Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Cheryl Stahle/@yourbestwriting
Author’s Note: This post is reblogged from Cheryl Stahle’s Your Best Writing Group blog, originally posted on July 11, 2013. She’s here to share how a writing rant worked to her advantage and helped her generate story ideas.
Cheryl did this guest post on Writer’s Block in September, 2012.
She is the author of Slices of Life: The Art and Craft of Memoir Writing. My reviews can be found on Amazon and Goodreads.
Welcome back, Cheryl!
Writing Rants: A Quick & Dirty Way to Clear the Air
I’m stuck…what do I try next?
Deep in your writing soul “something” is holding your back and you need to move it in order to write. Lately, I’ve been seriously stuck and have spent hours just sitting in front of computer screens. I’ve tried the usual tricks:
take a break,doodle, sketch, make lists, try a new locale for writing. Nothing has worked.
Reading has also provided me with inspiration and I love to tag those special phrases and lines on my e-reader which I want to remember. Scrolling through those I stumbled upon one of my favorite poems, “Dream Deferred” by Langston Hughes. I read… I thought… and the block moved just a tiny bit. Finally anger and frustration and a whole lot of stress regarding life changes that are hitting me fast and furiously began spilling onto the page.
Rants by definition are not “pretty” writing but emotional writing that must come out before your lose your voice. Rants can be fun to read due to the emotion that pours out in the words; an energy lies underneath the structure of a rant that takes your readers on a ride. They can also be hurtful.
This process helps structure your rants:
1. Find your topic. Be it something you know a lot about or in my case, a writer’s block
2. Make a list of the negative aspects of your topic
3. Find a way to take that negative brainstorm and find some positive angles to explore—what’s the meaning behind your rant?
4. Provide some balance to the negative emotion and explain or at least acknowledge other perspectives Ask yourself, “Why should others care about my rant topic?
5. And most importantly, should this rant become public?
In my writer’s notebooks, I tend to fold down the pages containing rants because they can be hurtful and in their purest form, they are truly uncensored writing. But I am sharing my latest rant with you so that you can see what one looks like. Remember, this is not edited but a free flow of words on paper:
Here is the frightening part of this rant: you are about to read 5 minutes worth of writing.
Once these words fell onto the page, the burden I felt on my shoulder lifted and a different writer’s voice emerged.
______________________________
I hate the number 10. It’s the number that curses hope and kills dreams.
When my son was 10, he suffered a traumatic brain injury which stole his hopes and actual chances of playing ice hockey. He remains with us intact and amazing but the “what if” that incident on the ice never happened? What could he have been? What a heavy load to carry alone.
I waited 10 years to file for divorce after making that heart wrenching decision. I did so to prepare myself to have a more suitable job that would keep me closer to my son, not require global travel and would allow me to be a totally committed parent. Ten years of my life waiting. Ten years of dreams deferred. I withered during those 10 years; life seeped away, I festered, angered and just tried to survive. The challenges ahead as a single parent were great so I prepared despite the angst.
Now with an empty nest I can spread my wings and fly. Travel. Explore. I’m used to being alone but with a book, the sound of an incoming tide, the setting of a tropical sun over the horizon, the 10 years of waiting so worth it. Who am I? Finally, I can figure that out. Maybe I can live the dream of a writer and teacher without having to work multiple jobs. Maybe I can stop worrying so much about curfews and SATs and college acceptance portfolios. My son is ready for the challenges of the world.
But 2 tens too late, I am blessed to marry the man I should have the first time. But he didn’t ask and moved on. 20 years of waiting for him to come back. “You’re 10 years ahead of me” as a parent I’m repeatedly told. I hear it in my sleep those haunting words as well as in the day to day of living. My dreams deferred probably for the last time.
I’ll be 60 before I can finally watch the sun set over the horizon at the beach free of encumbrance. Ten more years of waiting to have the freedom I’ve craved all of these years now that my son is raised. Most likely my last 10 years before illness and age finally slow me down will be spent waiting.
Have these decades deferred really mattered? Will the next 10? My dreams now sag; a heavy load…gone, deferred.
___________________________________
Phew…I’m pretty angry. But this rant needed to come out so that I can get back to my focus on writing about empty nesting for WE Magazine for Women and scheduling workshops for fall. But now that the heat of the moment has passed, several potential topic for public writing appear: (1) the changing role of a parent over time; (2) living and losing dreams; (3) redefining your role as a step parent; (4) single parenting an ill child.
So while this rant provided some catharsis, it also showed me 4 potential topics for public writing. By following a process, the rant contains some structure and function to help me determine if there are subjects worth further exploration.
Give ranting a try…you might be surprised by what you discover.
What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore–
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over–
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?
~Langston Hughes
Author’s Bio and contact information:
Cheryl Stahle’s Slices of Life: the Art and Craft of Memoir Writing is available at www.yourbestwritinggroup.com as well as Amazon and GoodReads. The marketing plan evolves and grows every day assuming a life of its own. You can keep up with Cheryl’s adventures on FaceBook by liking Your Best Writing Group or following her on Twitter @yourbestwriting. Cheryl teaches English and runs writing groups helping authors of all ages and abilities capture life stories.
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Slices of Life: The Art and Craft of Memoir Writing can be ordered on Amazon
Thank you Cheryl for showing us how “structuring our rants” can help us discover new directions in our writing life.
How about you? How do you clear the air? Have writing rants helped you to find topics to write about?
Cheryl will give away a copy of her book, Slices of Life: The Art and Craft of Memoir Writing to a commenter whose name will be selected in a random drawing.
We’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~
This week:
I’m also over at Paul Dorsett’s blog, Utterances of an Overcrowded Mind with “7 Tips I Have Learned About Connecting with My Purpose for Writing a Memoir.” Hope to see you there.
Saturday, 8/24: I am hosting WOW! Women on Writing‘s book tour and giveaway with a review of A Southern Place by Elaine Drennon Little.
Next Week: Memoir Author Sheila Collins will discuss “Lessons for a Dancing Life” in conjunction with the release of her memoir, Warrior Mother: Fierce Love, Unbearable Loss and Rituals that Heal. Sheila will give away a copy of her memoir to a commenter whose name will be selected in a random drawing.
Thanks, Kathy and Cheryl. This comment isn’t about writing. It’s about not being bummed out about having to wait, and getting older. Here’s the good stuff about getting older: http://www.timegoesby.net/weblog/2013/08/an-old-age-better-than-i-ever-expected.html
Thanks Lynne, for sharing this upbeat article. It’s always nice to be reminded of the benefits of aging. 🙂
Cheryl … I was reminded, as I read your rant – especially the bit about waiting ten years to divorce — that one of the culturally induced issues for women is the belief that you should “stick it out” or “make it work.” The lesson I wish I wish I learned earlier is that sometimes “quitting” is exactly the right thing to do.
Mary, I agree wholeheartedly! Often women are suppressing the choice that will give them freedom and the ability to make choices on their own because they should “stick it out, “make it work,” or to me the worst, “hang in there for the kids.” “Quitting” can be and often the next right step.
Absolutely, Mary. Sometimes “quitting” is the healthiest thing we can do–always more clear in hindsight 🙂
I’m reminded of an old affirmation I once needed in one of my past lives: “I have the right to say ‘No,’ even after I’ve said,”Yes.'” There are always consequences to changing our minds, and we live with them; but it’s our right nonetheless. I had dinner one night with my younger son, a year or so after I’d left his father. I asked him how he felt about the pending divorce and he repled, “it came ten years too late.”
Thanks for the reminder, Mary.
Hi Kathy and Cheryl. Writing about what bums us out is what poetry therapy/therapeutic writing is all about, whether it is in the form of writing a poem or a blog or a memoir or a list of what bugs you. That’s my opinion, anyway. Your rant, Cheryl, was amazing in all that it explored for you. I am reading a caregiver’s memoir for a review this morning, too. Your rant and the first 35 pages of that memoir have me wanting to sit down right now (after I finish this comment) and do my own writing again, too. Thank you!
Welcome, Nessa! I’m happy Cheryl’s “rant” resonated with you and has inspired you to do your own writing again. Best wishes, Kathy
Kathy and Cheryl, what a good reminder of what allowing ourselves to rant can do for our inner spirit! Cheryl, you have given us the power to take care of ourselves in whatever way works for us, even in a writing rant. And Kathy, you have given us the gift of sharing your space with Cheryl today.
Blessings to you both,
Sherrey
Sherrey, I love how we can share what works for us, as Cheryl has done here, and help each other out. A good rant now & then can work wonders in clearing the air and moving forward. Thanks, as always, for stopping by.
WOW 🙂 Ladies, your comments are powerful and meaningful. I do believe that ranting can help heal, explore, discover and refocus us as writers. And with my particular rant, just the frustrations of always being told to stick it out, wait, don’t cause trouble….that energy we are programmed with growing up.
Since I wrote this piece for Kathy, my son is doing awesome in college (of course I cried); I”m married now 1 month (and 2 days) and the bonus children issue has surfaced as I had feared but we are dealing with it but sadly, my dreams for a beach get-away have been deferred yet again.
This is a great post! I just realized I’ve been stuck in writing my memoir “not a proper Haitian girl” not because I am afraid of my family or public will receive it but because I’m going thru similar life changes — my son leaving for college, getting older, finally shedding a relationship that while not ‘bad’ isn’t ‘good’ and having to wait the last 5 years to do so. I am feeling angry and fearful and need to write about it so I can get to excitement of new possibilities that are buried under the heavy load of daily stress. Maybe today I can breathe deep, forgive myself and begin again. I’m certainly willing to try. Thank you! Namaste
Welcome, Marie-Franciose! Thank you for sharing your heartfelt story. Absolutely, start writing and forgive yourself so you can move on. Best wishes, Kathy
Hooray Marie-Francoise..t..celebrate your feelings of empowerment. One step at a time.
This is the most eloquent and polite “rant” I have ever read! It stands on its own as a great article about the concerns as a parent of a child w special needs, sacrifices parents make, (especially us moms), and all that involves plus concerns about aging and what the future holds. It’s very real and honest.
Paige
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts, Paige. I agree, Cheryl’s rant yielded many stories. I’m glad you enjoyed her post.
Paige….you are correct, this rant is a bit “tame” with language but not all are. I let the words and emotions set the tone and in this piece I feel more sad than angry. Some days, my writing rants would not receive a PG rating. It all depends upon what emotions are stuck.
This is a beautiful rant, poignant in its anger and loss over deferred dreams. Starts me off on a rant of my own.
What happens to a dream deferred? Or almost. I can relate to that. So can many of us at a certain age. To the seeming impossibility of making my dream to be a writer come true. Watching others like my non-writer sister publish a book and never write another. While all my books were fading inside me because I didn’t have the time to write them. Too busy pursuing a business career that gave me the wherewithal to support my two children. Then everything blowing up on me and having to make a new start two more times.
My rant stops there. I’m fortunate that at 70 it’s not too late for me. I may not ever have the writing career I dreamed of but my deferred dream is still viable. So I’d better stop ranting and be grateful that life has given me this chance after all.
Welcome, Penelope! I love your message that your” deferred dreams are still viable.” Thank you for sharing your own inspirational and hopeful “rant.” I’m happy Cheryl’s rant prompted you to share your own. You remind us all to keep believing in our dreams. Blessings, Kathy
Your comments are so powerful and full of hope. I too am mourning and celebrating my writing career and realizing that I will never be JK Rowlings or Fitzgerald but I have my niche and love that. I wish you the blessings of finding your niche and not letting those stories inside of you wither away.
Thank you Cheryl. I love the idea of ranting when I need to “get something out.” I recently found my journals from the year before I went in to Peace Corps, the year of waiting. I did a lot of ranting back then and found I wrote a series of daily entries (not my original idea; but where it came from I have no recall) where I’d circle some phrase from my rant and ask, “what do I mean by that?” I’d write about that, then pull out another phrase and ask the same question, and so on until I felt “done.” I remember it as a time that took me deeper into whatever I was ranting about.
I love the freedom I have when I journal, knowing no one will ever read it. So, thank you particularly for sharing your rant with us. And thank you a thousand times for the Langston Hughes poem. It hit the spot.
Hi Janet. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your rant with us. Cheryl has really struck a chord!
What a wonderful strategy for taking your writing deeper. Thank you for sharing!