Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
“If you have a dream, don’t just sit there. Gather courage to believe that you can succeed and leave no stone unturned to make it a reality.”
― Roopleen
Now that the time is closing in on pushing that publish button for my memoir, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse, I can share some lessons I’ve learned in the process.
When I think of what has brought me from the desire to write a book to publishing a memoir, I think of the 3 P’s:
Purpose-driven Passion:
The desire to find a story then share it with the world requires every bit of stamina, focus and commitment one can muster. Once I found my story of getting into and out of two emotionally abusive marriages, I was able to make a firm commitment (to myself) to get my story out there. I became connected to my purpose for writing and sharing a message of hope, resilience and courage for those who found themselves in similar circumstances. It is possible to climb out of the abyss of poor decisions and to move on to live life on your own terms. That connection to purpose fueled my passion and kept me moving toward publication. The passion helped me work my way around my self-doubt, my hesitancy to re-live the pain of poor decisions and my concern about what others would think or say. Five years worth of starts and stops and many edits later, I found my story taking shape. Passion for my story drove it forward.
Patience:
Ah, yes. I would never tell anyone they could write their memoir in six weeks or six months or even six years. I know Augusten Burroughs cranked out his memoir Running with Scissors in two weeks. There are always exceptions, and he is clearly one of them. I have found that it truly is a process and a journey, determined solely by the person who is writing the story. The story I started out writing is not the story I will end up publishing. I didn’t even find that story until I had written reams of vignettes over a three-year peroid, experimented with voice, tense and structure, received substantive feedback from beta readers and professional editors, and killed many of “my darlings” that did not add to the narrative. And I’ll admit, there were times I truly wondered if I would ever really end up publishing the story. I could not rush it. But, if I was patient and committed to writing, I found my story developed nicely and was getting groomed for publication. I had to be patient and let it find its own time.
All I needed to do was write from my heart and the story that needed to be told revealed itself to me.
Perseverance:
Amen to this one. Once I had devoted the time and energy to my memoir, I knew I did not want to give up on it. I had already put in years of work, to say nothing of the emotional upheaval of facing past mistakes and gleaning lessons learned for both myself and my readers. It began to shape itself into a story with a beginning, middle and an end. It had a message and a purpose. I couldn’t let it down. I had to persevere through the doubts, past my inner critic, through the learning curves, some steeper than others, and onward.
Ever Faithful to His Lead will be born very soon—July is the target month. Launch date TBA.
Passion for my story and its purpose, patience to let it unfold as it is meant to and perseverance to power through all the obstacles and challenges of publishing in the 21st century all helped me reach this milestone.
How about you? I’d love to hear what has powered you to reach your goal of publishing. Please leave your comments below~
This Week:
Announcement: Congratulations to Louise Mathewson for being the winner of Nancy Sharp’s memoir, Both Sides Now: A True Story of Love, Loss, and Bold Living!
Monday, 06/02/14: I’m over at Susan Weidener’s Women’s Writing Circle blog with a guest post about a theme in my memoir: “Memoir Explores Woman as Caretaker.” Hope you’ll stop by and join in that conversation too.
Thursday, 06/05/14: “Author Attitude : What Is it and Why Do I Need It? WOW Women on Writing Book Tour & Giveaway with Nina Amir.”
Week #4 and 83% funded!
My Pubslush Crowdfunding Campaign for my memoir, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse ends at midnight on June 11.
Thanks to your generous contributions, I’m so close and headed for the home stretch with only 9 more days to go!
By making a contribution you will help spread the messages of hope, resilience and courage to those seeking freedom from abuse.
Here’s the link to the campaign:
http://pubslush.com/books/id/2076.
If you are unable to make a contribution, I’d love it if you would share this link with others.
Please join me in sharing the hope!
Thank you.
Kathy,
It’s getting so exciting. You’ve worked so hard and it’s time to see it through. Your posts have been wonderful and great for the lead up to the big day. Can’t wait to see it in print.
Thanks so much for all your cheers and support,Joan. Yes, it’s very exciting! 🙂
What a helpful post. All three Ps are a plus for any author starting out. Thanks so much, Kathy, for all your wise words.
Thanks so much, Madeline. You have certainly inspired me from the beginning!
Hooray, Kathy! I’m so proud of you. It’s exciting to see that your dream is becoming a reality. I can attest to these three P’s. Writing a book is so not for wusses. Congrats my friend.
Amen, Grace! One can only find out from doing. It’s a long road, indeed, as you know so well. I’m so grateful for your cheers and support along the way. Thank you!
Passion, Patience and Perseverance – There is no doubt in my mind, Kathy, of the role that these three Ps played in having your incredible memoir come to fruition. What I’ve come to realize after reading the ARC is that you are a writer who lived her writing experience with heart, mind and energetic spirit working together. Congratulations! Enjoy the rest of the ride!
Dody, I’ll never forget how you encouraged and inspired me after I read your memoir, Mothersitting..”go with the flow.” Your encouragement and support mean the world to me. Thank you!
Let’s close the 17 % gap and get Kathy’s memoir publication fully funded this week via PubSlush – http://pubslush.com/books/id/2076
I’m looking forward to her autographed book and a shout-out on my blog!
Oh, Marian, you are a dear. Thank you for your unwavering support!:-)
This is the first time I’ve answered a blogger’s question with “what you said.”
I felt like I was reading my own thoughts–getting my memoir published was all about purpose, passion, patience and perseverance. I’m amazed that you accomplished all that in 3 years. It took me much, much longer.
I wish you every success in getting your story out there and into the hands of women who need hope. And I’m looking forward to reading it.
Welcome, Tracy! It’s nice to meet you. Thank you for your good wishes. In response to your comment about only taking 3 years–that was the time period I took continual memoir writing classes. I had been writing–aimlessly–for many years before that. My story didn’t take shape until after I finished all the vignettes. Clearly, it takes time to find our stories. I appreciate you stopping by and sharing your thoughts. I’m looking forward to checking out your site at http://tracyleekarner.com. Thanks!
Wise words from a wise, and very dear, woman. All best as you ramp up toward publication date, Kathy.
Thank you for your sweet and generous sentiments, Linda and for being a source of inspiration to me along the way. Much appreciated. 🙂
Thanks for sharing your journey, Kathy. You inspire me greatly to keep working on my own story. Love the combination of patience and perseverance- brilliant.
Cheers and look forward to reading your book.
Nice to see you again, Carolyn. Thanks for stopping by. Im honored you feel inspired to keep working on your own story and appreciate your support and cheers. Best wishes in persevering with your story!
I love your three P’s! I am finding them to be so true for me. And after following you along your road these last months I see how they developed for you.
Good luck with your funding, Kathleen. I am heading that way now. 🙂
Aww, thanks, Clar. I’m so glad the 3 P’s resonated with your own journey. I appreciate your Pubslush support!
Well done, Kathy. As a marketer, I was prepared for you to be talking about Product, Price, and Placement. 😉 Your three Ps were more important for the writing journey.
Hi Carol, those 3 P’s work as well but passion, patience sand perseverance certainly help in writing, especially with memoir! Thanks! 🙂
You hit the mark, Kathy! Writing a memoir is hard work especially when the subject centers on abuse of any kind. It took me three years and it was very emotional to bare my soul. “Life of Grace a memoir” has been published both as an ebook and paperback. I hope to read your book soon-congratulations! I hope your book helps others change direction.
Welcome, Marta! Your name and book title sound familiar. Have we met on LinkedIn? Congratuations on publishing your memoir,Life of Grace, a Memoir. I’ll check it out. I appreciate your support. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
Kathy … loved the 3 P’s … but especially the patience … taking the time to realize what the story really was and how best to tell it. Congratulations on seeing it through to the end!
Thanks,Mary! I have appreciated your insights and perspectives along the way. I agree, it takes time to find the “real” story and how best to tell it.
It was so interesting to read about your latest book, Kathy. I began blogging my memoir and then realized I really wanted to publish it. I am writing the manuscript now. I then turned my blog into a place to write about the themes in my memoir and my latest post is about codependency (been there, done that!). I found myself in more than one abusive relationship, not understanding what was drawing me towards unsafe men. I am now a psychotherapist and that also seems to be a theme in my practice.
Welcome back, Linda! Your seasoned insights about codependency certainly resonate with a main theme in my memoir. Your website at http://lindalochridge.com is a treasure trove for anyone who has been in an abusive relationship because you offer a personal and professional perspective. Best wishes with your memoir and thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. I hope you’ll keep us posted on your memoir. 🙂
Hi Kathy,
I felt myself nodding my head as I read your post. I have been on a seven-year memoir journey myself, and I understand what you’re saying. My story is about caring for Mom and Dad through their long battle with dementia and Alzheimer’s, but in order to tell the story completely, I had to dig into the preceding years that shaped us into the people in the story. There were many times when I wanted to stop, but that “still small voice” continued to push me.
Congratulations on completing your long journey.
Blessings,
Linda Brendle, Author
A Long and Winding Road: A Caregiver’s Tale of Life, Love, and Chaos
Available July 1, 2014 from Anaiah Press
Welcome, Linda! Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your memoir writer’s journey with us. Congratulations on the upcoming publication of your memoir! As a nurse practitioner, I am well aware of the price families pay in dealing with loved ones with Alzheimer’s. I also have a dear friend whose husband is in the late stages of the disease. It is a heartbreaking journey. Yours is a very important story that I’m sure will touch many in a healing way. I will check out your book and already know I’ll be telling my friend about it. I appreciate your good wishes and wish you the best in this next phase of your journey. I hope you come back!
I am looking forward to reading your memoir. I, too, have been writing mine for about 4 1/2 years now and it beginning to take shape. I had to define a clear audience and purpose before I could get the first draft ready for review. There is still a long way to go to publication. I have just begun reading your blogs and i find them helpful. This one is inspiring me to keep going. Thank you, Betsy
Welcome, Betsy! It’s to meet you and your kind comment are very much appreciated. I’m so happy you find the posts helpful. We all learn much from each other when we share our journeys and our stories. Memoir writing is indeed a journey and a process. Please come back and keeps posted on it. Best wishes with your memoir~
Kathy