.So glad you were able to experience a return to your roots. And enjoying a home-cooked meal together is the ultimate. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I hope your ongoing search will be successful.
Wow!!! My great-grandparents were from Oliveto Citra, small town in the hills outside Naples! We went to Naples from a cruise ship and wanted to get a train to Herculeum, but were accosted by a Naples cabbie. My husband, solidly Norwegian, didn’t know how to handle his aggressive, showing him all the reasons we should take his cab instead of a train, though you’d think after being married to me for 43 years, he’d know how to stand strong. So different from Scandinavian “way!” I felt my ancestors alive through this cabbie!! Italy has lots of oppression in its history, so survival is a way of life for many. Loved reading your post and will read it again, when I get back to my computer!
Louise, How sad your visit to Herculeum was thwarted. We were warned continually about being careful, especially in Naples. I hired a private limousine and translator which I believe made a difference. We got scammed by a local cabbie in Maoiri( Amalfi Coast) 10 Euro to go a short distance. Like my husband said, everything is designed to get rid of your Euros. I’m so glad you enjoyed my story. It was a dream come true and will linger in my heart forever. Thanks for stopping by!
Kathy, what an emotional journey this must have been. I felt every moment with tears in my eyes. As someone who was displaced from family, I connected to your story in a deep way. Thank you for sharing.
Oh, Lorenzo, I can’t even imagine how difficult it was for you to be separated from your family and homeland, especially at such a young age. I know my grandpa longed for his family in “the old country”his entire life. One of the nieces tearfully mentioned how hard it was to have my grandpa and his brother leave and she hadn’t even been born when they left. That loss was felt throughout the generations until today. Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. We all long to be connected to our roots.
Kathy, this just might be my most favorite of your posts thus far! Besides sharing a connection to Italy myself (on my mom’s side), I love how you took me there in spirit. I could hear the laughter, feel the warmth, see the loving faces of family, and even taste the delicious spread! How fortunate you and Wayne are to have taken this once-in-a-lifetime trip — and how much it’s going to help your memoir writing!! Expanding our horizons truly is the best way to fill our minds and hearts with memories and give us plenty to draw on as writers. Thank you for reminding me that a trip to Sicily is on my Bucket List!
Yes, Debbie, you must put Sicily on your bucket list! It is such a powerful experience to reconnect with one’s roots. I’m happy you enjoyed the post and felt you were there “in spirit.” It was truly a dream come true for me and I am grateful. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. When I share the story, I re-live the joy.:-)
Oh Kathy, this brought tears to my eyes and reminded me so much of my reconnection with my Norwegian family. Like your grandfather, my grandpa, Gustav, never returned to his homeland. His sister had finally saved up enough money to come to America to visit him, but he died suddenly of cancer. Unfortunately, then due to language barriers, my widowed grandma, struggling to raise a family alone, lost contact with the Norwegian side of the family. Decades later, we were reconnected by that same sister who relocated us. My mom made several trips to Norway where she was treated like royalty much like your reception in Italy. Twenty-two years ago, I made my own pilgrimage to Narvik and connected with fjords full of cousins. The memories of that trip are imprinted in my soul. I am so glad you had the chance to experience this in Italy.
What a heart wrenching story of re-connection, Pat. I can’t help but marvel at the courage of our ancestors to move from their homeland and family to another country. I’m so happy you and our mom have been able to travel back and see your family. It is truly a powerful experience. So glad you enjoyed the post. Thanks so much, as always, for stopping by and sharing your story.
Such a beautiful story, Kathy, and so thrilled for you! Makes me sad that I have never seen my mother’s side of the family or visited Japan. I would need a translator and lots of money. I know it hurt my mom to see her beloved sister only every 10-20 years. If I went to Japan, though, I would see nothing left of what my mom lived, but maybe the tattered, haunted remains of Johnson Air Base through barbed wire. I don’t really have my dad’s little side of the family here in the States either, but I was excited to one day see the house where he was born and the schools he went to – he was really excited to show me, too!
Thanks, Linda. I’m happy you enjoyed my story. I’m glad you were able to get a glimpse into your dad’s past by seeing the house where he was born and the schools he attended.Every little piece of our history is precious. I hope you do get to Japan someday.
Bravo, Kathy! What a grand opportunity, to meet family members for the first time and to see the bed your grandfather was born in! That is unreal, and I am so excited for you! This is a beautifully written story, full of sensory detail. I think you could write a book just about this experience–maybe start with a magazine article. I’m so glad you made this fantastic journey! I can’t even imagine the feelings you must have experienced along the way.
Hi Libbye! It’s great to hear from you. Yes, it was a fabulous moment in time and every time I share the story, I feel like I re-live the joy. I appreciate your kind feedback and encouragement to submit to a magazine. I would love to keep this story alive. Thanks!
Kathy, Wonderful . . . finding in a small Italian village the past, the present and your “memoir moment.” Thank you for sharing this portrait. And the food . . . ah yes, the Italians are some of the finest cooks in the world taking it to the level of art! My sons have carried on the rich tradition of their Italian forebears with fantastic gravies, and other dishes, not just Italian food.
Thanks Susan. You really nailed the description about cooking( and eating) in Italy being an art. How wonderful that your handsome sons are carrying on their Italian traditions. And you are right, visiting a small Italian village in the midst of all those tourist’s attractions was the highlight of my Italian tour. Thanks for stopping by!
Kathy, welcome home!!!! What a great blog. Can’t wait to hear more about everything!
Thanks, Christina. My greatest expectations were exceeded with this trip. Can’t wait to share of it more with you!
What an incredible journey. I’m so glad you were able to experience this reunion. Returning to my roots would lead me in two completely different directions. My mother’s branch would lead to Scotland, and my father’s would lead to some country in Africa. But I don’t actually know of any relatives in either place, so I guess I’ll be vacationing with the kinfolk in Arkansas again. Hey, roots is roots!
You bet, Nancy and every little root is important. We take what we can get. Enjoy your Arkansas kinfolk and thanks for stopping by.
Kathy…Thanks so much for telling us this wonderful experience with Grandpa`s family!I loved it and must admit that it brought tears to my eyes.In your descriptions,I could still hear my Mom telling me the same things!! Beautiful!!So happy for you that you were able to meet these wonderful relatives of ours!!Thanks so much,again! Hugs and kisses,cuz!!
Michele, They remembered your mom and Robert. Such warm, loving people. It was very emotional. One of Grandpa’s nephews, Luigi’s wife reminded me so much of Sizzy. It made me feel like I was a little girl again sitting around the table as they all laughed and spoke Italian. I could feel Grandpa’s presence. I have a video to share when we get together. Hugs and kisses back!
Can`t wait to see the video!!
Bravo Kathy, Bravo ! What a great account of a wonderfully sentimental trip. I’m next !
Thanks, Gary! Good for you. You won’t regret it.It was a beautiful trip.
Oh, Kathy, I’m so thrilled you were able to reconnect with your familia Italia! Unfortunately, I have no ancestors or relatives still living abroad nor does Bob. When I was born, three of my four grandparents were already dead, so I didn’t even get to know them. Cousins live in various parts of the country, but we were never a close, close family so not much contact now. In fact, I’m closer to Bob’s family than my own. But I have vicariously enjoyed this celebration through the joy in your words and the love evident in your photos.
Blessings,
Sherrey
Sherrey, I realize how blessed I am to have been able to meet and hug the nieces and nephews of my maternal grandfather. They hadn’t ever met him because he left Italy at age 16 yet we all felt so connected when we met. The stories and memories lived on through several generations. That’s the beauty of keeping our family stories alive. So happy you enjoyed my visit vicariously! I love to share it as every time I do, I re-live the joy.
Hi Kathy! I so enjoyed reading this after years of hearing about your family through NAMW classes. What a treat to see the photos and to share the joy on all your faces. Your ability to share your Grandpa DiCerbo’s family with all of us, is a natural gift. I loved seeing the generations around the table, the Dugenta neighborhood, the luscious food, the conception bed :-)…all of it worked so well. Hope your Wayne enjoyed himself too. Complimenti! Ciao bella mia!
Thanks, Sue. It was the absolute highlight of my trip, a dream come true. They made me feel so connected. Now I want to keep going back, which I do in my mind frequently. I’m thrilled to have you meet my famiglia.:-) I have to say I was quite pleased with myself for getting Wayne off the farm and he did have a good time!