A guest post by Laura Dennis/@LauraDennisCA posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
“Revision is one of the exquisite pleasures of writing.” Bernard Malamud
I am very pleased to feature Memoirist Laura Dennis again in this guest post on re-launching her memoir, Adopted Reality. My book reviews are on Amazon and Goodreads.
Laura has been here twice before with these popular posts : “Why I Chose to Write a Memoir as Opposed to Fiction” and “Reflections on Trauma in Memoir: A 9/11 Tribute.” This week, she shares her journey of revising her memoir in the Digital Age of publishing
Welcome back, Laura!
All authors revise; we want to, and we have to. Our writing–if it is to be more than a personal journal–is meant to be read.
Before this “New Age of Digital Publishing,” a book was a book was a book. Once it was printed, on paper … pretty much, that-was-that. Publishers would not agree to a new edition mere months after the first one, just so the author could add a few bits. It was cost-prohibitive and generally, simply not done.
All of that has changed. Whether or not we call it a new edition, a re-release, or reprinting, authors are able to tweak their ebooks. Even paperbacks can be updated with relative ease, given the availability of print-on-demand. I use Createspace, for example.
When I first published Adopted Reality, a Memoir, I wanted it proofread and coherent, a good story … but I also wanted it out there. I wanted to be a published author, come hell or high-water. I did absolutely NO pre-launch marketing, social networking, what have you. I had my priorities, and yes, initial sales suffered for it.
Revision. Re-vision. Discovering a new vision.
For this re-launch of the 2nd Edition of my memoir, I had two purposes.
First, I knew I needed to “beef up” the endorsements in the front. I needed back matter. I needed “social media outlets” such as links to Twitter, Facebook and my blog.
I wanted a way to get readers engaged, to keep them as readers–of my blog and of future books. All of that was fairly straight-forward extremely daunting. It required healthy doses of gumption and legwork.
The second, and I would have to say, even more difficult purpose was to revise the memoir itself. I received feedback from readers that they wondered “if I’d made it” ... As in, following my 2001 bipolar breakdown, was I able to remain (relatively) sane and out of the hospital? If yes, then–how did I actually go about recovering?
Darn it, to heck, I thought. Let’s be honest. I may have used more evocative four-letter words.
I don’t know the answer to this. Long-term recovery from a bipolar breakdown is not easy, and I can’t say that I’m completely “cured.” That’s simply not how it works, at least for me. Learning to manage my depression, mania, hypomania, and something I’m only know recognizing as “mixed states”–well, it’s a huge job. I don’t have many insights.
Seriously, writing about my recovery … over the last twelve years? That’s fodder for a whole additional book, and I may need a degree in psychology to figure it all out!
The elusive “satisfying ending”
How I went about discussing my recovery to give readers not only a satisfying ending, but also some knowledge about living with bipolar disorder … it took time to figure out.
I wanted Adopted Reality to continue to exist as a “slice of life” memoir. The fantastical elements of my mental breakdown needed to have a beginning, middle and end. This can be one of the hardest aspects of memoir–finding an ending that feels complete and adequate for the reader … when the main character has a whole lot of life left to live!
Even so, the reader feedback was sound, especially because it came from fellow memoirists! I needed to give more details about how I struggled after being released from the mental hospital, how I succeeded in earning an MFA from a prestigious dance program, as a scholarship student who should otherwise be at the top of her dancing career. [If only it weren’t for this pesky mental illness.] This early recovery aspect needed to be shown with its attendant relapses and setbacks, warts-and-all.
I had to admit to myself was that while writing about delusions was fun and interesting; chronicling the arduous path to stability and sanity was decidedly not. The two years following my descent into madness were some of the most difficult times of my life. While I was supposed to be living my dream in California–reunited with my first mom, pursuing my love of dance–I was broken and beaten-down, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
But, I did it.
I sat down and I forced the writing out of me. I believe the 2nd edition of Adopted Reality is a better memoir for it. I’ve learned so much in the last year from other memoirists, such as Kathy Pooler, and from a social network of writers, fellow adoptees, and bloggers. Kathy was one of the first non-family-members who validated that my memoir was what she called, “a stunning psychological thriller.”
Beyond mere revision, this too is the power of the online digital age–connecting with kindred spirits, finding meaning in our own writing lives, and sharing that knowledge with others.
* * *
Laura Dennis was adopted in New Jersey, raised in Maryland, and learned how to be a (sane) person in California. A professionally trained dancer, Laura also worked as sales director for a biotech startup. With two children under the age of three, in 2010 she and her husband sought to simplify their lifestyle and escaped to his hometown, Belgrade, Serbia. While the children learned Serbian in their cozy preschool, Laura recovered from sleep deprivation and wrote Adopted Reality, a Memoir, available on Amazon.
She currently blogs at Expat (Adoptee) Mommy. Connect with her on twitter @LauraDennisCA, or email laura@adoptedrealitymemoir.com.
Thank you, Laura for sharing your memoir writer’s journey with us and for showing us how writing is rewriting. I appreciate how you kept your reader in mind as you revised.
Laura will give a copy of her memoir to a commenter whose name will be selected in a random drawing.
How about you? What makes you decide to revise what you have written? Do you ask for reader feedback? As a reader, what makes you want to keep turning the pages of a book?
We’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~
Next Week: Memoir Author Nancy Stephan, The Truth About Butterflies, will discuss Narrative Medicine: ” A Tale of Two Men and a Four-letter Word.”
This is a great interview and fascinating topic!! I have had the same feeling about my own writing. If I could just “get it out there” it would at least start its journey in the world. It seems so kind and lovely to have these second chances. Thanks for the interview Kathleen. This is a great series by the way. I love your interviews and search for the deeper truths of memoirs. And thanks Laura for taking advantage of the Internet age and epublishing to update your memoir and to explain how it is an ongoing vital part of your life. It’s one of the fascinating differences between memoirs and other forms of storytelling. Fiction writers write more and more titles to keep their readers happy but memoir writers have one life and have an enormous sense of responsibility to tell it well.
Best wishes,
Jerry
Memory Writers Network
It’s always great to have you stop by Jerry. I love your perspective, “memoir writers have one life and have an enormous sense of responsibility to tell it well” as Laura has shown so clearly in her remarks. I love how she has focused on her readers to update her memoir. It’s all part of the “Memoir Revolution”, coined,created and gaining momentum through your own passionate endeavors to give credence to the genre. I do believe the revolution is coming of age. I am thrilled to be a part of it and to feature the fine work of so many talented memoir writers such as Laura. We can all learn so much from one another. Thank you for lighting the fire and serving as a guiding light to us all.
Jerry,
Thanks so much for commenting. Although I’m aware you were talking about second chances in general, looking back over the guest post, I feel I need to point out that for the 1st edition, I DID use a few beta readers and a professional editor. It’s not as if I just exhaled at the ending line and pressed “publish.”
It was only with hindsight and more reader feedback, that I realized I needed a more complete ending.
I love what you’re doing over at Memory Writers Network, and love how you delve so deeply into examining writers’ stories.
Warmly,
Laura
Definitely want to get a copy of this book, Kathleen, whether I win it or buy it. I am in the process of writing my memoir about my descent into the madness of a Manic episode and subsequent recovery so this book speaks to me on a personal level.
I”m in the process of getting my first draft down and will remember that it takes revision and rewriting to do it well. And if I need to write an update, I’ll remember I can do it with Create Space if I self publish. Thanks so much for this opportunity to win a copy of Adopted Reality. Count me in. 🙂
Hi Clar, Thanks so much for sharing your memoir journey with us and best wishes as you move forward. I have no doubt Adopted Reality will provide you with many valuable insights into your own memoir. I’m happy you enjoyed Laura’s post and appreciate you stopping by. Happy writing!
Clar,
I’m excited to learn more about your WIP memoir. It’s so tricky writing about BPD, especially what with the delusions of grandeur–describing it in a way that doesn’t make readers do “the big eye roll,” but is still truthful to the experience of one in the vice grip of mania.
Thanks, Kathy — you’re so supportive of others’ memoir writing journies; your blog is such an excellent resource!
Laura
Great interview, Laura and Kathy! Thanks to you both for showing the rest of us the advantages of self-publishing. Some of us have yet to publish our book, and with all the information speeding past us at the speed of light, it’s hard to know what is best and why. This interview is very helpful in that regard.
Hi Sherrey, I’m so glad you enjoyed Laura’s post. I am fascinated with how she incorporated reader feedback into her re-launched memoir. I agree she provided valuable tips on self-publishing. Thanks, as always, for stopping by!
Sherrey — I know, right? There is SOOO much information zooming past, it’s hard to know what’s good advice and what’s bull hockey 🙂
This was merely my experience, and I can’t wait to read more of your memoir!
Laura
Hi Laura, I agree that memoir is often a work-in-progress and that when we hear from our readers, it is a catalyst to keep writing our journeys. For truly memoir is a give and take between us, the writer, and our reader. This is the personal nature; the “gift” both for writer and reader. Thank you for sharing your memoir journey with us . . . and thank you Kathy for highlighting in this interview the many variations and avenues memoir writers are taking to connect and enhance their stories.
You’re welcome, Susan. I’m glad you enjoyed Laura’s guest post and I love your idea of a book being “a gift to the writer and the reader.” I appreciate your perspective, as always. Thanks for stopping by.
Susan,
I completely agree about the give-and-take between readers and writers. I find that for the most part, on Amazon, the one-star reviews are inevitably written by those who: just don’t like memoirs!
With memoir, it’s such a specific genre. We are writing because our readers want to learn something about the human experience and survival. Well, that’s my experience 🙂
Laura
Really enjoyed reading this review. You’ve made me want to read both versions of your book to see how your changes come across to the reader. Going to have to add to my ever lengthening list of must reads.
Welcome, Crystal. I appreciate you stopping by and leaving a comment. I’m happy you feel intrigued to add Adopted Reality to your must-read list.
Hi Crystal,
I’m so glad you got something positive out of the guest post. Please, let me know your thoughts on Adopted Reality–I always love to hear the feedback of other writers, especially from a fantasy writer such as yourself. My memoir has some elements of what i would call “delusional fantasy,” and I’d be interested in your thoughts. Best of luck on your second novel.
Laura
Laura,
I will definitely let you know what I think of Adopted Reality. It may be further into the summer before I get a chance to read it, but I’m looking forward to it very much! Good luck with
Sorry, my fingers got ahead of my thoughts. Good luck with your memoir!
Crystal
Laura, your story resonates with me in several ways. First, to address your question about revising a published book, many published authors feel that way – see improvements, mistakes, changes that “slipped by them.” If, in your case, a second edition (congratulations) gives you the opportunity to improve your book then go ahead.
Regarding the book’s content, I find it fascinating and it is on my to read list. Currently, I’m the mainstay of my bipolar son – broke, homeless, confused, struggling – and I’m perturbed and dismayed at what is happening, and also how it affects me and my work. You seem to have reached a good place in life which gives me hope that he will – eventually, and your comeback from that awful place where you were and the way you have remade your life is motivating and inspiring. Thanks, Laura, for your honest and brave attitude. Thanks also to Kathy Pooler for publishing this interview.
Penelope,
Thanks for your kind words. You know, bipolar affects people so differently, and what worked for one person won’t work for another. I wrote a whole new ending of Adopted Reality to delve deeply into the lifestyle changes, medications, and painful relapses. So, I hope some of that resonates with your experience with your son.
The three things I want to say right away are: First–I’m not a psychiatrist! Secont — the more manic breaks a person has, the more the brain is affected, and the worse the breaks are. So, nipping that in the bud is truly key. Third — we hear all the time: people with BPD *like* their mania, They feel powerful, creative. If they take meds, they won’t get to feel that way anymore.
No.
You can have you BPD under control, learn to live with it, learn to USE it to be creative productive, artistic, successful. For me, that’s learning to harness the power of the hypomania — NOT the mania. Mania = delusions, not eating, not sleeping, hallucinations — all leading to a dangerous breakdown.
I hope we can talk more about this, Penelope!
Laura
My pleasure, Penelope. Thanks for stopping by and for sharing your son’s story. How heartbreaking for you as a mother to witness a child whose life spins out of control due to BPD. I’ve been there with my own son for other reasons and I can relate. Laura does give us hope in comebacks through her brave and honest story.
Laura, thank you for bringing up what I consider to be an important issue, and one that’s rapidly taking off.
I can understand why some want to revise and re-issue memoir, and second and further editions are a respected, established tradition for informational books, but I’d like to point out another perspective that’s especially true for memoir.
If this becomes a trend, issuing one version and later coming out with a “new, improved” one, people may begin waiting for the “finished” book and slow purchases of new titles. This isn’t a problem with eBooks, because once they are purchased, they can be downloaded again to incorporate the new material.
Not so with print. Once I purchase a print book, for maybe twice the price of the updatable e-version, what I see is what I get, and I have to dig back into my pocket for the new one. If I just bought it and discover the new edition is out, I’m not going to be a happy camper. Sixteen years ago I paid top dollar for a copy of the CorelDraw Suite. Two weeks later I discovered the next version had already been released. I was horrified! To this day I have never bought another Corel product, and apparently neither have a legion of others. Who has even heard of them in the last dozen years? .
May I suggest that we give each book our best shot, taking time to get input from lots of beta readers and using editors as budget allows, then consider that “the baby has been born” and can’t be put back in the womb.
If we discover later that there is more to be said, we can write a sequel! It’s okay if the sequel is relatively short.
P.S. Susan Weidener’s sequel memoir is a first-rate example of the point I’m making.
I agree, Sharon. Susan’s sequel is a perfect example of another way to keep our stories updated.
Sharon,
Thanks so much for your comments. I can totally see how issuing revised editions can be a slippery slope for any author. I thought long and hard about your comments about buying a paperback and your customer service issues with CorelDraw Suite. But, I do stand by my decision–I actually gave away the 2nd edition for free (ebook) for an entire month. I advertised it on my social media, and anyone who wanted an update was more than welcome to it, especially those who purchased the paperback. (I haven’t done a paperback version of the 2nd edition yet–it’s on my list :))
I may catch some slack for this, but I think that the digital/changeable/updatable nature of ebooks affords us indie writers with some well deserved level of freedom. for the most part, we’re doing it all on our own, and on our own dime. There’s an additional very important aspect that I didn’t even go into in this guest post, and that is the ever-developing “back matter material.”
I had NONE (except a bio) for the 1st edition. The more I learned about indie publishing, the ideas I had for my 2nd edition. Now, there’s:
– author Q&A with our very own Kathy Pooler
– A Blogger Guide, with post ideas related to themes from Adopted Reality
– A Reader’s Guide
and more …
I don’t know if I’ll do more editions in the future for Adopted Reality. I already have a 2nd slice-of-life memoir in the works — about a completely different time in my life … but as I know you’re aware, balancing social media/marketing with actual writing is an ongoing challenge!
All the very best,
Laura
I have Laura’s book on my to-read list too. BPD must be one of the most difficult challenges one could be given and to be able to find meaning and ways of coping and sharing these with others is so brave and humane! Of course, to find out “more” and how Laura has continued on her voyage, would definitely be desired.
So nice to hear from you, Louise. I hope you will enjoy Adopted Reality as much as I did! Thanks for stopping by.
Louise,
Thanks so much for your feedback — BPD is difficult to overcome, if that is even possible. It’s more like living with it and trying to maintain a level of sanity that is on par with others who don’t have it 🙂
Warmly,
Laura
The notion of having unfinished business with a memoir is interesting to me because I see myself in the opposite camp – when I was done with my book I was so ‘over’ it. I couldn’t bear the thought of adding another comma to it. Memoir writing is not easy at the best of times (my opinion), so I can’t imagine that an update is any more fun than the first edition.
Hi Belinda, I certainly can relate to “being done” with a memoir as it is such a daunting task and I’m not even finished yet! The way I see it,it’s nice to have options with digital publishing to tweak what we have based upon our needs. The way understand it, Laura was not satisfied with her ending (based on reader feedback) and went back to her readers to make improvements. How creative. I do admit, though it seems to have worked well for Laura, I hope I do not feel the need to do that 🙂 Thanks for stopping by and sharing your perspective on this.
Belinda,
How fun to see you over here … I’m looking forward to our blog exchange next week 🙂
I know, I was totally OVER my memoir, as well–but I had to admit to myself that I’d glossed over the recovery, the additional (minor) reality breaks, and the arduous task to wholeness.
That said, I wouldn’t wish such revisions on anyone!
Laura
Once I got my legs underneath me, this book was heartfelt, honest and an amazing read. If you have been adopted, have bi-polar disorder, or even if you haven’t and you just want a realistic perspective on either of those situations, you should pick up a copy of this book. Laura writes from a place that most of us endeavor to reach , but many of us never do. She is open, throws caution to the wind and tells her riveting tale in a way that holds the attention of the reader like a vice grip. The portions of the book dedicated to the events of September 11th have never (to my knowledge) been dealt with the way Laura has in this memoir. To imagine the guilt, struggle and feelings of hopelessness and eventual recovery and acceptance she has been through breaks your heart, but also gives you a totally new perspective on life in general and the differences among us.
Stephanie, Welcome and thank you very much for your sharing your excellent review of Laura’s memoir, Adopted Reality. You have captured the power of her memoir to engage the reader on several levels–PTSD, 9/11 and the adoptive experience. I appreciate you stopping by.
Laura .. a great interview … I resonated with the business of neglecting the marketing when my memoir first came out … there was so much more that I could have done. But I will do it differently with my novel …. have a big marketing platform before I let it out the door.
But I also share Belinda’s feeling that when I was done with Moonbeam, I didn’t want to write another word. I had exhausted my emotional capacity for living with and re-telling that story. But many of the insights that came after it was done will show up in my novel. Nothing goes to waste!
How interesting Mary that you are incorporating your insights from writing your memoir into your novel. It just proves there are many options available to us and we can select the ones that fit. I can relate to your feeling of emotional exhaustion and not wanting to invest one more ounce of energy into what you have created. I give Laura credit for the having the energy and motivation to do what worked for her. I’m looking forward to reading your novel as it seems it will be an extension of your fascinating memoir Sailing on the Moonbeams. Best wishes as your move forward with it and thanks for joining in the conversation. 🙂
Thanks for writing, Mary. You are so right–nothing should go to waste. I’m looking forward to your WIP novel 🙂
Laura